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Review of Running  Open in new Window.
Review by PJacks Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Flower6*
The Basics - Grammar, Spelling, and Structure:

There are just a few areas in your story where the wording is a little much – overall it’s presented very well.

1) Thirty-three and extremely fit, Amanda was used to, and relished in keeping herself in shape.
You might consider leaving out the “was used to, and” making it just “Amanda relished keeping herself in shape”
2) In the third paragraph you use “made her way” in two areas. I might suggest making the second sentence simpler with just a “As she jogged around a turn in the trail . . .”


*Balloon5*
Character Development/Dialogue:

Although it was very short, I liked the twist near the end. It made me want to know more about Amanda, Lisa, who this guy was and why he was stalking her.

*Gift4*
Plot:

Again, I liked the way the story flowed. It made me want more information on the characters! Excellent job

*Flower1*
Overall Story Presentation:

The words you used painted a very vivid picture without going too deep in detail. It was easy for me to imagine the scene. I really enjoyed the imagery.

*Exclaim**Note1**Question*
My Impression of the Piece:

A very good read, thank you so much for sharing your story!

Writing Warriors Unite!
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Review by PJacks Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Being new to the writing industry (and this website as well), I found your article not only informative, but humorous as well. There's nothing I love better than to get the chance to laugh while I'm learning a lesson. I found your Do's and Don't list especially helpful (and I've taken a few notes from them as well). Thank you for the guidelines :)
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