for me this an improvement from "an ocean's modest love story". though again it would do better with just a little more rhythm. as for the imagery of nature the style seems to be going in a good direction. keep up, though I think it's time you try something new. the theme of love still has more corners to explore and more "fun" ways to write about it.
usually putting a rating on something that seems to reflect the writer's inner thoughts (especially un-answered wishes or doubts) is a bit hard, like since when you rate feelings? still the 4 stars rating on this one is purely for the lack of more words. but the message was nicely delivered. and on a personal note: if there is good in a wish then it will be fulfilled, it's only a matter of time, so patience. and for future writings i recommend either more expressive or longer lines. either of those is a nice way to both make a better writing AND express yourself better. if there are things you can't say well enough then write about them as much as you can instead.
Nice one. I like the topic and the words you choose here to handle it fit it almost perfectly. personally, I say don't make a habit of writing short lines, in poems at least. although I don't mind seeing them as long as they fit well. the problem is that when they don't fit: they seem like words thrown like that after running out of ideas. as for the topic this is a nice reflection. in life you indeed will have to come across at least one person who neglects you and when they ask about you after a long time: it's only because they need something, so it's both neglect and selfishness in one package lol. keep writing, and have a nice day.
simple, beautiful, though could use some improvements. personally, I would add more rhythms to it. but given how simple your choice of words and structuring is i would say this shows a decent level of honesty, which is perhaps what adds to its beauty. keep writing, and i hope that should you have a reunion it would be soon, and should you stay apart from your loved one then may it be for the best, and may what is to come be better.
well written, and a familiar writing style which makes it even more interesting to me. been a while since I've seen a beautiful imagery such as this. the only "complaint" I might have is the emoticons, for me they tend to draw attention away a little from the lines, but overall beautiful, keep writing like this.
i like it, for something you wrote on a whim it's a good start. in future poems try removing the numbers, you know those 1) and 2) etc, as well as the "END" part. for me they make a poem less engaging, and a poem is like that one type of writing you want to be engaging the most. and as for the title well how about "the present of present". or maybe it sounds dull XD? anyway, for a teen this is a nice start in poetry, and i hope you give that genre more attention, it's a relaxing way of expression: like venting out but also challenging yourself to do it elegantly. may you have a peaceful life my friend.
it sure is delightful, though the rather biblical words threw me off a bit since I'm not used to seeing them (English is not my first language after all). but overall, I liked the way it's written. wish you well in future writings.
beautiful. if i had to make a modification it would be adding a few more lines. mainly to describe just a little more the moment of the rainbow appearing. from experience i got to know that detailed scenery can leave a deep impression on kids which helps with teaching life lessons early on. keep up the good work
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