A very thought provoking piece here... and very moving in the way you have worded this poem. To put the reader through His mind, and then turn the question back onto the reader... it is hard NOT to feel anything after reading this poem.
You have done an excellent job in putting this together, and in reaching your audience.
Thank you for sharing your poem with us... I really liked this (actually, it's reminds me of one of my own... "Outside"... perhaps we share similar experiences?!)
I like your use of description, the way you've painted the picture of the "facade" of the girl, and then have given us a glimpse of the girl lurking inside the shell.
I have to say that I absolutely loved this!! Such a humourous "tongue-in-cheek" peice you have written here! You have painted a very colourful picture here, and the way you've told the story in such a light hearted way - it's great! I really, really enjoyed reading this!
Great work - keep it up! (Will have to check out whether there's anymore stories from the "Cream Bun Cafe" now!!) :)
What a well written story, taking us from a happy, heartfelt Graduation, to the blossoming of first love, and then to such a climatic ending... the sacrifice of love... and the promise of a greater future.
This was moving peice with plenty of occasions for the tissues to come out! The characters were believable, and "this" reader cried along with them!
Well done!
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