The good: Solid entry into teen romance genre. Characterization is solid; all three main characters come across as understandable, fairly down-to-earth teens. There’s enough happening on the peripheral to give a sense of depth to their world; Rowan’s divorced grandparents, Shawn’s alcoholic mom; Sarah’s asshole boyfriend. I’m not sure yet where Sarah stands on the subject of Rowan and Shawn; she’s been ambiguous so far. I hope you further develop the situations outside of the romance between the two best friends.
The bad: The story seems to be fairly conventional so far. Nothing out of the ordinary, and I kinda feel I’ve seen it before. (I’m guessing Deegan doesn’t have a chance) There isn’t much I feel I can advice you on how to improve, since the story is what it is, and that’s part of its charm. Nevertheless, anyone looking for this type of story should be satisfied.
Suggestions: You might want to consider splitting up the chapters into several items, since you aren’t able to create books. There are a lot of lazy readers on the internet, and I wonder if it would be best to spoon feed them bite-sized morsels of story. (I haven’t yet figured out myself how to appeal to those people, so take my advice with a grain of salt)
Best of luck to you!
RisanF
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