rjbiocca's (rjbiocca) Reviews

rjbiocca

Review Requests: ON

16 Public Reviews Given

16 Total Reviews Given

1

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4851451

Review of Darkness Sea II- the Boy

Review by rjbiocca

Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)

That is some amazing work, you managed to take us through the life of a small neglected child who eventually becomes the neglecter in a manner of seconds. There is one issue I have with it and that is the 'beat'/amount of syllables for each line. You have a random amount of syllables for each line and it really affects the tempo of the read, and it mainly results in some lines not hitting as hard as they should. Otherwise good job.

2

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4851447

Review of Keep me safe

Review by rjbiocca

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Such a heart wrenching story. Good job in describing how the mind feels fractured in cases of mental degradation. I actually made a poem specifically targeting Alzheimer's and honestly it matches up pretty similarly to this story. I even noticed that your story has the same effect as my poem where we are forced to read it again to fully grasp the meaning behind each word. Good job.

3

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4789881

Review of Tomorrow

Review by rjbiocca

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.5)

Nice poem, good message, but honestly the first rhyme and lack of rhymes anywhere else kinda thew me off. Try maybe either making a rhyme scheme to follow or a feeling scheme. Poems can also follow a feeling they don’t have to rhyme but it gets confusing if you use both of them in an incomplete fashion.

4

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4789880

Review of I Feel Better When People Forget I Exist

Review by rjbiocca

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

It is a good poem, but if this is from the heart… I want you to know that we all appreciate you and you are not alone in this feeling. We are all candles, shining bright and warm, the world becomes a little darker and colder when one of us goes out. Keep your life warm and bright, cause no one will be glad that you are gone.