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17 Public Reviews Given
17 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
My review style is personal, structured, and emotionally driven. I aim to balance honest praise with thoughtful, constructive critique, always offering suggestions that help strengthen the work. I try to keep my tone respectful and supportive because I believe feedback should encourage, not discourage. My goal is to help writers grow, not just improve one piece.
I'm good at...
I’m good with wordplay and grammar, but I don’t let technical flaws get in the way of a good story. If a piece connects with me and makes me feel something, that matters more than perfect punctuation.
Favorite Genres
Horror, fantasy, thriller, mystery, adventure, comedy and so on.
Favorite Item Types
Chapters or short stories, both fictional and non-fictional.
I will not review...
There’s nothing in particular I refuse to review, but some things do throw me off a little. Congested paragraphs with no breathing room can be hard to engage with. I prefer work that’s spaced out, clean, and easy on the eyes. I enjoy pieces that are broken into chapters or shorter segments. Also, if something is extremely long, it can be a bit overwhelming to review in one sitting. I connect best with writing that gives the reader room to absorb and reflect.
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Robrayl Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review of "Paint the pain away" by D.K.D

Hello, D.K.D. I am robrayl and it's my pleasure to have read your Poem.

My review of your poem is as follows: ("These are my own opinions and do not reflect the views of all readers.")


📋 Relatable or not

The raw frustration in the poem is evident and resonates with readers. I’ve had moments myself when I wondered, “Why do others find a way around something while I’m still stuck?”

These lines:
"If light can fill the dark, then why can't I paint the pain away?"

leverly capture the inner struggles and thoughts we all face. They reflect a sense of comparison—if others can find relief, why can’t I?​

✒️Poetic Form and Flow

The free verse bursts like blazing. Burning. Broken. mirror the chaos perfectly.
The repetition of the opening question at the close creates a haunting loop, strengthening the theme without forcing rhyme.
​
A few spots can be adjusted for smoother flow:

Your Line:
"Winding bright tendrils of black"

Suggestion:
"Winding bright tendrils of deepest black"

Just a minor suggestion for a smoother flow, though it works fine as it is.

🍀Imagery and Atmosphere

The visuals are surreal and striking, depicting a world falling apart into an emotional void that feels almost suffocating in its intensity.

Metaphorical lines, like the sky folding from blue to nothing or twisted flames of dashing colors, create a poetic effect that draws readers in, giving real-world problems a surreal twist.

🌟Emotional Arc and Themes

From personal torment to They who gape with clouded souls, it shifts to collective blindness.

The final line lands with a spark of motivation:

But if one can simply brush over the brokenness of day, why can't I paint the pain away?—turning despair into defiant hope.
​

Final Thoughts

"Paint the Pain Away" is a striking, surreal visual poem that draws readers in with its rich, captivating atmosphere and masterful use of metaphors, making intangible pain feel vividly real.
​
So, that’s it! Keep writing—you’re on a good pace.

Warm regards,
Robrayl (AJ)


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2
2
Review by Robrayl Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of "Neon and Moonwater" by Ra M.

Hello, Ra M. I am Robrayl and it's my pleasure to have read your story.

My review of your story is as follows: ("These are my own opinions and do not reflect the views of all readers.")

📋Relatable or not:

This feels like a quiet spiritual unfolding rather than a plot-driven story. Mara's internal struggles—self-doubt, regrets, the quiet ache of searching for meaning—feel relatable.

The inclusion of her night walks as a way to process emotions fits perfectly with the theme of inner awakening. As a night walker myself, I can relate deeply and feel this aspect.

🍀The Setting and Atmosphere:

The city comes alive as a character itself, with vivid sensory details. You’ve created a dreamlike atmosphere in each section, with moments like the forgotten park on the town’s edge and the stormy weather. You use feeling (pain, heat, suffocation) really well.

🧙‍♂️ Character:

Mara feels like a well-evolved character, from carrying storms of unrest and remorse to being a free wild spirit. Leon serves as a support for her journey to inner awakening. A kind, warm, and unfiltered personality allowing her transformation to feel organic.

The everyday characters Mara meets, like the violinist or bus driver, enhance the theme of quiet wisdom in everyday encounters.

📜Dialogue and Pacing:

Dialogue is sparse and precise but fits the theme of the story of inner awakening, which doesn't need much dialogue but rather a clear and concise view of the characters' inner thoughts.

The dialogues feel natural and poetic, advancing emotional intimacy without excess words. Although the pacing could be altered a bit, for example:

“There were no enemies left to outrun.”
“No desperate search for truth…”

This is true but feels abstract. You can show this realization in one ordinary moment instead of summarizing it.

Also, the ending is beautiful but too complete; absolute peace can sometimes feel closed-off. Leaving readers with something to linger on could be powerful—perhaps she’s grown into a better version of herself but remains imperfect.

For example,

And under the open cosmos, Mara stepped into herself.
not finished,
not perfected,
but awake—and still unfolding.

Just a suggestion, although it's fine as it is.

Final Thoughts:

This is a beautiful piece filled with vivid, stunning imagery and rich sensory detail, capturing the journey of inner awakening from despair and regret to becoming a free, wild spirit—an awakened version of oneself.

So, that’s it! Keep writing—you’re on a good pace.

Warm regards,
Robrayl (AJ)


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3
Review of Election Speech  Open in new Window.
Review by Robrayl Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review of "The Election Speech" by Ravi Ranjan Goswami.

Hello, Ravi. I am Robrayl and it's my pleasure to have read your story.

My review of your story is as follows: ("These are my own opinions and do not reflect the views of all readers.")

📋Relatable or not:

The story captures the universal feeling of nervousness related to facing something unfamiliar, such as public speaking, and the practical struggles related to treading through new experiences.

The situation of Balu being apprehensive about giving a speech and subsequently resorting to buying a prepared speech is quite relatable; it creates a sense of tension in the air when elections are near.

🍀The Setting and Atmosphere:

The story’s setting is simple but effective. The mention of the Knowledge Bookstore and the election preparation details creates a small-town, grassroots political atmosphere.

However, the addition of sensory details, such as what the bookstore looked and felt like, the campaign materials, or the surroundings of Balu, would really enhance immersion and vividness.

🧙‍♂️ Character:

Balu is presented as a relatable, earnest candidate facing a new challenge. The president of the party, Chhotalal, and the shopkeeper play functional roles; they help advance the story but could have more distinctive traits or personality for deeper engagement-for instance, the shopkeeper's dry humor or Chhotalal's style of leadership.

📜Dialogue and Pacing:

The dialogue is clear and serves well to convey plot and character intentions. Still, it could be more lively with a bit more emotion or texture in how the characters speak. For example, hesitation, humor, or touches of local dialect in exchanges would make them feel more natural and memorable.

Final Thoughts:

This story delivers a slice-of-life moment with clarity and a touch of humor. With some tightening of prose for pace and more vivid dialogue and setting details, it could become even more engaging and relatable. It has a natural storytelling voice and an appealing premise—keep developing your style and scenes like this!

So, that’s it! Keep writing—you’re on a good pace.

Warm regards,
Robrayl


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4
Review by Robrayl Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review of "The Men from Macon" by Daisan.

Hello, Daisan. I am robrayl and it's my pleasure to have read your story.

My review of your Story is as follows: ("These are my own opinions and do not reflect the views of all readers.")

📋Relatable or not:

Although the world in this story may be unfamiliar to me and many readers today, its themes have a universal appeal. Cole’s resilience, vigilance, and underlying fear in the face of greater, more dangerous forces are feelings and instincts that most can relate to, whether through personal experience or empathy. The portrayal of survival and the ability to adapt or code-switch is especially striking and authentic.

🍀The Setting and Atmosphere:

The setting is well-drawn; the shelter, service station, and other more-subtle markers of rural Georgia in an earlier era are painted with care. The environment has a lived-in feel to it. There's tension in the air throughout the scenes: the shadow of the shelter, the heat and sweat described, the almost pulsating anxiety as Cole keeps his right hand close to his pocketed Shiv. Proper use of words and dialogue allows the reader to picture the scenes effortlessly.

🧙‍♂️ Character

Cole is a layered, complex character, shaped by a past of prison time, survival skills, and everyday struggles that influence everything he says and does now. The Macon men are depicted with enough specificity to set each apart, their sense of menace arising more from implication—rooted in both spoken words and deliberate silences—than from overt displays of aggression.

The interplay between the two factions—Cole and his restrained associates on one side, and the Macon men with their entrenched hierarchy on the other—is conveyed with a strong sense of realism, every exchange defined by a subtle yet continually evolving balance of power.

📜Dialogue and Pacing:

Though challenging for newcomers to the English language due to the dialect and local tone, the dialogue is sharp, natural, and vividly evocative of the story’s era and region. The choice to write dialect without caricature adds weight and authenticity.

Conversations move the plot forward, introducing stakes, background, and the constant threat looming over Cole and the others. The interactions among the Macon men reveal both camaraderie and mistrust, cleverly showing how violence always simmers just beneath the surface.

The pacing works well overall. The story moves smoothly between moments of quiet tension and action, giving the reader time to settle in but also keeping things engaging. If anything, you might consider breaking up some of the longer paragraphs a bit, especially when emotions run high or when important dialogue happens.

Final Thoughts:

"The Men From Macon" is a tense, atmospheric story that is driven by its characters, dialogue, and real-life experiences. The world you have created feels both specific and timeless, with a strong, true central voice. It would be tighter still, with some minor refinements for pace and deepening Cole's personal dimension.

So, that's it! Keep writing—you're on a good pace.

Warm regards,
Robrayl


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5
5
Review by Robrayl Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of "The world is too much for me" by Someone.

Hello, someone. I am robrayl and it's my pleasure to have read your story.

My review of your poem is as follows: ("These are my own opinions and do not reflect the views of all readers.")

📋 Relatable or not:

The poem captures a universal feeling of struggle, loneliness, and survival—something many can relate to, as we’ve all faced or are facing hardships in our lives.

The poem’s shift from despair to gratitude is powerful, with vivid memories of hunger and hardship contrasting beautifully against the warmth of newfound security and peace.

✒️ Poetic Form and Flow:

Your Poem uses free verse style, with clear and evocative language. It takes the reader on a steady journey from past struggles to present hope.

It's clever of you to add impactful lines like "“No matter the prayers or the cries / No man or woman ever came up to me” effectively conveys isolation and desperation.

As poems are not my strong suit, I can only offer a few suggestions, like making small tweaks in phrasing to smoothen the flow.

For example,

Stealing to survive, running away faster
No one could catch up to me
Taste of chapatti, was enough to drive me crazy
A bowl of white rice, enough to make my mouth watery
Chunky sweet snicker chocolates
Worth more than gold to me


For smoother flow. Perhaps consider the below line:

Stealing to survive, running away free,
No one could catch me, fleeing endlessly.
Taste of chapatti, a flavor so savory,
A bowl of white rice, enough to make my mouth watery.
Chunky sweet snicker chocolates,
Worth more than gold to me.

It’s just a personal suggestion—you don’t need to change it. If it works as it is, that’s perfectly fine since it’s free verse.

🍀 Imagery and Atmosphere:

The sensory details—the taste of chapatti, the warmth of a shower, the companionship of a stray kitten—create a vivid reality that feels almost tangible.

Adding a few more sensory or emotional touches to key moments could heighten immersion; for instance, capturing the sounds of the street or the texture of the kitten’s fur could add richer layers to the poem.

🌟 Emotional Arc and Themes:

The poem’s path from hardship to survival and gratitude forms an uplifting emotional arc. The final stanzas carry a sincere sense of thankfulness and strength, honoring resilience while acknowledging past pain.

Lines like “A lonely man who overcame the odds / Oh God, thank you for teaching me / To be strong in times of need” beautifully reflect the theme of growing through adversity.

Final Thoughts:

This poem’s strength lies in its raw honesty and evocative imagery. Your mix of selective rhyme and free verse flexibility works well, though adjusting certain lines for smoother rhyme and also experimenting with line breaks can deepen reader engagement.

So, that’s it! Keep writing—you’re on a good pace.

Warm regards,
Robrayl


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6
Review of The Muses  Open in new Window.
Review by Robrayl Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of The Muse's Garden by Ra M.

Hello, Ra M. I am robrayl, and it's my pleasure to have read your story.

My review of your story is as follows: ("These are my own opinions and do not reflect the views of all readers.")


📋 Relatable or not:

Honestly, I had to read the poem a few times to really understand what it was trying to convey, and I think that's part of the magic. The way it describes creativity is wonderfully strange and captivating—each stanza feels like a new layer of how it feels to make something. Usually, I avoid using complex vocabulary in my own work because I want even someone new to the language to connect with what I write.

The vocabulary in this poem wasn't too heavy, but I did find it a bit confusing at first—which, I realize now, fits perfectly with the theme. Creativity itself is confusing, unpredictable, and sometimes frustrating, but also so rewarding. This poem really nailed that rollercoaster of emotions. Anyone who’s ever tried to create—whether a painting, a song, or a story—will definitely connect with the ups and downs captured here. The whole point was to describe creativity in a creative way, and it did that brilliantly.


✒️ Poetic Form and Flow:

I absolutely love how you’ve used the word “Like” throughout the poem—it creates a wonderful, rhythmic effect. That repetition pulls the reader in and holds their attention from start to finish.

The way you play with the senses in lines like “smelling noises” and “listening to sights” is just fantastic, perfectly capturing that bizarre, magical mindset when creativity really takes over.

The poetic flow is both bizarre and magical—just like the mental state when you’re deep in a creative zone. The repetition of “Like” really anchors the poem’s rhythm. I did notice that a few of the line breaks, especially in the final stanza, interrupted the flow a bit. For example:

Like,
curating your own being
watering your wild garden,
sticking to the roots
of your truth.
knowing the end
before the beginning

Maybe consider rephrasing it to give it even more impact—something like:

Like,
curating your own being,
watering your wild garden,
sticking to the roots of your truth—
and knowing the end before the beginning.

Of course, these are just small tweaks—the poem still works beautifully as it is!

🍀 Imagery and Metaphor:

The images you use are just incredible. You've packed so much into this poem, from nature to daily life, and it all works together beautifully. The image of the "wild garden" is a perfect way to bring everything full circle.

But what really sticks with me are the lines about "choosing which footsteps / can enter the mind" and "sticking to the roots / of your truth." It's a great reminder that being creative isn't just about waiting for ideas to hit you; it's about being in control of your own mind and staying true to yourself.


Final Thoughts:

"The Muse's Garden" is a powerful, honest, and truly beautiful poem. It's a deep dive into what creativity really feels like, and you've managed to make a big, abstract idea feel real and personal.

So, that's it! Keep writing—you're on a good pace.

Warm regards,
Robrayl


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7
7
Review by Robrayl Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of A Wonder in the Woods by Tani Ilves

Hello, Tani Ilves. I am robrayl and it's my pleasure to have read your story.

My review of your story is as follows: ("These are my own opinions and do not reflect the views of all readers.")

📋 Relatable or not:

The supernatural parts of your story obviously aren’t something we run into in real life — but the emotions behind them are. The feeling of being completely in awe of nature, the peace found in solitude, and the quiet, nervous excitement of sharing a deeply personal experience with someone you care about are all incredibly well-captured and relatable.

🍀 Setting and Atmosphere:

The atmosphere you've crafted is magical and serene. Your opening instantly sets the mood — I loved the forest at twilight being described as a “single symphony.” You masterfully transition from a natural, peaceful setting to a truly supernatural one.

I also appreciate the detail of the new moon, which emphasizes the theme of seeking light and wonder in the darkness.

🧙‍♂️ Characters:

The narrator feels deeply connected to the woods, almost in a spiritual way, and that came across right from the start. I liked how Helga balanced the narrator — her fear, shaped by her city background, makes her later childlike wonder feel really genuine and earned.

The lynx at the end serves as a great, silent character. It grounds the magical experience with a moment of real-world wonder.

📜 Dialogue and Pacing:

The pacing is slow on purpose, and it works — the atmosphere has space to grow and settle in. The dialogue between the narrator and Helga feels natural, even sweet at times. Their little moment of tossing their watches into the backpack was charming — it showed their shared excitement in such a simple way.

However, a few of the longer, more philosophical sentences feel a bit formal and could be broken up for better flow. For example: "The innate fear of darkness in many people has always seemed strange to me. The darkness around you cannot cause harm; it is much safer than the darkness within — perhaps people are more afraid of it, because it lives in so many of them constantly, while the external darkness reigns only at night."

This section, while insightful, reads more like an essay than part of the story. It might blend even better if broken up and woven more into the narrator’s lived experience.

Final Thoughts:

Your story feels like a modern fairy tale — beautiful, vivid, and moving. I was drawn in by the imagery and stayed for the emotional weight of the characters’ journey. With just a little tightening here and there, especially around the longer reflective lines, the flow would be even smoother.

But even as it stands, this is a wonderful and memorable piece.

So, that's it! Keep writing—you're on a good pace.

Warm regards,
Robrayl


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Review of The Yellow wall  Open in new Window.
Review by Robrayl Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of The Yellow Wall by imaginestuff

Hello, imaginestuff. I am robrayl, and it's my pleasure to have read your story.

My review of your story is as follows: ("These are my own opinions and do not reflect the views of all readers.")


📋 Relatable or not:

While the subject matter is intense and not personally relatable to me in a literal sense, the emotions are. The overwhelming fear, the desperate need to survive, and the enduring bond between a mother and son are powerful and universal themes. The story taps into the primal human instinct to fight for life and the deep emotional connections that can motivate us even in our darkest moments.

I can see this story being closely relatable to anyone who has overcome a significant and terrifying challenge.


🍀 Setting and Atmosphere:

The atmosphere you've created is tense and claustrophobic. The "dark, cold fall night" and the "oppressive frigid tunnel" of the forest feel like a character in themselves, an additional threat Sarah must face. You’ve used sensory details—the burning gash, the feeling of cold, and the sound of a snapping twig—to place the reader directly in Sarah's shoes.

The abrupt shift from the dark forest to the "bright room with white walls" in the hospital creates a stark and effective contrast, highlighting the shift from terror to a fragile safety. This contrast underscores the emotional journey of both Sarah and David.


🧙‍♂️ Characters:

Your portrayal of Sarah is raw and powerful. Her desperation and resilience are palpable. Her internal monologue, filled with both terror and determination, makes her feel incredibly real. The shift in her motivation from pure survival to the thought of her son is a particularly poignant and effective moment.

The characterization of the villain as an unnamed "monster" is also effective. By not giving him a name or backstory, you keep him a faceless, primal source of evil, which makes him even more terrifying.

David is also a compelling character. His innocence and confusion contrast with the horrific events, and his quiet struggle to understand what happened is heartbreaking. The detail of him holding his teddy bear adds a layer of tender vulnerability.


📜 Dialogue:

The pacing of the chase scene is excellent. The short, breathless sentences mirror Sarah’s panic, and the sudden quiet moments build a palpable sense of dread. The dialogue is sparse but impactful. The villain’s lines, like "Saaaaarraaaahhh..." feel chillingly authentic.

The shift to the second part of the story, though, felt a little jarring. The philosophical monologue about "rooms" and their meaning, while interesting, pulls the reader out of the immediate, tense narrative. You could try to integrate this theme more subtly, perhaps through David's or Sarah's observations, without the direct, expository prose.

For example, instead of the paragraph about rooms, you could have started the second part directly from David's perspective, letting the different settings of the police station and hospital room tell the story of hope and healing on their own.

Final Thoughts:

"The Yellow Wall" is a gripping story of survival and the powerful bond between a mother and her child. Your writing is excellent at building tension and creating a strong sense of place and emotion. The first half of the story is particularly strong and a masterclass in suspense.

While the second part could be integrated more smoothly, the emotional core of the story remains powerful and deeply moving.

So, that's it! Keep writing—you're on a good pace.

Warm regards,
Robrayl


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9
Review of Hermes' Birth.  Open in new Window.
Review by Robrayl Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of Mythology of Hermes Birth by JU-JU

Hello, JU-JU. I am robrayl and it's my pleasure to have read your story.

My review of your story is as follows: ("These are my own opinions and do not reflect the views of all readers.")

📋Relatable or not:

"I'm not very familiar with Greek mythology, aside from what I've picked up through games and movies. However, if there's one thing that stands out, it's the sheer chaos that seems to run through its veins-and I can genuinely feel that energy here.

You truly brought Hermes' mischievous spirit to life. His wit, cleverness, and irreverent attitude made him an absolute delight to read. It felt authentic to the myths while still brimming with your unique voice, which added a refreshing charm.

🍀setting and Atmosphere:

"The way you painted the world with the tortoise, the cows, and the cave made it so easy to imagine Hermes weaving through it all. I could really picture every little detail, and it felt alive.

I would’ve loved just a bit more sensory depth when Hermes was stealing the cows.

"He hid the cows in a nearby meadow."

You could expand it bit more.

"He drove the cows to a nearby meadow, thick with tall grass and the sweet scent of wildflowers, hiding them where even Apollo's sharp eyes wouldn’t spot them."

You’re really good at quick visuals, so a touch more could deepen the mood.

🧙‍♂️Characters:

"I absolutely loved your portrayal of Hermes. You captured his mischievous, bratty, yet oddly endearing personality so perfectly.

Apollo's temper was brilliant too. He can often come across as rigid, but you gave him the vibe of an exasperated older sibling trying to wrangle Hermes' antics, and it worked beautifully.

Hermes' line, ‘I didn't steal any cows. I've been here the entire time!’ was such a highlight. I loved how you showed him pretending to be scared and innocent-it felt so true to his trickster nature. You didn’t overplay it, which made his subtle manipulation even more enjoyable to read.

⚔️Tension:

The tension between Hermes, Apollo, and Zeus was written in a fun, light way without losing the stakes. Apollo’s anger, Hermes’ fake innocence, and Zeus’ tired dad energy were all spot-on.

Adding, a little more emotional build-up (like Apollo’s growing frustration or Hermes' sneaky panic) would make their interactions even sharper.

I would have appreciated a bit more depth in Maia's character. Given her pivotal role in the myth, it would’ve been interesting to see her thoughts and feelings on the situation, especially with Zeus' abandonment.\

📜Dialogue:

The dialogue was super natural and easy to follow. It felt playful but not silly, which fits Hermes perfectly. A couple lines could be tightened up to make them hit harder, but overall, it had a nice flow.

For example,

"Oh, you mean this lyre, well, I guess, you'll be better at it than I anyhow," he said, passing it to him.

This line could be made a little punchier by cutting out extra words:
“Oh, this lyre? Sure, you’ll probably be better at it anyway,”

But maybe that’s just your style, and honestly, that’s totally fine. You don’t need to change anything unless you feel it could make the writing better or truer to what you want to convey.

Final Thoughts

Overall, this was a super fun, fresh take on Hermes' story. I loved the playful tone you kept even when serious stuff was happening. A little more depth in character emotions and sensory moments could make it even better.

But honestly, it’s still already great the way it is.


So, that’s it! Keep writing—you’re on a good pace.

Warm regards,
Robrayl


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10
10
Review of A Dirty Canvas—  Open in new Window.
Review by Robrayl Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review of a Dirty Canvas by Rhea.

Hello, Rhea. I am robrayl and it's my pleasure to have read your story :)

My review of your story is as follows: ("These are my own opinions and do not reflect the views of all readers.")

📋Relatable or not:

The poem is not personally relatable to me, as I have not experienced self-harm or violence in any way. However, I can empathize with your depiction of societal stigma. The judgmental thoughts of society, the forced smile to conceal pain, and the fear of being judged as an attention seeker, weak, or misunderstood - all of these resonate deeply.

I can see it being closely relatable to anyone who's struggled with self-image, mental health, or feeling misunderstood.

✒️Poetic Form and Flow:

Your Poem falls into the category of free verse (confessional poetry) along with Modern, raw, sensory driven stylistic traits. The fragmented lines mirror the scattered thoughts of someone trapped inside spiraling emotions. There are no grammar or spelling issues that distract from the experience.

"a smile small, / a voice smaller."
The progression here is precise in its simplicity.

Maybe adding a few breaths pauses-like a single line of ellipses or even a word like "Suffocating" could make the emotions hit even harder. Those moments of stillness could feel like the poem itself is gasping for air, mirroring the mental collapse it describes.

🍀Setting and Atmosphere:

The atmosphere feels so heavy and intense, and which captures the heart of the subject perfectly. You’ve brought it to life through pure sensation: the smell of blood," "the dirty canvas," "scratched skin," "paper-thin concern" instead of telling the reader directly what to feel. That’s commendable

🧙‍♂️Characters:

The narrator feels heartbreakingly real. Readers never learn their name, and they don't need to. Their pain is universal enough to stand in for thousands of silent struggles. The contrast between narrator raw emotions and others' cold, performative concern is so powerful.

lines like "how neatly they dress their disgust / in paper-thin concern" are striking. But I guess, adding more sensory details could make the emotions even more vivid.

For example,
Texture of the air, the sounds of their surroundings, scent of blood, etc. could heighten the intensity of those moments even further. It would draw the reader deeper into their experience and make those emotions almost tangible.

📜 Final Lines:

The last few lines are stunning, but they feel a bit rushed after such a heavy, emotional journey. Giving the ending just a little more breathing room-an extra line or two, could make the final moments linger, letting the weight of the story fully settle.

For example,
Instead of stopping at "outlive the artist’s regret," you might add something like:

"Outlive the artist’s regret. Even if she still carries the scar. Even if it still burns in the sun.

Of course, you don’t have to use "scar" or "burn" again but something that honors the pain that remains, even when survival wins.

Just an idea :)

Final thoughts

The Dirty Canvas is deeply raw and vulnerable, and that’s where its power lies. It lays the pain bare without trying to soften it, and that kind of honesty is truly courageous.

Your writing is raw and gripping-it holds the reader tight. Maybe, a few tweaks to pacing or added sensory details could enhance it, but even as it is, it’s unforgettable and deeply moving.

So, that’s it! Keep writing—you’re on a good pace.

Warm Regards,
Robrayl


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Review of Nature's Miracles  Open in new Window.
Review by Robrayl Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Review of NATURE'S MIRACLES by SONALI.

Hello, Sonali. I am robrayl and it's my pleasure to have read your story :)

My review of your story is as follows: ("These are my own opinions and do not reflect the views of all readers.")

📋Relatable or not:

This poem gave me instant “storybook” feels. It has nature themed mystery adventure designed to spark curiosity among young readers, or child within us.

The playful rhyme and rhythm set the inviting and light-hearted tone to poem, while also managing to sneak in big, philosophical ideas about the natural world.

"There is a mystery that is most mysterious | So our strategy will have to be ingenious”

Right from the very start, the poem seems to come alive with its playful rhythm and cleverness.

✒️Poetic Form and Flow

Structurally, you've essentially honored the rhyme scheme, a task very difficult with all those stanzas. Every stanza speaks in a self-sufficient way while adding to the entire odyssey. Those said, just turn a few odd corners for better rhythm or clarity.

For example,

“To solve this, without to-do or fuss”

This line slightly disrupts the rhythm. Perhaps consider the below line:

"To solve this mystery without much fuss"

ALSO

"and find clues, so very precious."

The "So" there seems a bit odd in tone compared to the rest of the stanza. Perhaps consider the below line:

"and find clues, truly precious."

🍀Setting and Atmosphere

The forest setting and the journey of exploration give it a cozy, adventurous energy.

“We listened and we looked around / We caught each sight and each sound”

This line is lovely, it gives a sensory dimension to the exploration, grounding the reader in the space.

Still, it might be even more engaging with a few more vivid, nature-specific details, like for example. What did the trees look like? Was there birdsong?

🧙‍♂️Characters:

The baby elephant is an inspired choice-there’s something inherently charming and wise in giving voice to young animals. The variety of questions really captures that curiosity, almost like a child asking, “Why is the world the way it is?” Pairing that sense of wonder with the natural world and its creatures makes it even more endearing.

Lines like “Who asked us why baby piggies grunt / and why tiger cubs are taught to hunt”

Are so clever, the way you frame real-world animal behavior as a part of mystery is endearing. This would probably work beautifully in a children’s anthology or educational setting

📜 Final Lines:

The final stanza is quiet profound.

“You, yourself, from top to toe / Are nature's child, and as you grow / Nature's adult - that is so!”

This closing ties it all together. It's a gentle but empowering message, reminding us that we are not separate from nature, but part of its continuum.

But, ending with “that is so” feels a bit abrupt and slightly flat, especially after such a lyrical journey.

I Suggest you tweak it a bit with lines like,

“Nature's adult - Part of nature’s endless flow.”

OR

"Nature's adult - “Part of nature’s endless flow.”

Final thoughts

This poem is such a charming mix of playfulness and thoughtful insight. It feels like something everyone, young or old, could enjoy. With just a bit of refining and maybe a sprinkle of sensory details to bring the imagery to life, it’s easy to imagine it featured in a picture book or a children’s magazine.

So, that’s it! Keep writing—you’re on a good pace.

Warm Regards,
Robrayl


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Review by Robrayl Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Review of Vivian montrale by AsHIynN

Hello, AsHIynN. I am robrayl and it's my pleasure to have read your story

My review of your story is as follows:

📋 Relatable or not:

Vivian's voice is raw and haunted, pulling you into her world with every word. The pain feels genuine, not dramatized, and her resilience makes you cheer for her. I really admire the courage and the way she fights to stay true to herself. It's something that stays with you, even after the story ends.

🍀setting and Atmosphere:

The grove has a wonderful atmosphere. The way the twisty trees and gentle hum pull you in makes it feel alive, mysterious, and a little scary. Each chapter adds a quiet heaviness that makes the reader feel the stakes. Still, sometimes a bit clearer detail during the tense moments could really help readers to grasp what's going on.

⚔️ Conflict:

The story is filled with tension. The mix of the grove’s strange pull, Vivian’s troubled past, and the growing supernatural threat makes her struggle feel nearly impossible—but that’s what makes it so engaging. The clash between her own inner world and these larger forces gives real weight to her choices. One suggestion for improvement is to make the stakes even clearer. like Sometimes, diving deeper into the specific choices Vivian faces would strengthen the impact of her battle between free will and the pull of the grove.

🎭 Characters:

Vivian feels like a real person—flawed, layered, and completely compelling. Mason grounds her in a way that feels honest and necessary, and their connection really works. The ghostly girl is creepy in the best way, and Pastor Elias leaves a strong impression. I do think a few of the side characters could use a bit more fleshing out—especially Vivian’s mother. Given how much her childhood trauma shapes the story, it feels like we’re missing a deeper look at her mother’s role in it all. A little more clarity there could really raise the emotional stakes.

📜 Dialogue:

The dialogue really fits the mood—mysterious, tense, sometimes chilling. A lot of the lines feel real and keep the story moving, especially with how consistent Vivian’s voice is. That said, there are a few moments where the dialogue leans a little too much into explanation. It works, but once in a while it pulls you out of the scene just a bit. If those parts were trimmed or made a little snappier, it’d feel even more natural.

Final thoughts

To me, this is a slow-burn psychological horror that really knows what it’s doing. The blend of mystery, trauma, and supernatural elements is creepy in all the right ways. The imagery sticks with readers, and Vivian makes for a strong, compelling lead. Vivian Montrale is tense, unsettling, and honestly hard to look away from. It feels like things are just starting to unravel.

That said, a little more clarity around the bigger stakes and some deeper character development (especially for the side characters) could take it to the next level. There's so much promise here, and it’s already gripping. With just a few tweaks, it could be amazing.

So, that’s it! Keep writing—you’re on a good pace.

Warm Regards,
Robrayl


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Review by Robrayl Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)

Review of Sample opening chapter by STaS

Hello, STaS. I am robrayl and it's my pleasure to have read your story.

My review of your story is as follows:

*Clipboard* Relatable or not:

The protagonist's terror is raw exhaustion, weakening limbs, and sheer panic. The toll of the chase shows in burning lungs and trembling legs. However, hinting at the pursuer's nature, even as a mystery, could heighten the tension further.


*Tree2* setting and Atmosphere:

The story plunges the reader into a nightmare chase, with thick fog and eerie lighting suffocating them in dread. Vivid imagery—the broken lamppost, creeping shadows, and ghostly mist—enhances the feeling of entrapment. The setting isn't just a backdrop; it amplifies the terror.

*Swords* Tension:

The relentless pacing mirrors the protagonist’s desperation. The repeated imagery of time stretching and gasping breaths heightens the suspense. Each moment feels prolonged, reinforcing helplessness. However, concise breaks in dense sentences could sharpen the impact.

*Scroll* Dialogue:

The prose pulls you in but needs a few tweaks. Some sentences are long and complex, which slows the reading pace despite the scene's urgency. Breaking them into shorter, punchier lines could intensify the action. Small adjustments will enhance readability.

Final thoughts

Sample chapter one is an intense, atmospheric horror piece that effectively captures the terror of being hunted by an unseen force. With slight tweaks to sentence structure and clarity, it could become even more gripping. The buildup is excellent, and the final moment, where the shadow emerges, lands with chilling impact.

So, that’s it. Keep on writing; you're on a good pace.

Warm regards,
Robrayl


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Review of Lilly's Christmas  Open in new Window.
Review by Robrayl Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review of Lilly’s Christmas by Charles prier

Hello, Charles. I am robrayl and it's my pleasure to have read your story{/font}.

My review of your story is as follows:

*Clipboard* Relatable or not:

Lilly's voice is genuine and understated, making her a deeply sympathetic character. Despite her hardships, she finds warmth in small moments, and the anticipation of Christmas adds a sense of hope to the story.

*Tree3* setting and Atmosphere:

Decorating the Christmas tree, baking cookies, and listening to carolers create a nostalgic, cozy holiday atmosphere that immerses the reader in the festive spirit. Although I've never experienced Christmas, I can understand the festive atmosphere created by decorating the tree, baking cookies, and listening to carolers.

*Swords* Conflict:

The Foster family's kindness contrasts with Miss Agnes's cold demeanor, adding depth to the story. Lilly, treated better than before but still seen as a "servant," faces struggle. This conflict makes her joy at an unexpected Christmas gift even more touching.

*Prince* Characters :

While Lilly is well-developed, Missis and Mister Foster could use more depth. They're kind but distant and adding details about their feelings toward Lilly could strengthen the emotional connection.

*Scroll* Dialogue:

The dialogue moves the story forward but sometimes feels stiff. For example, Luke's question about Santa and the chimney could be more childlike. Varying speech patterns would help differentiate characters' voices.

Final thoughts

This heartwarming holiday story balances hardship with hope. The final scene of joy feels well-earned. Adding more character depth and natural dialogue would elevate it further, but Lilly’s Christmas is already a memorable and touching read.


So, that’s it! Keep writing—you’re on a good pace.

Warm regards,
Robrayl


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