I’ve often wondered what it would be like living in one of these types of spaces… I love when poetry gives me a glimpse into human life totally different and foreign to mine. I enjoyed getting a little view of your world, thank you for sharing.
This poem has such a gorgeous, visceral opening- that image of honey coating the tongue and dripping to the bones is so sensual and healing, and the idea of it "gluing the cracked pieces" together is really powerful.
If I had to add a suggestion, I might say the middle could be tightened slightly. The lines about the shield that "gnaws on kindness" and will "devour you as well" feel a bit abstract compared to the physical imagery you start with. Maybe you could try leaning more into that body/physical metaphor throughout and see what happens?… like how does this person's touch actually feel against that armor? What does it look like when kindness gets "gnawed on"?
I thought the ending was perfect, looping back to the namesake and"my fragile skin" brings us right back to that intimate, physical vulnerability from the beginning.
I love how you contrast the fairy tale expectations we grew up with against the reality of searching faces "marred by time and experience" that mirror your own. That's such an honest, relatable moment.
The three "that woman" sections work well to show the different ways we imagine our future selves, though I'd suggest maybe tightening up the language a bit.. some phrases like "chains of fear and anxiety" and "ravages of time" feel a little cliche when the rest of your voice is so authentic and direct.
"letting hope and dreams dance in the limelight of possibility" is a lovely way to close it.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/samdoubleu
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 6:49pm on Sep 09, 2025 via server WEBX1.