Well, well.
Like they're asking "on the title". I'll be honest, encouraging, and respectful, although honesty has become a rare commodity.
Good news:
**Nice try in creating a "reading story". I've always thought, authors are special people.
** Some of the descriptions were "poetical":
(Soon we were surrounded by a darkness that covered everything but our lights.)
(Twenty four hours is a long time.)
** The writer, is trying to create something, imaginary, which is good, if it was put in the right presentation.
Bad news:
**I, humbly believe, that this story should have been placed under a different category. The spiritual contents, are minimal, and there is no clear description for them.
** I, strongly, urge the writer, to pay much more needed attention, to grammar, punctuation, proper nouns, possessives, figures of speech, etc. Red lines under words in the text, mean there is some thing wrong with that word. Those mistakes deprive the story of its real value.
** Although, the writer mentioned that he had a book to read, in the story, I think he needs to read more, a lot more, to get acquainted with composition, flow, plot, etc.in the real world.
Conclusion:
**Keep at it, read, write, compose, even if you received negative comments. If you have something to show, it will take some effort, and patience to achieve it, most of the great writers, did it the same way. Do not be discouraged, intimidated, or provoked, by any comment, whatsoever.
** Three good, three bad, this will put you in the middle. I hope I was fair enough, with you.
Hope to hear from you again.
All the best.
Sam
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