First Impression
This was slightly different from the other pieces I have read from you. It is funny and loving and immediately (almost) made me laugh, I don't know why. The piece was perfect. What you wanted to express was easily made known: that you had a sister when you were sixteen, she raised a son as a single mother, and you and your wife, who couldn't bear a child, watched over him like your own. This message was delivered loud and clear.

Suggestion/Errors
Nothing I observed needs correcting.

My Favourite Part
Here is my favourite part. It made me laugh. This family's so lucky! And blessed.
"He became the son to me my wife could never bare.
He has grown into a respectful young man who cares."


Overall Impression
Beautifully written and very touching. Thanks so much for sharing.

Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated. Keep it up; you're doing great!

Don't forget to drop by my new forum "The Friendship Forum"  or help raise GPs to save my membership and also win prizes for yourself at:"Invalid Item" 
Cheers and keep writing,
~Sarah
Proud Member of The Paper Gang.

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First Impression
Yeah!! I can totally relate to it! I had some ups and downs before. I simply enjoy the way you express yourself, Carl. Like you're so free and there's nothing there in your path to block your creativity. Have you even heard of such a thing as writers block? The way you write poetry suggests you don't know it.


Suggestion/Errors
Wait!! I want to clarify with you something.
"Like a See/Saw I've climbed only to fall."
Shouldn't "See/Saw" be spelled as "see-saw"? Or are there TWO ways of spelling it?

My Favourite Part
"I get so tired of fighting it in every way.
Will I ever destroy this haunting one day."
Because I totally understand how you feel.


Overall Impression
This was a beautiful, creative and expressive piece. I always believed that good poetries are those that are deep, expressive and those that don't break. You seem to have done a good job with it. Ever published a piece before? The way you write suggests it.

Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated. Keep it up; you're doing great!

Don't forget to drop by my new forum "The Friendship Forum"  or help raise GPs to save my membership and also win prizes for yourself at:"Invalid Item" 
Cheers and keep writing,
~Sarah
Proud Member of The Paper Gang.

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First Impression
Well, well, well! Isn't this just perfectly suitable for me? I can, like, totally relate to it! First of all, I AM a teen, and secondly, I DO like someone who obviously doesn't feel the same about me. Well, and what do you say? This was perfect! If I had been writing it (chances are zero to none but let's just say), it would probably be something like this except wouldn't be so good. You're a fantastic writer for teens, too, Carl.


Suggestion/Errors
I didn't see anything...

My Favourite Part
"Your body feels like a raging fire.
Quivering from its burning desire."
Talk about passion! Hell, this was great. Nice job impressing me.


Overall Impression
Lovely! i can't think of a better way to write it than you did... maybe you should think about writing more stuff like this (like teens).

Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated. Keep it up; you're doing great!

Don't forget to drop by my new forum "The Friendship Forum"  or help raise GPs to save my membership and also win prizes for yourself at:"Invalid Item" 
Cheers and keep writing,
~Sarah
Proud Member of The Paper Gang.

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First Impression
Ah, so the typical vampire thing now, is it? This was very interesting. Typical, like I put it, but well-written. Only someone like you could have written something as well as this! :D

Suggestion/Errors
I double-checked to see but no, you didn't make a mistake, so far as I could see. Good job, Koyel.

My Favourite Part
"She wanders in the dead of night,
Her sparkling white fangs crave to bite,"
Scary! *screams* No, I'm just kidding. This was deep and imaginable, and very capturing. I feel the start of the piece is usually the most important thing, considering the fact that this is what determines whether your reader wants to finish it or not.


Overall Impression
Loved it! And yet again, Koyel impresses me. You're a truly talented poet! Glad to have known you.

Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated. Keep it up; you're doing great!

Don't forget to drop by my new forum "The Friendship Forum"  or help raise GPs to save my membership and also win prizes for yourself at:"Invalid Item" 
Cheers and keep writing,
~Sarah
Proud Member of The Paper Gang.

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First Impression
I tremendously liked this piece. It was very creatively and beautifully written. I don't think anyone could have written something as well as you did. Especially this part,
"Must I dream until you're back with me?
I'll sleep all my life it's you I want to see."
Very capturing, my friend. Sometimes, these are the little things that make your piece the center of attention.
This wasn't an easy piece to write but you did it anyway.


Suggestion/Errors
There's something here I want to clear with you. When you say, "Every night I pray I will see you alright.", I saw a problem. As I was taught before, "alright" is really spelled as "all right." Is there, perhaps, another way you spell it?


My Favourite Thing
Hmmm.... This is a very tricky one. I can't decide. Everything was good, so don't fret. I liked everything.

Overall Impression/Final Thoughts
This piece was made with perfection. The title is very clever and witty; it really summarizes what you're going on about. A masterpiece. Wonderful, Carl!

Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated. Keep it up; you're doing great!

Don't forget to drop by my new forum "The Friendship Forum"  or help raise GPs to save my membership and also win prizes for yourself at:"Invalid Item" 
Cheers and keep writing,
~Sarah
Proud Member of The Paper Gang.

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First Impression
*screams* Oh my gawd, I loved it! It was so deep and passionate and very capturing. I liked when you said, "It beckons my heart to give you all that it can." best. That girl must be really lucky! What a kick!


Suggestion/Errors
It ran smooth and did not break. None of the words were misplaced. Everything was good and perfect. Nice job!

My Favourite Thing
The way you convey what you want to say. It makes your reader feel there is nothing hindering or blocking you. The whole thing went along with the flow. You made it beautiful.

Overall Impression
This was a truly lovely poem, Carl. You must have taken lots of time to make this perfect. I wouldn't know, though, as I'm no poetry writer, but I love reading it. Thanks for sharing.

Sarah

Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated. Keep it up; you're doing great!

Don't forget to drop by my new forum "The Friendship Forum"  or help raise GPs to save my membership and also win prizes for yourself at:"Invalid Item" 
Cheers and keep writing,
~Sarah
Proud Member of The Paper Gang.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Groups:
"Invalid Item" "The WDC Angel Army" 
"Invalid Item" 
"Open Door To Grace ♥" "Invalid Item" 
"Smile~Worldwide" 
"Invalid Item" "God's Way Group"