I myself am only a rookie so how you take my advice is up to you. I haven't written much and personally I'm here to learn more myself. That being said I like to contribute my share as well so here it is.
Seems you're off to a good start, you've chosen your subject, next thing to do is keep building on, which you say you will. Good, some tricks you might want to use is: Clustering: think about your subject, or a character, or an event (building your way down) and try to link certain things to it. Keep the items-name as short as possible. Try to make connections.
If you start of with your subject you can link it to characters; which are linked to events. Once you get deeper into your story you can take a new separate paper and start from your character or even more detailed from a certain event. Then link all the people you want involved, things that will happen and important details. Now you can implement parts of that back into older clusters like the one of your characters so you can build up history. How did person X get this kind of personality, or why is he in this situation that is now linked to your event or whatever...
Remember that when you first write a part it can feel perfect and then after a while, you know you just have to rewrite it, don't worry about that, practice makes perfect (or as close as possible), the more you'll write, the better you'll get. The deeper you get into a story the more exciting it gets.
Keeping a pocket journal with you all the time is also nice because you can then take notes every time you come up with a good idea (like say in the elevator or whatever random places you're at).
Another advice that I've read is to try and write every day a minimum amount of words (500?), once you've done this for a month, it'll be a habit. The advantage is that you don't have to use the material you write, but once and a while you'll have written out something good. You'll also find your weak spots easier. Whenever unsure you can post your stuff over here and maybe somebody can help you out!
First off I like to say you describe landscape very well and your skill is definitely usable in longer pieces. If we would know more about the story I think this would be fitting, but we don't get much other stuff. I read in a book about writing:
"Your fiction can be only as successful as the characters who move it and move within it."
They derived this from a quote from Henri Bergson in his essay on laughter:
". . . the comic does not exist outside the pale of what is strictly human. A landscape
may be beautiful, charming or sublime, or insignificant and ugly; it will
never be laughable."
I think this does not only apply to comedy but to all genres. I also think this is what your story lacks, moving of your characters. That being said I still think you did a proper description of a landscape, the next step is to evolve your character.
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