I think this is very good.
I'm sure it was emotional for you to write but I thank you for sharing such an uplifting piece with us.
You are really talented with your adjectives.
You have done a wonderful job writing this. I did not see any errors reading this and it kept my interest all the way through. For me a good story does that.
I realize ashamed is the name of the poem but it seems that the word is repetitve. Maybe you could use:humiliated or embarrassed.
It's hard to critique a poem that seem personal because I'm sure you are putting your feeling and emotions into it. Again you express yourself very well.
I thought this was very interesting.
Again you express your feelings well.
This sounds like a love for someone you met on the internet and your mom is trying to warn you to be careful. I have to agree, you have to be careful if it is someone whom you have never met before.
Anyway, I think you did a good job writing this. You have great imagery.
This is good.
You have some good descriptions here.
You seem to have a knack for song writing.
I think this one flows very well and the chorus is good.
My skin glistens under your touch- I like this sentence.
This is good.
I think you did a good job with your word choice.
I was wondering if you write the music for these too or just the words.
I don't have another suggestion for one but I think another title would be better, because I know there is another song with this title and I think there might be two.
Oh my. I have to say I really did not like the content of that song. But I think you did a good job writing it.
I like how you have the echos.
Is this suppose to be like heavy metal or alternative?
You did a good job writing this even if I disagree with the song
This is a great story. Great imagery througout. I think you have done a wonderful job writing this.
Mackenzie didn't know what to think of the immacurate home. It was three floors, a bathroom on each floor, six large bedrooms, a kitchen, living room, parlor, lobby, dining room, library, office, attic and basement.- this seems to be in the wrong place. She couldn't have noticed all of this just on her way upstairs to her room. Maybe you could describe the house a little bit as she is walking to the door.
without cringing about thinking about when the last time the tub.-{c:rose the last time the tub what?
before she ran off to that birthday part for her friend Morgan.- birthday party
What a great story. Very inspiring.
On the holidays we usually pray for the homeless but what you and your family did was take it a step further. Its great that there are people like you.
I'm sure those people couldn't thank you enough
I thought you did a good job writing this. I think you deserve the award you have on this item
Very nice. I think you have to be talented to write an acrostic that rhymes too. I think you did a nice job here. This too is a good one for children to read.
I thought the last line was very good.
I also like how you made the first letters orange to go with the theme.
Good Job
I think you did a good job writing this and have incorperated the titles in the story very well.
The story is pretty good.
I think you could introduce the friends a little better. I was reading it and a different girl's name came up every couple of sentences and it was a little confusing. The title suits the story well.
I thought this was very interesting. I was surprised to find the two boys in the beginning were in fact boys. For some reason I thought it was men. I think you did a good job writing this.
That is an interesting contest. I like how you wrote it all in dialogue. It was a little hard to tell who was speaking sometimes but the story came out very nicely.
This was a good story. I am assuming the green quotes are the quotes you had to use in the contest. You have incorperated them into the story very well.
It's funny the kinds of stories kids like to listen to these days especially before bed. I would probably have nightmares reading a story about a gnarled, old warlock lol.
I think this is great. You have wonderful imagery here.
This is a very interesting story, is it true?
whether it is or not I think you have written it well. It begins and ends great and the flow of the story is very good.
I especially liked the parts where you tell where you wear the wars.
Great Job!!!
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