This esssy touched my heart in a very personal way. When I had just turned 37 (and was complaining, of course that I was almost 40) I was diagnosed with a benign, but very large brain tumor (a meningioma--I'm sure you'll know what that is). I was given 2 weeks to live. My only option was a very dangerous surgery that gave me a 50/50 chance of survival and with the chance of all kinds of complications--if I survived the inital surgery.
Obviously I did survive, and have learned to live with the complication (seizures) and live a very rich and full life.
My point is, I didn't think anyone could ever understand--let alone capture--the essence of cherishing just being alive, of the privledge of growing old. Yet, you have done that very thing with this essay. I kept thinking as I was reading it, that is just how I feel, that's my thoughts, or as my old granny would say, you took the words right out of my mouth.
I hope everyone who reads this will appreciate what it has taken out of you personally to be as close to death as you were as a nurse and the effort it must have taken to put those feelings in print. It must have been like putting little pieces of your heart on paper to share Brandon with all of us.
It was a beautiful essay.I only pray that Brandon survives to read and appreciate it one day.
For # 1006606
I am new to this website but I love reviewing and would like to become a member of your group whenever it is possible.
My over all impression of this item was that it was easy to understand, as well as thorough.
I especially liked the way that each different section was color-coded. It helped when going back to search out a particular point to re-read.
Another aspect I liked was everything being double-spaced. When one has been staring at a computer screen for a while, things can start running together--or early in the morning, like I'm in the habit of doing.
What I liked best, however, was the fact that you not only titled each section for quick reference, but you listed the contributers along with the members.
You were encouraging reviewers to join, yet tastefully understated that fact. It certainly encouraged me to join.
I hope you will consider me for membership. Thanks, The Dixie Writer
Overall Impression--
I love Hiaku poetry so I read it every chance I get. This poem was so clearly understandable. The first line of each stanza could stand alone as a description of a season. What imagery!
Suggestions--
None. It's perfect as is.
What I liked best--
I loved the whole poem but that first stanza:
"Steel blue Winter dawn
Freezes twigs in crystal grip.
Far off smoke won't rise"
Encapsulized the essence of winter for me.
Also liked your symbolism of the Phoenix Pear.
I salute your talent. Wish I could write Hiaku like that. Keep'em coming. The Dixie Writer
I had to give this story a 5.0 (even though there was a couple of typos; one in the third sentence, you've got hat instead of that, another in the 8th para. you have effected instead of affected).
The storyline touched my heart in a way that only a daughter who's father often disappointed can.
The story itself was tightly structured. There were no "saggy" places where the plot meandered. The suspense was good. It kept me wondering--as it should have--who was this Luke? A husband? boyfriend? or father? It just seemed to peel off in the right layers.
The atmosphere came across great, as well. Good job. I enjoyed reading your story and would gladly read more of your works.
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