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Review by sj Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there, I like the idea expressed and the words are good for the subject. I would personally free it from its constricted rhyming couplet format as it is causing scansion problems. Why not try it in free verse, put line breaks whereever you feel they should go, then it would have better rhythm and the rhyme scheme would become internal and so more intriguing.
hope you don't mind that I have warbled on so long,
sally
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