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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/soniya_ahuja
Review Requests: OFF
244 Public Reviews Given
255 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like a good read. If your static item gets me hooked, I will provide a detailed review. I have set my profile to have at most 3 pending requests. However, please allow a time of 1 to 4 days from the time you submit a request for me to review your item. I travel where my work takes me and that could cause a delay. However I promise to write a review as soon as possible :)
I'm good at...
Critiquing poetic works Appreciating Imagery Providing constructive criticism Making suggestions for improvements A pat on the back :) All my comments are my opinion and they will vary from others' opinions
Favorite Genres
Horror Romance Sci Fi Anything fiction
Least Favorite Genres
Non Fiction
Favorite Item Types
Poems Short stories Items under three thousand words I love reading books however I enjoy them if they get me hooked up. Hence I can't promise book reviews. I will politely decline if I can't review multiple chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
Any item that will take me more than 20 minutes to finish one chapter
I will not review...
Crossword Puzzles
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of The Climb  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi King,

This is a lovely elegy. When one dies what's left behind are memories and grief. But to find strength in such time is a hard job. That's when God Almighty helps us - helps us collect ourselves and our faith in Him makes us believe that death is not the end of a life but the beginning of another more beautiful one.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
2
2
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
**This review is a reflection of my thoughts and my opinions only. Take the best and leave the rest *Smile***



*ThumbsUp* What I liked
         I had watched a video shared on Facebook and this short narrative took me back to those same visuals. The loss of sanity, the onset of the wish to go higher and upwards, the possession of the fungi as the tune hummed in the ant's head - these dramatizations are very beautiful.

*TrophyG* The best of the best
         I loved the closing -
Atop every plant were ants: my kin, posed as I was, their heads split open by sickly stems.
CRACK!

*Idea* What could be better
         I wish there was something between the horrific scene and the Crack at the end. Before the ant is all done for good. Something that shows a struggle between the ant's will and the will of the fungi. Since all other characteristics of the infiltration have been dramatized so well - it would have been even better to hear the two voices in the head :)

*AwarenessO* Suggestions/Comments
         I was lucky that I had watch this video a few months back on FB and a quick google search confirmed what I was looking for. However, most readers might not even know what the fungus is and what are its effects. It might do them some good if you include a few references or foot notes for the users to explore in order to understand the onset of the parasitic behavior.

Thanks for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it. It's a different perspective. A fresh read!

WRITE ON!
         

Great Endings have Humble Beginnings.
Shara

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
3
3
Review of Love So Far Apart  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
**This review is a reflection of my thoughts and my opinions only. Take the best and leave the rest *Smile***


Thanks for asking me to review your poem. I am not an expert reviewer but just a casual reader and I would love to share my thoughts but they are just my thoughts :)

*ThumbsUp* What I liked
         The poem is actually pretty intriguing. The contextual world of the two lovers is not crystal clear and in fact I love that. A reader is free to apply his/her imagination to this piece. The lovers could be separated physically by distance - work taking them to places away from each other. Or the lover could be dreaming of his lover who does not even exist and hence the distance. Or they could be together and yet grown apart mentally. This element of mystery helps a reader place himself in to the poem's context and read it through the subject's eyes.

*TrophyG* The best of the best
         I loved the closing couplet
I await the day I sense her soft caress upon my face.
And pray it's not in death 'til I can feel her warm embrace.
I think you can do away with the period on the first line of this couplet though but it doesn't make much of a difference

*Music2* The Rhythm and Rhyme
         Each stanza has a rhyme scheme of abab. Of course this renders a very rhythmic beat to the poem especially when one reads it out aloud. The rhyme scheme varies from one stanza to other and this makes it even better.

*Idea* What could be better
         Considering that the rhyme scheme, the number of lines, etc. are meant to render a very melodious beat to the poem - I feel that the number of syllables break this consistency of rhythm.
I have tried to list the number of syllables in each line. I counted quickly so a couple of them might be off. I apologize for that.
13 13 13 14 - 1st Stanza
14 11 13 17 - 2nd
14 13 15 16 - 3rd
14 15 15 14 - 4th

As you can see, the first and fourth stanzas are fairly well balanced and frankly speaking I loved the balance in the fourth stanza the best and the number of diphthongs and monophthongs are fairly well balanced. However as the syllable count varies greatly in the 2nd and 3rd stanza, when you read them aloud, you will find that the melody of those two stanzas is slightly crude when compared to the first or fourth stanza. If you can balance the number of syllables in those two stanzas as well, I think it will sound better :)

*AwarenessO* Suggestions/Comments
         I think there is a typo in the following line
But time, every growing, haunts my fears most intensely
do you mean "ever" growing and not every?

This was a beautiful poem and I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing it!

WRITE ON!
         

Great Endings have Humble Beginnings.
Shara

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
4
4
Review of A Dreams Reality  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
**This review is a reflection of my thoughts and my opinions only. Take the best and leave the rest *Smile***


*StarfishY* What I liked
         The story was a good read. For some reason the twist was something that I anticipated when I finished reading the first couple of lines.

*Glasses* What could be better
         The structure of the paragraphs. I believe you wrote this item for a contest perhaps. Hence you might have just written it as it came to your mind and didn't edit it later. However the formatting of the text is inconsistent and it gets in the way when a user is reading it. Not all paragraphs are indented. This could be fixed.
The pauses or ellipses have too many periods in them. Ellipses should have 3 periods followed by a space. Something that I learned on writing.com :)

I am also not sure if the last sentence needs to end in Ellipses. You can end it in a simple period and the impact will still be there.

*AwarenessO* Suggestions/Comments
         I loved the short read. Quite interesting actually. Keep writing good stuff like this :)

WRITE ON!
         

Great Endings have Humble Beginnings.
Shara

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
5
5
Review of Sin  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
**This review is a reflection of my thoughts and my opinions only. Take the best and leave the rest *Smile***


*StarfishY* What I liked
         I really liked the format of the poem. The descriptive lines go very well with each vice. I love the rhyme scheme aabb too. It gives it a great rhythm and makes in easier to read it in a sing song tone :)

*Glasses* What could be better
         In the lines
The original sin of vanity
Is most likely to challenge your sanity

If you remove Is or is most from the second line, the couplet makes a slightly better read without changing the meaning. The second line has 2 syllables more than first so dropping one or two syllables makes a better change when reading it aloud but again this is just my opinion. It is a good read even now :)

For the lines
Always determined to get more
Will cost you in this spiritual war

More and war don't exactly rhyme and this throws the rhyme scheme a little off for just this couplet when comparing it to the other stanzas. If perhaps you can make them rhyme it will fit in better :)

*AwarenessO* Suggestions/Comments
         I absolutely loved the writing style. I will come back soon to check the companion poem :)

WRITE ON!
         

Great Endings have Humble Beginnings.
Shara


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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6
Review of Ashes in an urn.  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
**This review is a reflection of my thoughts and my opinions only. Take the best and leave the rest *Smile***


*StarfishY* What I liked
         A moral to take home - when you are buried six feet under, you are left with nothing but your bones. Or in cultures where the bodies are cremated - nothing more than ashes in an urn. Loved the simplicity with which the message was communicated. Though deeds do stay back but it is true that so many of the things we feel are important are nothing but ephemeral pleasures and treasures.

*Glasses* What could be better
         I noticed a small typo
And all those I friends that once stood by me
The "I" is probably left in by mistake

*AwarenessO* Suggestions/Comments
         Loved the message conveyed in the poem. Though I would love for the old guy to realize that life is more than the death that it ends in yet the message conveyed in this poem is very true!

WRITE ON!
         

Great Endings have Humble Beginnings.
Shara


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
7
7
Review of "A Man Among Men"  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Carl,

This seems to be a eulogy. I respect you and your Dad :)
I wish he rest in peace.

Since it is a personal offering I don't want to be smart ass and point out review comments and stuff but I just have one small thing to say - I feel that this poem's formatting will look good even without the periods at the end of each line.

This is indeed a lovely piece!

WRITE ON!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
8
8
Review of A Woman Scorned  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
**This review is a reflection of my thoughts and my opinions only. Take the best and leave the rest *Smile***


*StarfishY* What I liked
         The flow of the content. The sections were nicely separated with the asterisks. The protagonist's thoughts didn't seem haphazard. Her dilemma was inevitable but the thoughts were in sync with the situation. Grammar was excellent and so was the choice of words. The sentences were of perfect length and were easy to read.

*Glasses* What could be better
         A tiny suggestion - Peter Ames was the popular Senior Class President who everyone called “Golden Boy.” The who in this sentence should perhaps be whom as Peter Ames is the object here.

*AwarenessO* Suggestions/Comments
         I love separating my emotional life from professional life. The conclusion made me crack up a little. Though if I was her friend I would tell her to not take any revenge at work. The story seems to portray Brad as a Playboy but it felt like only he was punished though the female protagonist is also the antagonist in some ways. But nonetheless, life works in different ways so this conclusion was also a good one.

WRITE ON!
         

Great Endings have Humble Beginnings.
Shara


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
9
9
Review of Suffocated  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Now who is to be blamed here - imagine what state of shock the parents must have been in. If I speak in cold blooded words - the psycho played his part well. He didn't kill them, he just left them paralyzed - paralyzed almost to death. I had once read a similar story on WDC - where the girl was buried alive - she had robbed a pretty dress of a corpse. The corpse sprang back to life - the dress was cursed or something. But this girl, she was buried alive with the dress and the worst part was that she was not even unconscious. Though she was being buried, she could see the coffin being sealed, hear the mud being thrown and so on. The thought of counting your seconds to death is tormenting.
10
10
Review of Monster  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
To get back at your enemy seems valid, but to hurt someone in his stead is complex and one cannot just classify it as right or wrong straight away. No doubt she wanted to get back to Richie but then one might argue that after years of being looked down upon, she was there - living a life in which no one now called her a monster. But yet, she was agonized and the agony carried for long even after her treatment. Cruel and dark and perplex at the same time.
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Now that is some angel which I wish does not ever come up in fairy tales. A completely new perspective of the old Hansel and Grethel story. It is like some form of a dark satire aimed at parents who just don't care for their children. May be not as vampires but later these children do teach their parents a hard learned lesson.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A little girl trapped with an evil soul in her body - that does sound scary and I wonder how she would cope with that. Knowing that you have another presence within your body is terrifying but being aware of that presence and the fact that it is evil - very evil - is dreadful. I would have liked to know what happens next and would like to read another sequel if it comes by.
13
13
Review of TREE OF DEMONS  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
So where do I begin from - first of all I feel that it seemed pretty easy on Cassandra's part. With just a few words she was able to banish the dragon and also the old witch who had made that tree her body. May be I am just a person who likes a little more shot at action, and there wasn't much action in the story. Also a little more description on what kind of evil the spirit brought with himself would have made it a more interesting read.
Nonetheless, it was a nice story in a few lines.
14
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
The thought of being tortured to death is indeed cruel. The story has been well written. What I like is the thought of reliving the dreams - the dreams of his wife. Though life took away much from him in those few hours, he decided to get back at life. It is sad and very painful when you think about how he must have suffered while listening to the beasts devour his wife.
15
15
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Nice portrayal... but it would have sounded even better if there were a few more words for the action which took place, a little more fear of the vampires and yes a little more about how Evan felt when he realized what he had gotten himself into. For any normal man, confronting six vampires and then the knowledge of knowing he had slept with a Witch last night, could be quite overwhelming. But nonetheless, the idea is good and it was a nice read :)
16
16
Review of Martyr  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Another twist at the paranormal - yes the paranormal does surface in simple acts that seem to be perfectly normal. It would have been rather interesting to read about the vampire origins of the girl or her relation to the young forever old man. However, what I liked the most was the way the story came to an end. Thomas was happy - well it didn't seem to matter to him that people would die but rather he was happy that after 40 plus years, his teenage beliefs have found proof! Whoa - I would consider that rather dark.
17
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Review of Penance  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I feel that if expanded, this story might become a good plot for some movie. After movies like Resident Evil, Splice and others in the same genre, this could be a different storyline. But yes, the end might not be dramatic enough for a movie however it seems like it's open for a sequel :). Good work! Write on!
18
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Review of Sugar Memories  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Sometimes emotions can't be captured with even a thousand words, and sometimes a few words speak volumes. This poem belongs to the latter category. Just a few words and yet it touches your heart. The last line, summarizes it all up. The flow is wonderful, first stanza describing her mesmerizing beauty and the second her infidelity. I'd say that the last line in both the stanzas summarizes the stanza pretty well.
19
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Review of I Have Seen  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
It's been such a long time since I last logged on to Writing.com and when I did, the first author I checked was Kings. And yes, this composition did put a smile on my face. Lucid words, simple thoughts and yet the way they are put down together, adds charm to it. Write on :)
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Indeed a masterpiece. There is absolutely no error with the punctuation, none that I could see, and the punctuation has the exact effects it's supposed to have.
The words used are subtle and very lucid, though the entire theme is very beautifully presented. I really appreciate your concise usage of words even while dealing with such a theme. It really helps the poetry to leave the impact it is supposed to.
Write on !!!
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Review of Tag along  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Carl,
It has been a long time since I logged into Writing.com and yours is the first port that I have visited.

These would be the words of every father while his daughter departs. I like the sharing of love. It presents a more genuine relationship as well.

Gr8 work dear.

Write on!!!
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22
Rated: E | (5.0)
Reviewed by Shara-vacationing till Feb 20 Author Icon
Review of "Everybody Everywhere"  Open in new Window. [E] by Becky Simpson Author Icon
Hi
Herein you have presented just one more aspect of the superpower we call GOd and we all believe in Him with different mindsets though. One mor emindset reflected and it is true, very true. I feel all the bliss we search lies somewhere within us and we look for it everywhere outside. :)
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Review of "Saint George Patron Saint Of England"  Open in new Window. [13+] by Ann Ticipation Author Icon
Reviewed by Shara-vacationing till Feb 20 Author Icon

Hi Ann,
The acrostic is a good one and the story that it presents is a beautiful and touching story. The rhyme also helps us to read better. The formatting is also great.

WRITE ON!!!
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Review of "A Fairy Wish - Christmas Story"  Open in new Window. [E] by askpaddy Author Icon
Reviewed by Shara-vacationing till Feb 20 Author Icon

Hi dear,
I liked your story and the words that they had were lucid and sounded like a lullaby. In short, they would read very nicely to kids. But there are a few punctuation errors that you must look into. These don't matter to kids, but publishers, mods , senior mods on this site would definitely point to them.
Lemme give you an example

“why don’t we ask Mum and Dad for a puppy for Christmas” // there is no question mark nor a comma before the dialogue.
“Yeah let’s//THERE SHOULD BE A COMMA HERE//” said Teddy.

Overall, it is a sweet story but needs some technical check.

Luv
Shara
25
25
Review of January 26th  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

Review of "January 26th"  Open in new Window. [18+] by Fyn Author Icon

Reviewed by Shara-vacationing till Feb 20 Author Icon

Hey,
This poem surely brings some dread even into the mind of the reader. It surely feels vetter to die rather than live a life of such fright. But then we fear death., Dont we. And that stops us all the more from reaching to the dead. Our urge for life leads us into such a terrified life.

I wonder if this poem would have some sequeal.
Luv
Shara
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