Very nice, you capture many emotions that are kept under wraps and never exposed, much like the knees and legs of the girls in your story. Excellent decriptions.
A couple suggestions: A parade is generally not rained out (like a baseball game would be), but rained on.
Also, when Nancy is sent home to change, wouldn't she have come back the same day, unless it was close to the end of the school day?
Overall, a great piece. This is the first item of yours I have read and reviewed. First item ever I have reviewed, in fact. Keep up the good work
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/spiderman
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 6:00am on Nov 13, 2024 via server WEBX1.