I feel part 2 makes more sense than part 1, but at this point why do these little pieces, apart when they make no sense until together. Again I would work on spacing. The detail seems a lot better in this way, but still feel a reread could help. No spelling mistakes, just very short and shows on plot yet, even with part 1 and two together.
I have noticed a good start, but there isn't really a plot or even detail. Every paragraph leaves the reader a little confused as to whats going on. Had to reread many paragraphs to find out who was talking and who was doing the talking. Take some time to reread and maybe even redo some paragraphs, also the weird spacing got my attention more than the story. I didn't notice many grammar mistakes and didn't see any spelling mistakes, just that is confused the reader majorly.
I really like the style of this poem. I'm not seeing mistakes. When reading this I get the awe, cute love feeling. while love can also have negative feelings association with it. Some of the words I had to look up, but you used a really good word choice. One of the things I like most, with the word choice the reader has to do some thinking.
I like this poem, I can tell it follows no pattern, but most of mine don't either. I really like the line "The rules of life and Society deter us from showing who we really are" I believe you hit a topic here that explains how society could use some changing. I grew up with a county/farmer mind set, which normally doesn't have the same problem as bad but it's still there. Then going to a School with lots of people who grew up in the city was hard. I didn't notice mistakes, you have good "points". Keep Writing.
This is well written, even know some of it was different to me. I do have to say I really like the font choice, it seemed to make it easy and clear to read. I didn't noticed grammar or spelling mistakes. Only time I got confused was because of not being used to the word used in that way, so keep writing. Your doing a good job.
Well written and shows your emotions. I believe poems are a way to show emotions to another one or at least Vent about something. But to this poem, the first step is sometimes knowing the problem, it this case can't be for sure if it will help or not. Some lines seem very long,(wonder if you could get the same point across with less at times, but maybe not).
I love your writing style. I can't really relate fully to this as I"m only nineteen, but I do understand Love is give and take. The Give for you in this story is giving all the Hot Water to your water. Keep writing. I don't really notice any corrections to be made.
Wow, really well written poem, you can tell it tells a story, I enjoyed reading it. Not want I was looking for but nonetheless it was worth the read. I don't see any real edits you could do, I understand it, and it would be a sad life. Keep writing and posting. Couldn't get any edits on it, but any feedback is better than none.
Never looked into thinking of hats like this, I'm one who is always wearing hats and have over 10 hats. I don't see any grammar or spelling errors. Not only can hats be a fashion piece, but they can be a way to help keep warm, as your body releases lots of heat from your head. Just a fun fact. Back to your poem, I really enjoy the poem writing.
Like this poem about things people never think about asking themselves. I have read this or something similar before somewhere. I don't see any noticeable mistakes, right away. I believe the young generations should have to read something about this topic, as so many things it's easy.
While, this is a fairly simple poem, and don't get me wrong simple poems are great, I like the flow. There is enough to know the feeling, but not enough where you don't add stuff for your self. Let's people interpret in the way you want to read. I don't notice any grammar or spelling errors.
As a deer hunter I know the urge to hunt, but could see why after that you wouldn't want to hunt any more. I don't hunt for trophies, never will just for the meat. I relate to the hunting part and sorry about the loss of your friends.
This is so true and Chase reminds me of the dogs I have had. I had one turn literally try to let people in when we wasn't home. She would turn the door knob, but couldn't get it unlocked, confused many people who came to the house. Then my dog know would probably let anyone in, and help carry stuff out even, but they wouldn't be allowed to touch me or leave the property. To me this story shows a lot of truth.
Like the rhyming. This feels to me that it could be more than just turtle love, and shows a feeling of human love. Poems can express so much meaning on different people its really neat to write. i like the layout and you did better than I could have ever done with the rhyming. The only question or so I have is Ne'er? But then it is just a way of speaking I"m not used too.
This is a neat way to understand for people who don't have to deal with bipolar to understand. Their has been times we believe my mother has a small case going from mad, to happy, to sad in about a ten minute time. It was hard on us and we was scared what to say to her. With this poem I feel it gives some of the feelings of what the other person sees. It's pretty well written too. Maybe you could make it longer, but then I don't know if i would change anything about it.
At first I didn't realize what the promise was, but I get the feeling it was to give his father a place to live always, as in the end you see Come home Now, Dad. I liked how you kept the promise hidden, but was given the idea. I like the poem, I"m a big poem person and it was well, written. It flowed together really nice, making me reading it over and over.
I liked it, it was sweet but showed how friends would form bonds. I liked the reading, as a girl fisherman. Fishing is second nature to me and I have up showed my boyfriend many times, when he gives up to. So I can really relate. I don't see anything to correct, but figures positive feedback is better than none.
Very sad, you explained the feelings, well. I also like how you added two types of poems together. Poems that flow like this one can be a trick so good job. I'm guessing it's about a friend and I'm sorry. Your also good with words, where the reader can really feel what you are writing about.
Neat poem about bowling, I somewhere got the idea as you was trying to write it in a westernly time. I did enjoy the poem. I never noticed any spelling or grammar mistakes. It's not too long of a poem but then again it's not really short either. Make sure to keep writing!
I really like this poem. I like the way it just follows the whole way through. I'm not sure if the title fits the actual words, but then I also see where maybe you was coming at the ideal of fitting in? I'm also getting at the music your talking bout is rap music. I don't really have much advice as it's well written.
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