First, let me congrulate you on your second place in Lexi's contest. You go girl! On to the review.
very sad poem about your feelings about a loved person, and the illusion that you had, and how you allowed that allusion to change yourself in ways. The imagery is darlin, I could feel the breeze with you, and relate to what you intended.
No spelling errors although, perhaps you could open the poem with some mention of the tears you shed throughout the poem but if this is a poetry form I see. Thanks for sharing and please note this review are only my feelings and suggestions for your work, no bad vibes were or are intended. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
I can honestly say you write wonderful poem with such small poetry forms. You portray alot and then allow the reader you imagine their own. Well done.
This poem, in its simplicity made me my love for my youngest for often I do feel as if I'm soaring above the clouds but at the same time held down tighty by my love for him and all my children, just I'm partical to his age.
You expressed the feeling of love in all its goodness in clarity and plainess. Thanks. I enjoyed it.
Wow! I like this alot, so much in so little of a poem. You suck the reader it for a quick ride with a sudden stop. I imagined lots with this tiny poetry form, and you did a wonderful job.
No errors of any kind, great simple presentation, and ended with an "oh my". Wow, full five. I liked it. Kinda romantic is a sick twisted way, right up my alley.
This small poem imply alot to me, and I thought of things that you might or might not intended with this piece.
Spelling/Grammer.
I see no errors that fall into mthis heading, way to go.
Suggestions.
Well, I'm not sure if this is a poetry form but it seems to be me, but the last two lines kinda don't sound right to me,you wrote: With lifted heart All disappear. I can't quite place it but perhaps an "a" inserted might make it flow better, but like I said the poetry form might not allow that.
Final Thought(s)/Feeling(s).
I liked this for what it implys and how you left enough to the reader to be carried off by their own impressions about the poem. The ease you related silk to a feeling and emotions was very clear. Thanks for sharing.
A heartfelt moment you shared about your daughter's birth and your thoughts and feelings as her father , a view I myself as a mother doesn't get shared with me too often. It was very warming and you laid your feelings, questions and fears out clearly, wow, I enjoyed it.
I tried to see some spelling or other errors and found none, and withe the word count I burdened entries with you did well describing this once in a lifetime moment in all it happiness and "good" fear.
Final Thought(s)
Life is wonderful with children and the bond we recieve with parenting. You showed be a warming moment in your eyes and I thanks you for sharing.
This review is not part of the judging process,and I will be re- viewing all entries with my fellow judge trose for final judging. Thank you.
A deep poem about a mother'd day gift, fuzzy dice, and I'm impressed by how you portrayed the dice symbolizing them to so many other things,like I said deep.
I liked how you intertwined the last line last in each stanza, and I will admit I did find your symbolism to god and some feelings you have was very clear.
I see no spelling errors, and you presented it well.
This review is not part of the judging process,and I will be re- viewing all entries with my fellow judge trose for final judging. Thank you.
Very well told, the events of an ordinary morning getting ready for work and your son off to school with not such an ordinary comment from your boy. He indeed must be very talkive lad.
Final Thought(s)
I see no spelling errors and your presented it very well. I could picture your son's rush and imagine the look on your face woith that darling comment he dropped on your lap. Thanks for sharing.
This review is not part of the judging process,and I will be re- viewing all entries with my fellow judge trose for final judging. Thank you.
A personal poem about how you adore the night, what things that draw you to it, and the memories being out at night give you. different, I enjoyed it.
Again no errors, your good!
Final Thought(s):
I liked your thoughts on night and this poem kinda warmed me to my own thoughts of night although they would be very different from your happy outlook at the night.
A honest poem about decisions made while alive that now seem wrong and were a waste of time and oviously a bad choice, Very straightforward.
Suggestions:
I would of liked to see the poem perhaps a little longer, your decriptive is great and so I longed to see what else you would of deemed a "waste".
I see no errors, nice editing!
Final Thought(s):
I enjoyed this for it honesty and truth for we all at one time or another felt we "wasted" a precious moment or one time chance. Thanks for enlightening me to your thoughts on a very strong point of view on things.
Wow! This rhymes great and the image is great. I could "picture" the beast in all its glory, fangs, and green evil eyes, and the scared prey shivering. For such a short poem I'm impressed by it's quality. I enjoyed it right up my alley.
No errors, way to go, nice use of color and presentation.
A tragic poem about the abduction of a mother's little boy, and how she tries to deal with the lose while not giving up hope that he will be returned safe and unharmed. Very emotional.
You presented it well and the piece flowed wonderfully, the mother's emotions could be felt, and I felt her sadness and hopelessness in the lost of her boy. I see no spelling errors, nice editing.
Final Thought(s):
You did a great job of portraying a mother's sadness in such a tragic events that as mother's we pray that will we never experience.
A sad and warming poem about a tiny angel, who you describe so well and with so much feeling that I was honestly moved. So tearful to "picture" the wee angel in her fear but at the same time bringing you happiness in what she does without realizing it. well done.
I honestly see no errors, way to go, and you presented it nicely and flowed ypur imagery intended beautifully. I could see the tiny angel although she wasn't described and feel her sadness in her fear, but at the same time your love and endearment for the tiny nagel who does such kind things for people in her fear. So moving, the dear little thing,
Final Thought(s):
I enjoyed this alot and was sucked in to the little's angels feelings, wow!
I warming dedication to a friend, who has passed away and missed terribly.
Spelling/Grammar:
I see no spelling or grammar errors, although grammar is not my strong point, but I am learning.
Likes/Dislikes:
I liked the presentation and how warming you portray your memories of Jennie, she was a kind person indeed that shows through.
I really liked this phrase you wrote, Jennie, you’re missed terribly, and my heart bleeds for those you left behind I enjoyed your descripition of your pain.
My only "peeve" as I like to say is that you didn't shed a little more light into what happened to jennie, and a little more of the light she shined and still shines.
Final thought:
very heartwarming, and kind of you to remember her this kind way and dedicate a poem to her.
A tragic poem, very emtional, your feeling poured through,about the struggles your endureing with your teenage son making some bad choices and how your mother's love gives your strength and endurance, for no one can love like a mother to her child I believe.
Likes/Dislikes
I liked how you presented this heartfelt poem, and your choice to portray your thought and struggles both good and bad. Your defience to not accept failure and emotion shown was very touching. I truely felt I recieved a small glimpse of your "mother's war". Thank you for sharing.
My only peeve as I like to say, is in stanza five, it's didn't come to me as clear as the rest of the poem did, its in flowing and well used imagery, it seemed to not be as "emotional" as the rest of the poem.
Final Thought(s)
My heart goes out to you with your struggles with your son, and things will work out, past experiences of my own as a mother and big sister have taught me that. Thanks kindly for sharing this experience with me and enlightened me to another mother's love.
This review is not part of the judging process,and I will be re- viewing all entries with my fellow judge trose for final judging. Thank you.
A small piece about the war of rosebud, although i noy actually fimailer with it, but am of crazy horse. You portrayed alot in such a thoughtful but like I said small poem. i enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing some of your thoughts on native history.
Impression:A honestly told poem about Halloween and all the spookiness and mystery and ideals involved with this holiday.Very nice.
Spelling/Grammer:
I honestly see no errors in this poem, nice editing.
Final thought:
i enjoyed the use of rhyme and the detail you used in this poem although I don't really like halloween you did well it portraying it in all it's glory.
Impression.
A poem about free rights, government, way politics and society clash today. Descrobes less violent ways for change.
Final Thoughts.
I enjoyed the subject idea, government it was different and well done. I liked the presentation and the rhymes flowed well. A very clear "picture" came through in this poem.
I'm giving you a full five for this folder, because I feel it takes courage, and true undrestanding to write about yourself and true events. Way to go, and keep them coming.
You share pieces of you world and life with others and I appreciate that,thanks for sharing.
I have the impression this poem isn't finish for some reason, I can't quite put my finger on. I found it very hard to follow and the poem intself didn't seem to bond with the title till the last stanza. I enjoyed your imagery but didn't truely understand what you were trying to portray.
Spelling/Grammer
I see no spelling or grammers errors. Good editing!
Suggestion/Mistakes
I would suggest perhaps another stanza to bring some fulfillment to this piece.Why was a guy behing her?
What she do?
How she feel about being approached at night?
How does this relate to waves and art?
How does he feel coming up on her?
I had alot of questions while reading this.
Final Thought
You presented this well with great editing. This review is intended to show my fellings and perhaps provide you with another "look" on your work, please feel free to use my suggestions as you deem helpful.
My first imprssion was nice idea,I was curious on how you would portray this idea, about kings and queens.
Spelling/Grammer
I see no spelling or grammer errors. Way to go!
Suggestion/Mistakes
My only suggestion is about the second line, first stanza, you write to take it at last This is to me a foggy part in your poem.
The time for what?
Take what?
Why are you doing this now?
I think this being at the beginning and worded how it is kinda made me ask questions to this poem, indeed some were answered as I read but some readers might of stopped there. I enjoyed this poem, your used rhyme well and presented in nice.
Please feel free to take this review as you would deem helpful.Take Care and Keep writing.
This tells a poetry type story about a woman's fellings, and how misleaded found the right road again.
Spelling/Grammar.
I see on spelling error fin’ly I think you intended finally. No otther errors well done.
Final Thought(s)/Feeling(s).
This flowed well, pained a clear picture of what you intended and rhymed pleasantly. I like how you introducted this thought. The devil’s angel does not care,. This is a nice insert in what your portraying.
Hi Lotusneko. Your being reviewed for Trose's Port Raiders Forum.
Impression
This is a unigue poem. I enjoyed how to brought flowers and another world together so gently. I as the reader didn't notice the subtle flow until my third reading.
Spelling/Grammer
I see no errors.
Final Thought
I liked you descripition used, I can picture in all intent the other world you described with its twin red moons. nice idea. Presentaion for good and the flow well done, a nice poem.
This is a good poem about Lazarus of the bible. You did well writing about what is all too often a touchy subject with people. You presented it nice and portrayed what you intended well.
Spelling/Grammar.
I see no spelling or grammars errors, you've edited it well. Way to go!
Final Thought(s)/Feeling(s).
I enjoyed this small poem for the subtle way to portrayed Lazarus, when he suffered and did not die in a subtle way. You have this piece feeling, and very thought out, I feel. You raise no question of understanding in this poem to me. Good job!
This is very well written, and it tells a story about fore shadowing to me. How sometimes were warned ahead of time dangers that might occur. You portrayed the main character very well, and left enough to the readers imagination to be surprised that he was dreaming a warning.
Spelling/Grammar.
You have edited it well, I see no spelling errors. Way to go.
Suggestions.
Perhaps to present this story better, you might wanna doulble space the paragraphs and converstaion. It would make it easier to read and for others who might notice suggestions I have not.
Final Thought(s)/Feeling(s).
You did well expressing the emotions of the cgaracters, detail in the scenes, and the plot was good.
This is a very descriptive poem about depression. You use emotion, image, and wording very well. You take the reader in with interest and keep the. Way to Go!
Spelling/Grammar.
You edited it well, I see no errors.
Final Thought(s)/Feeling(s).
I enjoyed this poem.You presented it well and used rhyme and meter well. Keep them coming! Nice desciptive title too.
stain.
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