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Review of The pain within  
Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Hello, jaya

I am here on behalf of Simply Positive to hopefully as is my intent to gift you a helpful, positive review. *Smile*

Such an inner profound torment. The pain one feels deep when they feel as if their very core has been cracked, damaged, and each breath bears only the pain of heartbreak. That perhaps life cannot go on. A sad poem, yet somehow I felt a small glimpse of hope. Despair, confusion, all is expressed in your poem, yet through we travel the road of darkness indeed we have rod in hand, and in that hope remains, it lives with each painful breath that light will shine guiding us down the blackened tunnel.

I do not see any editing errors, as mechanical, though you use some over creative words for the simple, deep quality your poem contains, and in that I thought what you express forced, almost confused.

Enjoyable. despite its somber message. Thanks for sharing!

*Smile*

StaiNed-:D


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Review by StaiNed-:D
Rated: ASR | (4.5)


Hiya! Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ *Smile*

Golly I really must say what a delightful quirky poem~! *Laugh* This is well written, and almost like a children't poem one would tell in not for the subject that in most quietly hinted at. *Wink*

Creative, and truly comic. You have a darling talent to expose pleasent tones in this poem dispite the horror that peeks, this really is just a wonderfully E poem. *Bigsmile*

Thanks! and do keep such poetry coming!



StaiNed-:D




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Review of Taken Chapter 3  
Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.0)


Hi holz1812 *Smile*

Ah! *Smile* In your last of three reviews, very enjoyable novel you have started, somwhat morbid, and suspencful you take me back to main character Anna. Stil brimming with emotions of uncertainty, hopelessness, and new a glimpse of self pervasion. {e;delight}

Again spacing is important. You have some normal editing errors creeping throughout. You have a great chapter her, we are given insight more into the crazed boyfriend Danny, has a more set picture of where Anna is, how she feels and how all this plays into Danny sense of crontol, hostility, demented love.

Oh! The suspense when we are taken! *Smirk* Thanks for sharing and again write on! Interesting novel. *Wink*

StaiNed-:D
Angel Army leader.

on behalf of "The Angel Outreach Program" 
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179
Review of Taken Chapter 2  
Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)


Hiya! again holz1812 *Bigsmile*

Into the second chapter I go. *Smirk*

Ok I must tell you I'm lost. {e;worry} from Anna's kidnapping in the first chapter, all what she was experiencing, and even the Detective James in the end, I am introduced to Chester and a dog kennel? and a, wondering to myself what does this have to with Anna, her crazed boyfriend, being Taken in general as the title lures us. *Smile*

Into it I learn what I hope are important later on details, however it this a needed chaoter two. in the order this novel is presented? Could what I learn here be told later on when we the readers learn more of Anna? what led to her being taken? Why she was? Why suddenly caused her beau to turn black? So much is raised in the first chapter in in this secind chapter no answers are given.

I know you are trying to create a background for all the will happen, however I am just unsure when Chester plays now in your novel. This is fast paced like the first chapter, you are depply creative and have a solid idea, only getting off to clear start is somwhat cloudy.

I suggest a decription to prick our curiosity. Thanks for sharing, and I look forward to reading more.

StaiNed-:D

Angel Army leader.

On behalf of "The Angel Outreach Program" 
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Review of Taken Chapter 1  
Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)


Hello! holz1812

This is your first of three, very humble reviews on behalf of "The Angel Outreach Program"  for being Feb's! Newbie drawed of that month! *Bigsmile* I am delighted to be gifting you your goodies, though note, stories scare me, *Wink* and are a weak point for me, evil poetry girl. *Ghost**Smirk*

Your title sums the story up straight as a arrow, not beating around the bush to what or what may and may not happen. My first glance was it does make paragraphs easier to read when they are always spaced.

You open up into Anna;s captavity, her surprise, he fear, confusion, panic, In sopyts because you seem to try to express to much too fast, you have an overflow effect, and what you attempt to express and share with the reader is lost. I would break the first paragra[ph together more, and not repeat feelinsg that are in fact all the same.

Second parargraph I would use "grasp" not grapple".

She listened hopelessly in the dark trying to listen for the slightest creak in the darkness but could only hear the thudding of her own heartbeat in her ears.

This sentence sticks out for me, for you overuse "listen" Listened hoplessly in the dark trying to listen? *Worry* Hmm, I think your off with what your expressing and to me it seems as if your trying to say something like " She listened in desperation trying to hear for the slightest creak in the dark but only hearing the thudding of her heartbeat in her ears, defeaning." *Smile*

Paragraph four is a small flashnack, to whom the appartent crazy boyfriend is. I think with all that the first chapter is this in not needed, and does nothing for the chapter as a whole.

Detective James as a closing couple of paragarphs, he ruined relationship, his problems, should be carried into another chapter, set seperate from Anna's captavity, they do not tie together well.

Though All this is interesting! Fast paved, and has a character though we do not know her well yet, she has grabbed out attention, and promises to take us with her horrific journey.

Creative! Thanks for sharing and I;m sure you will have a great novel in the end. *Bigsmile*'s

StaiNed-:D
Angel Army Leader! Ya`
Thanks! kiyasama you passed finals sweetie!

I am a Mentor! Click me to find out more!
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Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)

Hi, 🌕 HuntersMoon this is your second of three reviews, gifted to by Just call me Omni and Just Beacause I Want To Group! *Bigsmile*

Indeed you never know what you will find or better yet what finds you, and this is just amazing!! You gave such feeling! I could feel the ancient evil, it's anger, it's wickedness, it's leechlike desires. You open this just steady and expressive and truly tell a wonderfully spun tale of an evil book, bound by the pages in waits, trapped in.

A nightmare image penned in ink
falls from a book, tattered and torn.
Long forgotten, stained with years,
it bears an imprint that is borne
upon a deteriorating parchment sheet.

Kudos!! This is a very well written of my favorite reading material dark!! Thanks!!


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Review of Melody of Madness  
Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Hiya, 🌕 HuntersMoon I am back! *Delight* I am delighted! yes get a flashlight, darkness comes..*Ghost* with three reviews, yup! on behalf of Just Because I Want To Group, and... Ta da! Just call me Omni She enjoys your poems as well. *Bigsmile*

Oh! Where to start! Well the title is just captavity in the lurk of what is to be sung, how soothing demented logic can be, *Laugh* and indeed winter can take more than you warmth. "StaiNed Bits and Pieces"  *Laugh*

This has a sensual erotic touch to it Ken, and it written with some very homesome words, and a string of popcorn like stanzas, that just come together pop pop pop.

I saw alot in this and really when I ponder on it, I am a wee confused, which is rare. She, unclear certainty to whom, what "she" is, but I though she was as if a demon of frozen bliss, one that comes shrouded in sexual haunting, a demon that once was life, brutally murdered, and now the memories of that, keep the one cold.

Deep poem Ken, well written, enjoyable. Thanks for sharing, and remember spray and wash. *Wink*





StaiNed-:D




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Review of Those Walls  
Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, SWPoet

Thanks for your entry in "Project Write World" .

I always enjoy reading a poem that has a small epic feel to it, one that takes a image and uses it in all their deep and complex emotions they see. This gives me a sense of fighting, of salvation, of misunderstading. Well told. I only and this is my humble thought, a little repetitive, you resuse words throughtout for emphazise and perhaps in that your effect was the opposite. *Smile*

Good luck and thanks for particapting.

StaiNed-:D
Poetry Judge.
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Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)



Hiya! yet again. Hehe!!, River I hope you are enjoying your gift of a Read all About Package from "JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM TEMP CLOSED"  on behalf of "Smile~Worldwide" and Just call me Omni . *Bigsmile*


Fear was one said to me, nothing more that a outlook into the deepest confusion our own mind sets. Sounds off yes, but to me true, the feelings of fear, upset, hatred almost can be felt in this, and such a subject we all are moved by cancer.

One small suggestion, you wrote:

I can’t do this, a voice inside cried. I can’t do this.

I would change "a voice" to "my voice". Since it is the person's own self talking to themselve. Thanks for sharing and I very so enjoyed your writings. *Bigsmile*





StaiNed-:D




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Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)


Hello,again! *Smile* River I am glad you enjoyed my honest review of Zombie! This gift for you a Read all About Package from "JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM TEMP CLOSED"  on behalf of "Smile~Worldwide"  and Just call me Omni 2 out 3 reviews.

I think this is very well written in both it really seems to be in the time flow as decribed. I am out of my comfort zome here, but enjoyed this as you sum up a person Phil, very formal, straight to the point letter.

Well edited. Thanks for sharing.

StaiNed-:D


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Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)



Hello, River Very nice to meet you and gift you a Read all About Package from "JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM TEMP CLOSED"  on behalf of "Smile~Worldwide"  and Just call me Omni

Oh I would bever pass the chance to read another's delightfully poked Zombie poem, ans well zombie's are one of my fav's in the wilderness that is horror, EeK! *Laugh*

Tred softly, as they gather, undead corpses that still feel their souls. Such visuals, oh! spooky, almost melodific in feeling. This is a good poem. Embrace the power of the zombie. Thanks for sharing, kudos!


StaiNed-:D




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Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)


Hello, Ryan

OH! *Delight* deeply symbolic, thought tgouching poetry you have shared with us, enjoyable in a dark, somewhat morbid feeling, my muse often enjoys. *Smile*

Straight forward. I had the feeling that the perosn expressed in this was deeply confused and perhaps offset in their perception of life. To sit dreaming of death, and insects ending, and the twirl of the stars so to speak is quite a poem. *Smile*

I do have some suggestions, that I hope and offer only in help. It is not my intent to step on any little toes. *Wink*

Throughout this poem "i" should always be captial. It is individually, character, as I am reviewing you, not i. It lessens the importance and is a grammar typo. You title also should start captalized.

In the second stanza, you use "gone" many times, at first it seems for a repetitive effect but only does it take from your intent. I suggest another word usage for gone, to make it more creative.

A journey taken that was nothing more than despair. Sentences whould start as such, and always remember to end with a period. Presentation means quality and this is a great poem in what it symbolizes, only a few tpoes crippple it. A little editing always does wonders, and I will gladly return to re review. *Smile*

Write On and Welcome to wdc.




StaiNed-:D




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Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Hello, Lew

A spark that could not ignite the flame of a firey love, such feelings are often expressed in romantic ppoems and yours in wonderfully told. To love and lost indeed, make me think would if had better to have not loved at all? *Smile* No people would yell, for to know love and lose it it better than never haveing it all, and we all can relate to this poem, feel its sadness, the emphatic lure of sorror you so outstanding wrote.

I enjoyed this alot, it reads smooth and is edited well, only suggestion I have is the forth line, it seems to have a word missing after "memory" I think adding "that's" would help, but it only my suggestion. *Smile*


A good love poem is like a soured apple. Thanks for shariing always!

*Ghost*.. ies...


StaiNed-:D


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Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi! Kenzie

OH! *Delight* I was just peeking around and found this and well you really delighted my sad mood, so quirky and humerous, this is just fantastic!

One would think this would be just air, but it really comes together in some neat so creativly told imagery, that truely explains being untitled on purpose. WOW!

Thanks!!!!!






StaiNed-:D


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Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, Byron Quinn *Bigsmile*

Wow!! This really is so meaningful as I was told by Anthony D Redden one is almost brought to tears in the onslaught so gentle yet disarming, this reads, watching the candle melt, Oh so much it said, the lure of the dark shadows that grow closer as the wax fades, the confusion almost as light becomes gray. This is a really well written poem, self destruction does no really come to mind to the very end, and to me, so somber and melody like the poem is expressed, it is deeply moving, in both a gothic feel but one os redemption too. A poem of both sides.

Thank you very much for sharing!

StaiNed-:D

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Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Dorsidhion Aeralond

A neat heavenly felt poem about your well heaven for those who deeply embrace it as many here do, wonderful! So heartfelt and simply expressed without being ouver bearing and oreaching scripture.

I could see heaven in all its blinding light, feel the goosebumps in my tummy in the love that blooms there. Very beautiful poem, so fearless, so creative in your own insight to heaven.

Thank you very much for sharing. I enjoyed this poem.



StaiNed-:D




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Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Boo! kiyasama *Wink*

Well I just gotta share my delight in the changes to this Kiya, you do such a fantastic job, being a leader to all Angels in your army and being a great senior moderator we all look to.

The header is just oh! adorable! and I think this is a great change to invite and encourage adoptees to write, gain exposure, and feel good in perhaps winning something for doing what they love to do, write.

Creative! You always delight us Kiya!




StaiNed-:D




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Review of Exile in Winter  
Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)



*Smile*

Hello again JP Fields

Poem your working on, well I am delighted with the quality this has! *Wink* Santa saw your talent and I cannot argue.

Such profound feeling, and this tells like an old story, that just seems to have been around forever. I love winter, and so much can be exoressed in poetry with the season, this is one as such.

I like this alot, and well hollar if you add more. Wow!!!!

*Bigsmile*'s



StaiNed-:D




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Review of Life - a paradox  
Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Hello, rosy

Santa has gifted you, a Holiday gift from Just Beacause I Want to, and *Smile* I do hope you enjoy.

Oh a winter's heart as I say so very much. Cold, damaged, yet still beating with the love that lingers still. Frostbite with a broken heart.

Life is a paradox, we live only to die, no one can argue it, or escape it. Sad, almost bitter, forcefull poem, like a scripture from Revelations. *Smile*

Thank you for sharing, and Thank Santa. *Wink*


StaiNed-:D
A Just Because I want to group leader. *Heart* Sher!






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Review of Jaded  
Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hello, JP Fields

Santa has asked for you to recieve the Holiday Package from "JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOW"  *Smile* Don't ya always love when Santa spoils?

A deep reflection of the pain, the misery, the outlook to the past wrapped tight in the day to day moments of each new day, when one never ever feels free what what was, as they say, what was will always be.

It always seems worse when its a relationship that was torn apart, in agony.


First line, you do not need need a comma after Jaded, and I suggest chaning "and" to "but" as it seems the ending it stating a fact, a question already answered. A long breathe of knowing.

Deep poem. Thank you for sharing, and always thank Santa for sending me your way. *Wink*



Happy Holidays!




StaiNed-:D

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Review of temptation  
Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)



Hello, T.W.Early


Oh temptation, what damned us all, LOL! the apple on the tree so to speak, the most intense of all sins, I'm babbling.

This is great! Only those evil typos we are haunted by. *Smile*

Sixth line:

You need a space after ever comma, last three words.

You last few uses of the word "temptation" are all spelled differently and wrong.

I enjoyed this alot, and have not problem re reviewing it, once some typos are fixed, this has alot of feeling, and a morbid outlook into our own thoughts on the value of life.

Thanks for sharing!







StaiNed-:D




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Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Boo! Simply Adore ♥

It has been way way too long, my friend, and I peek in to find a warm, somewhat dark gate into that port. wow~! I do dare your silence and tainted retreat my friend, always, our Tale of Coco Adore. *Heart*

Presented with a simple elegamce that only you can do, and beautiful image!

I have missed you. great opening phrase! The nightmare do cometh. Buwhaha!



Happy Holidays!




StaiNed-:D

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Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hello, chavhater

I have had many tell me never to write your moods, but I have always diagreed. This is quite a emotional poem of deep depression and suicidal tendencies, that I think anyone who reads can relate to in some low part of our own lives.

I could not help but feel this and remember the same thoughts so many times visit me. Thank you for the sombering honest in your face poem.



Happy Holidays!




StaiNed-:D

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Review of The Refusal  
Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Helllo again The Shallow End

Refuse indeed. *Bigsmile* Say it, mean it, speak with an expression that tosses one's words at everyone feet so that they may trip in knowing, a painful outlook you give this poem.

As if the poet knows, but in that knowledge has become hard, bitter, like the bark falling off an aged tree left alone to watch the woods die.

I enjoyed this alot, you really have a morbid talent for expressing your own muse in some somebering images. *Bigsmile* This poem is a angry one. *Wink*

In your description you need not the puncutation.

wow, Thanks for sharing.




StaiNed-:D




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Review of Ode To Black  
Review by StaiNed-:D
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile*

Hello, The Shallow End

Oh! This is a well written tribute to the color black and all the misgivings and unfounded feelings we have about the color but also all that is lingers in the dark as well. *Smirk*

You really have a way with words and I really could feel this poem in all it praise and awe to what black is to the poet writing.

Expressive and touching!

I only suggest captalizing your "i"'s at the end of this prose and perhaps some mla to struture it and give it some cosmetic highlights,

like this,

Devoid of light,
they made you out to be a monster
the Devil incarnate,
associated with death, sorrow and all things glum,
no one ever tried to see the beauty in you
or the necessity of you,
how your (lack of) color makes you unique
amongst all the colors,
ironically, your reputation for
"going with anything"
wasn't enough to save you.



This is powerful prose, one that stays with those who read it.

Malignant. *Smirk*

Thanks for sharing, and again welcome to wdc. *Bigsmile*




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