{e:flower1)Try adding some more description. What kind of ice cream?
{e:flower2}Spelling and Grammar - My cookie, The Dragon, will melt in your moth. Moth should be mouth. with three layers of chocolate chip cookie dough, the cookie will be filled with ice cream. The first word of every sentence should be capitalized. "with" should be With.
{e:flower3)Just one last question: Why will the chocolate dragon make me feel good? Tell me why!
You don't have to put the words My Cookie in quotation marks - These things " "
I liked how you added descriptive words for each part of the cookie. The only part where you should try some different words here is here In the center, there will be real, real chocolate. Think of another way to describe that chocolate in the center.
I have a question on your last sentence. What has salt in it? The cookie or the chocolate covering the cookie?
I enjoyed reading about your favorite cookie! Keep writing!
Very nice speech Princess. You did a very nice job on this! I actually learned a few things too. Your speech was very informative and well written. Good Job.
I gave you a perfect rating on this for sheer imagination. I love Harry Potter, I love writing, and never in my days would I have thought to make something like this. Nice job!. I like how you were able to capture each of the characters as Jo Rowling wrote them herself.
Your Chat Log was very entertaining. Very. I felt like I was reading one of the books. Props to you :)
There was a couple of things that I noticed though. RedHed: you mean like Uncle Vernon in book five?
I don't think that the characters would make reference to a book that they are in.
Just a personal observation, I'm not sure if Harry would make his screen name "BoyWhoLived", just my opinion.
You weren't joking when you said we reflect. Expressing ourselves through our writing shows how truly strong we are. I know for me, it helped me over come the things I was writing about. I enjoyed your entire Port. Your poetry is so real. My only advice to you, is to go back and read over them again to correct minor spelling/grammar errors.
I really liked this. It flowed well (except for one part in the begining, I'll get to that in a moment )and as I like to do with poetry and obviously set lyrics, I can put a lil bit of my own "mind music" to it as I read it. That in my book is a plus because it then, really reads as a song.
That part that threw me off for a moment was here: So often I have put your needs high above My own. Is it only me who sees our reality?
Listen to my heart, don’t reject my sincerity.
You put the end of sentence at the begining of another line. Honestly, the "my own" doesn't need to be there, because "I have put your needs high above" when I first read it, said what you meant.
Other than that lil' tid bit, these lyrics are awesome. :)
A very real perspective on Poverty. Not many people today actually put thought to this issue. I find myself sometimes taking for grantit (sp?) of all the things I have in my life. Food, family, shelter, car, a job etc. But every day I'm at work I'm reminded. I work for a catering company, and all of our unused food goes to a local charity called Forgoteen Harvest to feed the hungry. And for that I take extra pride in my job because I have so many people ask me what we do with our left overs.
Ok onto the lyrics. Reading it as a poem, it flowed well. I found it hard, as they are only words, to try and find an alternate way of reading them, as a song. Most of the time, with my own poetry for example, I can hear a beat or music if you will to flow under it. I found that difficult here. Not sure what you can do with that information.
Your rhyming scheme is interesting. Six lines with every other rhyming with each other. I liked that though, shows that you are flexible I want to say. Your mind can work that way, and it makes sense.
Overall I am very pleased with your work. You did a wonderful job on this piece. Thank you for sharing on such an "unthought of" topic.
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You don't have to put the words My Cookie in quotation marks - These things 
" "
I liked how you added descriptive words for each part of the cookie. The only part where you should try some different words here is here 
I have a question on your last sentence. What has salt in it? The cookie or the chocolate covering the cookie?