{e:flower1)Try adding some more description. What kind of ice cream?
{e:flower2}Spelling and Grammar - My cookie, The Dragon, will melt in your moth. Moth should be mouth. with three layers of chocolate chip cookie dough, the cookie will be filled with ice cream. The first word of every sentence should be capitalized. "with" should be With.
{e:flower3)Just one last question: Why will the chocolate dragon make me feel good? Tell me why!
You don't have to put the words My Cookie in quotation marks - These things " "
I liked how you added descriptive words for each part of the cookie. The only part where you should try some different words here is here In the center, there will be real, real chocolate. Think of another way to describe that chocolate in the center.
I have a question on your last sentence. What has salt in it? The cookie or the chocolate covering the cookie?
I enjoyed reading about your favorite cookie! Keep writing!
Very nice speech Princess. You did a very nice job on this! I actually learned a few things too. Your speech was very informative and well written. Good Job.
I gave you a perfect rating on this for sheer imagination. I love Harry Potter, I love writing, and never in my days would I have thought to make something like this. Nice job!. I like how you were able to capture each of the characters as Jo Rowling wrote them herself.
Your Chat Log was very entertaining. Very. I felt like I was reading one of the books. Props to you :)
There was a couple of things that I noticed though. RedHed: you mean like Uncle Vernon in book five?
I don't think that the characters would make reference to a book that they are in.
Just a personal observation, I'm not sure if Harry would make his screen name "BoyWhoLived", just my opinion.
You weren't joking when you said we reflect. Expressing ourselves through our writing shows how truly strong we are. I know for me, it helped me over come the things I was writing about. I enjoyed your entire Port. Your poetry is so real. My only advice to you, is to go back and read over them again to correct minor spelling/grammar errors.
-Katrina
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