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Review Requests: ON
1,815 Public Reviews Given
1,867 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Minimalist. Focus on technical. I also look at how a work would fit into the traditional publishing landscape. I don't use a template. Warning: I am Australian, and so cultural differences may apply.
Favorite Genres
Most, really.
Least Favorite Genres
Fan-fiction
Favorite Item Types
Short stories and essays.
I will not review...
I will not review porn, fan-fiction or pro-religious/OTT-pro-USA essays. No interactives either, please.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of The Voice  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
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The tale of a person hounded by the memory of his father's voice and an admonishment he heard often during his life. He ignores it and continues with his day.

I think I have it.

The set up is really good. This is a man who cannot let go of this one part of his past. But the story went nowhere. It feels like it should have something about it that this mental admonishment leads to, but all we get is the person thinks that it's going to be a long day.

Technically it is also very strong.

I just wish this intriguing set up had more meat on its bones. Good luck going forward.


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2
2
Review of 1st Jan 2000  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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I know this is old, but it was an interesting look back. What would we do with the value of foresight, knowing the future? I know you don't go into that here, but this piece does lead itself open to some very interesting questions. How would you go nowadays, ten years after you wrote this, and all the extra knowledge you now have?

While this is more a vignette than a story, the simple fact of the matter is this is very thought-provoking, just the basic concept, and the way you have presented it.

Technically, it was very clean, so nicely done.

I enjoyed this and how it got into my head. Good luck going forward.


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3
3
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


This was an interesting op-ed. I have to say, a quick check and here, the term "gal" has not made a comeback and I don't think it would; it was never that popular here in the first place.

But what you've done is put forth your point of view and your reasons for said point of view well and without getting into extremes. Your delivery is well-done and subdued, and yet angry (or at least annoyed).

Technically, very clean; nicely done.

It is good for people like me to hear different cultural aspects. so thank you, and good luck going forward.


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4
4
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Interesting piece of flash. You have managed to tell the story well within the constraints of the flash fiction format, with the right mix of show and tell when given so few words to play with. The use of dialogue was well done. The ending did feel a little abrupt, but again, that is the nature of this form.

Technically, some missing commas in direct speech was about all I noticed.

So, a fun little story. Good luck going forward.


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5
5
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


This was a great little piece of flash fiction. Admin foul-ups even in the other world. I like the whole attitude of the narrator - Death again, and then maybe I can't eat the sandwich.

After cancer, I guess nothing fazes some people.

Technically, very clean. Nicely done.

Wonderful piece and good luck going forward.


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6
6
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Yep, a second anniversary review.

This was a rather depressing poem. I wasn't sure just what I would be getting into with a political poem, but this was a lot darker than I thought it would be. No answers are given, just a dire situation.

Interestingly, the use of alliteration throughout gives the poem an almost spat-out feeling of rage. It works well with this topic.

I was not expecting this, and am glad I found it. Good luck going forward.


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7
7
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi. Found this in review request.

This is a well thought-out string of meditations on one of the main things that concerns writers - ideas. You put forward your history without belabouring it, and yet bemoan finding that original idea.

As someone who has been writing for quite some time - there are no original ideas. The idea is not the key; ideas cannot be copyrighted. It is what you do with it that makes the writing yours.

Without trying to bignote myself, here's 2 blog entries that I think explains this:
"20250324 One Situation, Many Writers" Open in new Window.
"20250423 Two Songs, One Meaning (Using Similar Story Ideas)" Open in new Window.

As a personal piece and a musing on writing, this is quite good and technically it is very clean. It also follows the conventions of an op-ed nicely.

I hope the ideas thing does not hold you back. Good luck going forward.


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8
8
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Well, yep - this is dark.

It might be a very brief piece, but there is something here that makes you ponder and think. Yes, we find out what these dark things are near the end, but that is easily missed.

And it makes perfect sense. This is not so much short story as philosophical musing, and one that hits the nail on the head. Why won't memories leave us alone?

Technically - strong. No complaints here!

Really well done. Good luck going forward.


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9
9
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


As it's your anniversary, I thought I'd give something new a read. Well, an hour and a bit later, and this had me engrossed.

Your vignettes, tales and stories of times past are great. I could be pedantic and complain about a few technical things, but considering this is a blog and hasn't been touched in a couple of years, I won't.

What I will say, though, is this is a great example of how I teach the older people I do workshops for when it comes to writing an autobiography for their children or future generations. This is exactly the way I teach it. I might email you later and ask if I can use it as an example.

But as a blog and a series of memories it is entertaining and covers such a wide variety of topics and incidents that, like I said, I couldn't stop reading.

I guess my main comment is... would you consider coming back to this?

Thanks for the read!
10
10
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
This came up on 'Read & Review' so here I am.

Words hurting is a complex issue, and the three things you have mentioned are definitely three important aspects. But what about the fourth - abuse when the words are designed to put a person down, using slurs and poor language?

And what about expectations when the person cannot hope to meet them? Not the talented, but the mediocre trying to live up to an ideal they cannot reach?

This discussion feels rather surface level. It just basically says accept it, get on with life, but when words are used again and again to belittle and put a person into place, that can be very hard.

Technically, there were a lot of missing capital letters. There were also a lot of run-on sentences that obscured the meaning. And missing letters are also evident in some words. This needs a good edit from that point of view.

As an essay, there is not a real conclusion and you lack the definitions to let the reader know by the terms you use what exactly you are representing.

This is a good start, but it does feel like a draft.

Good luck going forward.


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11
11
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review' so here I am.

List poems can be an awkward beast, but I think you've done a good job here. The analogy of the person growing old compared to the natural beauty of the world is a really good one. While some of it is stuff I couldn't relate to (I'm in a different country), the overall idea and concept is nice.

The dropnote explaining things did help me, someone with no idea about the USA.

There is very little I could offer here, except to say I enjoyed this one. Good luck going forward.


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12
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Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
This came up on Read a Newbie.

So, you have given a very brief overview of a piece of US history. Very brief. The cannon was loaned to the settlers who refused to return it. Even I, a non-USian, know that. Apart from that... why did they have the cannon? What other underlying reasons were there for an uprising? This makes it seem like an isolated incident.

Also, who are the "Texians"? Texans are people from Texas now, but a reader would need context that this was what the settlers called themselves. You just drop the term in without explanation.

Technically: Inured should be injured. Casualtie should be casualty. Some missing commas for context.

As far as an essay or non-fiction article goes, it does not follow any of the rules for the form. Part of that is the shortness and lack of detail.

This is a topic that could be fascinating looking back with a modern eye.

Good luck going forward.
13
13
Review of Hibernation  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review' so here I am.

I wondered where the poem was going at the start, then it became obvious - a poem of grief and uncertainty about the future. I like that - leave the reader guessing at first before slowly revealing the true source of the emotions.

Those last three lines really punctuate the poem nicely.

I read poetry out loud, and this was a little awkward at first; it took me a couple of goes to get into its rhythm. I did find one in the end, just a little awkward at first, is all.

So, a strong poem. Good luck going forward.


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14
14
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


it took me a while to "get" this, but once I think I did, it brought a smile to my face. It reads as a celebration of the pagan, the Mother being Nature, the savage daughter a form of the women who run with wolves.

Taking it that way, it is a strong poem of freedom and doing what a person wants, living in harmony. I think you've captured this concept well, and the repeated refrain throughout reinforces the fact this is not necessarily a solo activity, but open to everyone.

Technically, one typo: "thunder ad rain" -> "thunder and rain"

This is a strong poem. Nicely done and good luck going forward.


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15
15
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


The concept of an external person being a "family" member is one that has many indigenous bases and is found the world over. It is something very common, for example, amongst the extended Indigenous community in Australia. Foster families are also based on this.

The chief point of this article is that these relationships do not foster open communication, as that is your thrust and is highlighted in the conclusion. I think if you are going to make such a sweeping statement, you need to cite sources because my experiences have been just the opposite.

This feels more like a personal anecdote or something coming from personal experience than an actual article of something that is very complex and widespread.

Technically, this was generally clean, so well done there.

There just felt, to me, that something was lacking here. Sorry. Good luck going forward.


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16
16
Review of Ghost  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Sad little supernatural story. The ending explains the muting of everything except internal emotions, and is a subtle hint of what is to come, so well done. It works as the "wallflower" story, but then is amped up in the last two paragraphs to go beyond that. Nicely done.

One suggestion: Get rid of the ghost comment from the second-to-last paragraph. Finish with "I've become something I never thought I'd be."

Then the last paragraph, go for the emotional punch: "...now I'm stuck spending the rest of my life around the people I know and love, yet alone – a ghost." That still leaves it open for interpretation as a shy, lonely person, not just a dead person.

Anyway, just a suggestion.

Nicely done tale and good luck going forward.


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17
17
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
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While I disagree with some of what you have here, I am going to review this as a piece of persuasive writing.

First, the paragraph separation is fine, with each paragraph starting with its topic and then going into support for that sentence. Some do feel a little short of support - like the paragraph about businesses - but the set-up is good.

However, the introduction needs some work. I think the two things missing are definitions. We need a definition of social media for the purposes of this piece. Second, we need a definition of benefits, as some of the benefits listed here do not feel like benefits to me.

I would also be wary of mentioning the actual username of an online person and trusting their personal descriptions.

Your conclusion follows the dictates of the form well.

So, while I do not agree with a lot of this, you have put your arguments forward well and have presented an argument that is cohesive and works reasonably well.

Good luck going forward.


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18
18
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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I picked this one because it has no reviews.

This is one of those message stories where the message overwhelms the story itself. Young Alexis just accepts that the older one is what she is seeing and is telling the truth... which she wasn't as Alexis did not become an actress but a counsellor.

And two "failures"? Alexis seems like a drama queen. As a character, she was difficult to get behind.

Technically, the only thing I found was a repeat of the phrase "said her mother" in: "Well, hope for the best but prepare for the worst," said her mother. "If you don't get it, there are plenty of other places you can try," said her mother. Otherwise quite clean.

I understand what you were going for with this, but the stakes felt too low and Alexis just was not a particularly easy character to relate to.

Thanks for sharing and good luck going forward.


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19
19
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Interesting little piece of flash about meeting a man and things being just as he said they were. I like the way you didn't try to explain anything, just stated it as this was the way it went. Always makes for the best stories. And the ending with a dozen jars was perfect.

Technically, there were a few minor things (e.g. missing punctuation and capitals), but nothing a good edit won't fix. I also felt it snapped into the two years together weirdly. It just felt like a jump from a fun interaction into a tell what happened tale.

Still, I did enjoy this. Good luck going forward.


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20
20
Review of Bradbury Tales  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
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The thing I like most about this tale is that it feels like it is written in the style of Mickey Spillane or the like, including some little grammatical tics and a patois that sounds right to me having watched too much TV, even if it is set "now."

The story moved along at a nice pace, and there was a convoluted denouement, which seems to be the go-to for these tales. That is my only personal issue is that the ending was a little convenient - that very night the photos had to be handed over after 6 days - and why would Holdfast assume he'd be paid off? That just didn't quite work for me.

Technically, really clean.

So, I enjoyed this tale, and good luck going forward!


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21
21
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


This is so not what I would normally read on WdC, but I read it all the way through and then looked it up online to see what a cricket looks like (apparently really recommended in Queensland, not often used where I live). I didn't know it was called a cricket! This is great for me as a writer.

The way it was written was so easy to read, and illustrated your point - do all your research - really well. Also, technically, it was clean.

It also made me do some other research (our insurance companies do not insist on things like this, for example), and it adds to my knowledge of how the USA operates.

If I had one suggestion, I would have made the ending stand-alone with a little more detail, and I would have included the end note in the narrative body. But that is so minor.

It is strange that this one little essay sparked so much, which tells me you did an excellent job of presenting your work.

Thanks for sharing and good luck going forward.


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22
22
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This was an interesting tale of a haunted car, but the fact it was haunted for a reason, almost as if the ghost understood these detectives would be able to help her adds a nice level not often seen.

Technically, it was fine; anything I saw I think was likely due to language differences between our countries, so I'll let it go.

Story-wise, it was also okay. I don't know how juvenile offenders on the spectrum are treated in your country, so I can't comment on that. However, I can comment on the sad reality that people too often equate autism with violence. There's not even a link between autism and mental impairment; autism is just a neurotype that exists as a result of natural biological variation. That it would be assumed someone on the spectrum could be violent is a sad indictment of the legal system, with the rather nefarious Autism Speaks pulling the strings. So blaming the son makes perfect sense, no matter the physical issues.

Now, the main thing missing from this tale, to me, is emotion. I did not get the impression the couple were that scared when the car started to act up on the first drive. They went about their plan coldly, not with nervousness or trepidation. It leaves the story feeling a little "tell" as opposed to "show."

"Shivers rippled down her back." is a fine image, but she just watched what could have been - and to her mind was - a ghost and that was it. No catching of breath, heart beating harder, cold sweat breaking out, mouth going dry, the sort of physiological things that happen at times like that?

Also, the husband went along with the ghost theory way too easily. There should have been more doubt, more back and forth.

And wouldn't lying to get the doctor to their house be a red flag to prosecutors? That is a genuine question; I don't know the answer.

So, it was a good story, and a nice understated supernatural tale at that. I think it felt a little muted to me, is all. And the Musicology Anthology has a 2500 word maximum, so you have a good 600 words more to play with... *Wink*

Good luck going forward!


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23
23
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


A touching look at loss. It is hard when a child loses a parent before they have seen that parent live a full life; I was 10 (nearly 11) when my dad died and my sisters don't even remember him, but I wonder how things would have been had he lived.

You have captured it all - the growth of unmet great-grandchildren, the way memories crop up at random moments, all of it. And you do realise that it might get "easier" but memories always remain.

Technically, this is good; nothing amiss.

I think the only thing that I would suggest is to add a little more emotion - how you actually felt, maybe even physiologically, when all these little things happened. But that is my opinion.

Well done, and good luck going forward.


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24
24
Review of Valentine Flight  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


This is a fantastic metaphorical piece. The idea of being on horseback and flying is one that, while I have very little experience with it, I can most definitely see. And understand. You paint the picture in words that is both evocative and so easy to picture.

Technically, it was fine. However, the verb tenses felt off at times. It was like they were a little over the place, but it's hard to say what they should be for this piece. It just felt odd in that regard.

Still, I really enjoyed this. Nice work, and good luck going forward.


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25
25
Review of The Curse Unravel  Open in new Window.
Review by S 🤦 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


A dark romance, but a darkness that sees the love shine through. You have used some fine description here, sticking with the 3rd person PoV of Yvonne well, and not head-hopping. We have her responses to everything as the emotions on which to hang our hats.

I especially like the fact that you do not tell us what the curse is; we don't need to know - it is the McGuffin of the tale.

So, I guess the following comments are all technical.

Missing direct speech punctuation around: But, he said, his voice dropping to a low murmur, there...: "But," he said, his voice dropping to a low murmur, "there..."

And the "Thanks, Yvonne" feels too flippant, like she'd passed him a drink. I feel this would be better as a proper "Thank you, Yvonne" as that feels more heart-felt in the context and language of the rest of the tale.

So a really good story. Good luck going forward.


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