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126 Public Reviews Given
161 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
My goal is to give a detailed, organized review that highlights the positive characteristics of the work, while also touching on any areas that might benefit from some editing. All of my reviews are, of course, just suggestions and meant to be helpful to the author. I am always available via WDC email if more input is needed on any aspect of the review.
I'm good at...
I excel at analyzing spelling, grammar, punctuation, timeline continuity, and the flow of the story. I prefer to review fiction but can apply my knowledge to non-fiction as well. My knowledge of the fundamentals of poetry is very limited (at the moment at least!). My reviews of poems tend to be more along the lines of how it comes across to me, how it made me feel, and what I visualized when reading it.
Favorite Genres
Fiction, Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Romance, Mystery, Comedy, Inspirational, Family, Military, Holidays
Least Favorite Genres
Non-Fiction, Horror
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, books, contest entries, blogs
I will not review...
Erotica
Public Reviews
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Review of Aflame  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Bottle O’ Nyquil , this is a review of "Aflame.

Overall: This feels like a good beginning to a long story. The descriptive words used do well to help set the scene and hint at the background of the world. I got the feeling of a mix between sci-fi and fantasy due to the mention of 'old beings', 'mutants', the 001/mission language, and the bandana with the communications device. This is a lot to try and fit together in such few words but has the potential to be developed in future additions to this piece.

Technical Issues: There are some grammatical and punctuation issues. Be careful to start a sentence with a capitalized word. Most of the dialogue had great punctuation. Watch for run on sentences. Using the semi-colon ';' is ok, but it can make for very long sentences that could be broken up into shorter more effective ones. I liked the spacing, it made it easier to read and the breaks between scenes was useful for story flow.

Favorite Part(s): Two phrases stood out for me: 'freckles of golden embers' and the sentence 'They hear the noise, sniff the air, and flee.'
The description of the snow and embers was a unique bit of detail that captured my attention. A landscape is like the face of the earth we can see and using the word 'freckles' was neat to see combined with there.
The sentence was short, to the point and told the reader everything they needed to know. It also conveyed the emotion of the characters and told of the scene itself.

You have a great start here with this storyline. I hope you are inspired to continue adding to it. Thank you for sharing your work with us.

Welcome to Writing.com! Happy writing!

*Ornament1G* Madelyn

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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Marvelous Friend , this is a review of "Mystery of the Yellow Case.

Happy 3-year anniversary at WdC! *Smile*

Overall: This was a clever short story that I enjoyed reading. I liked your choice of object that met with the theme of the contest and the corresponding picture you used for the post. The suitcase seemed fitting to me. The uncle has passed away and gone on to his 'next adventure' so to speak, while young Tommy is just beginning his own. For so few words, you wove together an intriguing story with a happy ending. I always love those!

Technical Issues: I didn't find any technical issues. There is only one thing I could remark upon and it in no way takes away from the overall feel of the story. In the two paragraphs where you describe Tommy finding his room and then what's inside, there is a bit of a repetitive feel to some of the words. You have colorful descriptions that set the scene for the reader, so having some of the words (like 'old') repeated gives little hiccups to the good flow you have going.

Favorite Part(s): My favorite part was how Tommy figured out the secret to opening his suitcase. It felt like maybe his sister gave up too fast or perhaps she didn't get as much out of the time she spent with the uncle. Tommy's memory and creativity led him to the wonderful ending of the story. (I do have to wonder what would have happened if no one had opened that suitcase! *Smile*)

Congratulations on your anniversary at WdC! Thank you for sharing this story with us.

*Ornament1G* Madelyn

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Review of Winter  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sox and Sandals , this is a review of "Winter.

Overall: Winter was an enjoyable read for me. It had a smooth flow with a good hook at the beginning and a great last line. In less than 500 words, you presented a storyline that is memorable and also left me contemplating about the circumstances that led the main character to this situation.

Technical Issues: I didn't see any technical issues. I do have one suggestion. I have seen other contest entries that include a note at the bottom with details about the contest for which it was written. I like this little bit of added information because it helps carry it forward even after the contest has finished. I'm trying to remember to put this in my contest entries, though I admit that I don't always remember! *Smile*

Favorite Part(s): My favorite part was how you crafted the build-up from the beginning to the end. The beginning shows his appreciation of the state he finds himself in, though it is still disturbing. Then, as time goes by, he feels dissatisfied with how things are and is compelled to keep searching. It was also clever to include the details that everything he encountered was something he already knew.

Great job with this short story!

Congratulations on your 8th anniversary at WdC!

*Ornament1G* Madelyn

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Review of Reflections  
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello LeJenD' , this is a review of "Reflections.

Happy WDC Anniversary! For 17 years, your writing has inspired others here and beyond, because what we experience here gets carried with us out into the world. Whether reaching us through laughter or tears, empathy or fears, you've touched more lives than you might ever imagine.

I spent time looking through your portfolio to choose a particular piece of work to review for this special day and this piece stood out like a beacon.

If I wanted to describe this work in as few as words possible, they would be - calm determination.

Calm - though you may not always be calm in the moment (who is, right?), that feeling is a part of your steady foundation. It is what you know will be there, once you have weathered the storm.

Determination - you accept that change has happened and will happen again, but through it all, you will survive, for yourself and for everyone that cares for you.

Life affects us and we affect life. We can't control the changes that come our way, but we can shape our reactions to them. We will have our weak moments and our strong. Part of a greater world, yet choosing where and how our feet will fall on our path. And when (not if) we stumble, we get back up and keep going.

All of this I felt from reading the 14 lines that you wrote. Congratulations on being a part of this community for nearly two decades. Thank you for sharing this poem with us.

*Ornament2G* Madelyn

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Review of Different  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Louisa , this is a review of "Different .

Overall: A very intriguing introduction to what feels like a longer piece (hopefully, one day we will see more of this girl!). Your descriptions and the flow enhance that feeling of dichotomy. It is especially interesting that, though it is described in other ways, the center of it lies within a person. I'm left thinking that I would like to meet this girl, but maybe watch her from a distance for a while first! A really good hook to leave the reader wanting more for why she is this way.

Technical Issues: I only found one technical issue: end of the 2nd paragraph, 2nd to last sentence - 'here' should be 'her' I think. The second comment I have is just my own personal preference and not a criticism at all. When reading longer pieces, it helps me to have the text broken up into smaller paragraphs. My eyes follow the text easier. As a writer, I sometimes use those breaks to emphasize a shift in feeling or highlight a change of perspective.

Favorite Part(s): 'This was just the way she was.' I felt like this sentence was a reflection of the girl and her circumstances. It is a short, to the point sentence, and yet it says so much more than just those words. It speaks of how she views herself (despite what others think), handles herself (despite how others treat her), and also... perhaps an unspoken longing that she wasn't this way - but has found acceptance that she is... for now?

Thank you for posting this piece for us to read.

*Ornament2G* Madelyn

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Review of A Sandy Day Out  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Louisa , this is a review of "A Sandy Day Out.

Overall: I enjoyed reading your essay and found myself feeling a similar, though different, impression for this one as I did reading "A Softer Side of yours. Both were able to evoke a feeling from me with very few words. This one left me feeling the calm that was evidenced by the person in the piece.

Technical Issues: I found no technical issues. It was neat that I needed to look up the word 'ombre' to verify its meaning. It's nice to find a tidbit of something like that in the works posted on here. *Smile*

Favorite Part(s): The parts that most caught my attention and lingered with me were: the wind and your hair, your hand running across the smooth pebbles, your slight disappointment at relinquishing the beach to others, and ending with the focus on the fact that you were ultimately happy to have had a good day. All of these resonated with my own experiences and the overall feeling of your essay.

Wonderful descriptions! Thank you for sharing this piece with us.

*Ornament2G* Madelyn

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Review of A Softer Side  
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Louisa , this is a review of "A Softer Side.

Overall: I enjoyed reading your short story. It was intriguing how you wove it together. The feel of it was completely different from what was actually presented, for me at least. It had a dangerous, sinister feeling, especially in the beginning. Even after we know what is in the box and it takes a slightly lighter approach, there is still tension to the piece.

Technical Issues: I didn't find any technical problems.

Favorite Part(s): My favorite part was when he opened the box. The description of what lay within still had me thinking the worse (though suspecting something else) right up until it was described. It was also interesting how he described his wife in a nice way, but also dismissive of her as well. He does seem like a complicated, secretive man, though I would bet his wife may know about what he spends his time doing.

Thank you for sharing your writing with us! *Smile*

*Ornament2G* Madelyn

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Review of Endless Throb  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Wolfius , this is a review of "Endless Throb.

Overall: I enjoyed reading your poem and really appreciated the initial note as explanation for the differences in punctuation. The light-hearted feel comes through in the beginning and then begins to fade in the 2nd stanza, as you intended. By the end, I did feel an aching empathy for the individual. Well done!

Technical Issues: I didn't see any technical issues. I did have one comment/question. In line 11, did you mean to use the word 'fiery' or were you thinking of 'fury'? It is the only time it felt like the flow had a tiny hiccup for me, but that is likely because this question came to mind. *Smile*

Favorite Part(s): Line 6 is my favorite part. The choice of words and their positioning made me feel as though, as readers, we were caught in a current that was carrying us along regardless of how we wanted the happiness to remain. This is much like how we feel as we grow towards adulthood and experience our first heartache.

Thank you for sharing your work with us and welcome to WDC!

*Ornament2G* Madelyn

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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Tim Chiu , this is a review of "The Legality of Our Souls.

Overall: I enjoyed this poem that you posted back in 2012. It came across as a random item to read and review. The whole poem is memorable, and I found it interesting that each stanza could stand on its own. A wonderful tribute to everyone in the military.

Technical Issues: I did not see any technical issues. The only lines that didn't flow as well as the rest (for me) were 'Blissfully rejoicing in the next, Heartfelt moment of joy and splendor'. I think it was the repetitive feel of rejoicing and joy close together. It took nothing away from the overall feel of the piece.

Favorite Part(s): My favorite part of this piece was how music was tied into it. Some do not realize how closely tied together music is with the military. The way it was woven into the lines in the first and last stanzas tied together the feeling of continuity to the poem, also emphasizing the relationship between those fighting for our freedoms and the ultimate sacrifice some of them make, and all of them readily accept as a possible fate.

Thank you for sharing your poem with everyone.

*Ornament2G* Madelyn

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Review of Wild Turkeys  
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham , this is a review of "Wild Turkeys.

Congratulations on winning the Daily Flash Fiction with this one!

I loved this short piece. *Smile* With the exception of a few years of my life, I have always lived out in the country and get to see the wild turkeys this time of year. I always think of my dad saying he was going to bring one home for mom to pluck and cook and she would just give him a look *Laugh* Needless to say, we always had a frozen one.

You do a great job of taking us to the time and place in just a few words. The story is entertaining and fun with a dash of love and family thrown in, which is perfect for this time of the year. The ending was clever and made me smile. You did a lot with very little dialogue and the words spoken added to the story in specific ways that enhanced the overall feeling of the main character being there alone and talking to these wild animals. (Which I've been known to do, lol. Squirrels and bunnies mainly!)

Thank you for sharing your flash fiction with us.

*LeafO* Madelyn

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Review of Last Winter  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi BubblePig , this is a review of "Last Winter.

Overall: Thank you for the note ahead of time that this is a story in progress, it helped to know that before reading. Still, it is an intriguing set of scenes. The first reminded me of how I felt as a young child in school. I often found myself gazing outside and watching the world go by as we sat in the classroom. The second scene echoes the first, by appearing to be the same character during the summertime while school is out or perhaps on a day off? You use wonderful descriptions that can either paint a picture for the reader or make us feel like we are there in that world with the main character.

Technical Issues: I only saw a couple of issues: there seemed to be a word missing maybe from the sentence about the reflection of the bobble hats in the puddle, and a comma could be added to the last sentence after the word 'back and before 'I'.

Favorite Part(s): The part I loved the most was your description of the chalk in the second scene - 'scratched out in crumbling white'. Whenever authors can convey an element of the story to me without actually naming it, I am impressed and feel more a part of that world. A second part that struck me was the fledgling bird. It seems to be mirroring the feelings of the character and can also serve as foreshadowing (if the other sentences weren't already there about dying). Baby birds take off, but not all of them make it to adulthood.

This is a good hook to leave readers wanting to know more about Elsie Summers and how/why she died last winter. I look forward to reading more of your work. Thank you for sharing it with us.

*LeafO* Madelyn

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Review of Through the Door  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi elephantsealer , this is a review of "Through the Door.

After receiving your review of my work, I wanted to explore your works and offer you a review. I always try to find a piece that doesn't have any reviews yet. I did read other pieces in your portfolio and enjoyed them, as well.

I enjoyed this piece of your work. There are two things that come to mind.

One is that it is from the viewpoint of the baby in the beginning. Stories that were handed down were given from the child's perspective in retrospect and that made for a unique experience for the reader.

The second aspect I appreciated was focusing on the door. It is a simple object that so many of us probably never think about, but you have highlighted it and given it a 'life' of its own, so to speak. Giving it the name Death does seem appropriate considering the feelings and everything that was experienced. As the reader, I did think that the door has also experienced so much life, as well.

There were only a few words misspelled. The long paragraphs made it a little hard to keep track of where my eyes should be while reading it but did not take away from the overall feeling of the piece.

Thank you for sharing this with everyone.

*LeafO* Madelyn

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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Serena Blade , this is a review of "Feed It Anything .

Overall: The theme for your short story was interesting and catches the attention of the reader. Your descriptions and dialogue do a good job of setting the scene and maintaining the pace needed for achieving the ending with such few words used. The last two sentences bring the story full circle for a satisfying end for the reader.

Technical Issues: I only noticed a couple of punctuation/grammar issues, none that took away from the overall feel of the piece. It was pretty neat to see the : used with dialogue, don't see that often *Smile*

Favorite Part: My favorite part was that our main character took the plant home in a red wagon. Considering the context clues, she seems to be a teenager. It is the only use of defined color. I can imagine the looks a teenager might get hauling this odd-looking plant home in a red wagon. If this was a short film, I could imagine it being done in black and white with the only color as that red wagon.

This was a good contest entry.

Write on!

*LeafO* Madelyn

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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Richard ~ Shenanigans INC. , this is a review of "The Black Cat's Tale.

Overall: I’m a sucker for a good story with a cat at the center of it and this one didn’t disappoint. *Smile* The premise starts out simply with a subtle underlying objective that unfolds in due time to be a more complex plot. The characters are memorable and leave the reader wanting to know more about what happens to them.

Technical Issues: I didn’t see any technical issues.

Favorite Part(s): The cat is described really well. I loved the action words you used for its movement and the descriptions of its eyes and temperament. These were seamless with the woman’s character descriptions.

Congratulations on your anniversary at WDC!

*LeafO* Madelyn

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Review of Coffee Spuddle  
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Words Whirling 'Round , this is a review of "Coffee Spuddle.

Overall: My favorite kind of poem is one that makes me laugh and this one definitely did! You took the word of the day and ran with it making for a wonderful piece of poetry. As a mom, I related to every bit of this, from the shower floor to the cold coffee. (It's still coffee, so I'm drinking it! *Wink*)

Technical Issues: None that I could see.

Favorite Part(s): I loved the flow of your poem. It had a rhythm that felt like I was looping round and round as we went through your morning. Each loop had some new bit of chaos that mirrored so many of my own mornings, especially the cat throwing up. (ARGH! *Cat2*)

Thank you for the laughs. *Smile*


*LeafO* Madelyn

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Review of Morning Coffee  
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Angel , this is a review of "Morning Coffee.

Overall: In just four sentences, you had me hooked! With very few items and descriptions, you give the reader a clear glimpse into a larger picture. I was left with more questions than answers, which is exactly what was needed for this prompt.
I do know one thing. Sheila's situation is dire... she's facing it without coffee! *Wink*

Technical Issues: No technical issues that I could see.

Favorite Part(s): My first favorite was the police car pulling up. There was an immediate slew of possibilities that popped to mind. The second was that the milk felt cold in her hands. This spoke to me as a reflection of what she might be feeling inside.

It was a great entry for the blink contest!

*LeafO* Madelyn

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Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for the great crossword! I rarely get to finish these and this one was a lot of fun to do. Number 8 down had me stumped for a bit, then it made me smile when I got it!
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Review of Seeing My Way  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for the insight into your world. I am impressed with all you have accomplished on here and look forward to reading more of your work *Smile*
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Review of Snow  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sox and Sandals , this is a review of "Snow.

Overall: Wow, for 323 words this piece is full of descriptions that pack a punch! It almost felt like a poem, the flow was lilting and lyrical, especially in the beginning.

Technical Issues: The only suggestions I have here (not sure if it matters grammatically or if it is more like the author's choice) are maybe to add commas after 'At ten' and 'By eighteen'. The only reason I mention it is because there is a comma after 'At twenty-one' and it would keep with consistency.

Favorite Part: My favorite part was 'he changed the pavement to putty'. Good visual and use of alliteration.

Thank you for sharing this piece!
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