1. It's good poetry to be shorter, because it's poem, not novel.
2. This I said to it "No, I will no longer be trapped in poetry. I will no longer have my thoughts clouded and constrained by meter and rhyming patterns. I want to know why I enlarge my faults and belittle my successes. Why my luck has run out years ago?"
Because there is no such thing as luck, there are only patterns. You envy those above you but you ignore those below you.
You complain now but yesterday you rejoiced, and tomorrow you will rejoice again, and the next day you will be like you are today. So then why are you even bothering? "I'm bothering because I am bothered. I'm impatient because I've lost my patience. And I'm sitting here talking to myself, so join me in this psycho-logue. Ill even fix the meter." should be format, because it seems it's not a part from the poem.
You have put strong feeling in your story here. It's good to face your fear/hate and go out of "comfort zone"
My weekly goals in Dec 9-13 are:
1. Writing article in Bulgarian and English to my websites;
2. Writing a few pages /up to 5/ on my novels series "Illusion's world"
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