I wanted more... not a bad thing to leave the reader to compete the story in their own imagination. I couldn't help thinking that this is the prequel to something much longer.
What is it about hotel rooms? It doesn't matter where in the world you are, they all seem to have been designed by the same artist.
I admit to having been left wanting a little more. The short story, obviously describing an afternoon interlude, didn't describe the reason that Laur took such delight in seeing Gregory and Brett have a spectacular break up. I could understand if Laur had also previously had a thing with Gregory, but that isn't the case. Why does she derive a perverse pleasure in Gregory's demise?
I thought it somewhat unusual that this historical couple should both switch their sexuality (implied rather than explained), it would have been worth a few lines on how that came about and perhaps a brief outline of why Brett should be so angry at Greg's lies. From the reading, his reaction is extreme, so there must have been an underlying reason.
Apart from wishing for more information, the short story was entertaining and did not contain any mistakes that I could discern.
This is a very nice story, but spoilt by the formatting, making it hard work to read. That may not necessarily be your fault, more to do with the version of software you used to write it in.
One criticism is the need to start a new paragraph as different characters speak. Otherwise, things have a tendency to run into each other, causing the reader to have to back track.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 8:56am on Jan 30, 2025 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
