Wow did you ever do your research!
I think that anon-idiot was pissed because he/she couldn't solve your puzzle.
Don't worry, this is a great piece of work!!!
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Hi Irisisflower!
I came across your Poem "I want to die"
and wanted to share some of my thoughts with you about it.
"Now, this is just my two cents worth mind you."
Please,keep in mind that anything I say here reflects my own thoughts and opinions.
If something offered strikes you as useful, great!
If not, turf it!
On to the point of this message...
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
Wow bold title! Brutal honesty at it's best.
WHAT I LIKED:
"No one knows me, really cares for me,I could die and no one would miss me...I want to die!"
This is such classic Angst!
"My only companions were fear and doubt,"
Really pounds home the atmosphere.
The layout, really seemed to suit this piece very well.
GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SPELLING:
What can I say? If there are any errors it is beyond my vantagepoint.
COMMENTS/SUGGESTIONS:
The Third to last Stanza, why longer? Were you thinking in terms of a chorus? It works for me, non-the-less.
IN CONCLUSION:
You are a very powerful writer. The personal torment just reaches off the page and grabs the reader.
Gripping. So dark it hurts! Great stuff! My appreciation for Poetry is still in it's infancy, but I am learning a great deal from pieces like this.
Thank you so much for sharing this Poem.
It was a moving piece.
Keep up the good work! -SueV
I just finished reading "Sometimes",
and I wanted to share some of my thoughts with you about it.
"This is just my two cents worth mind you~" *These are merely my own perceptions. If something strikes you as useful, great!
If not, turf it!
Title:
More than appropriate.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
Wow, you really got "clothes-lined". This piece is just dripping of Angst!
WHAT I LIKED:
" dug a hole and buried me alive"
Great descriptive analogy. This statement aptly sums up the entire piece.
"I'm living with a broken heart that's still beating"
Gives a strong image of emotional pain.
"Sometimes , you heart is hard to follow."
You summed up a valuable conclusion. Personally, I would like to see you try to rephrase this so that it would be an even stronger statement.
"Sometimes life seems unfair, but things, usualy happen for a reason."
Leaving a hopeful ending is a good thing. Especially when you take the reader into what amounts to, a deeply hopeless situation.
Rhythm/Flow:
Somewhat choppy, due to some rough edges.
Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation:
Some difficulties with all of the above.
When we write particularly intense pieces, it very hard to step back, and be objective.
You will find that a basic Spellchecker will not pick-up many of your basic errors. didn't your heart is hard Sometimes_ , you but things, usualy(usually) happen for a reason."
Overall:
This is a powerful piece of writing. Please do not write it off as merely a "blast" of self expression. A large portion of our greatest literary works are pieces of emotional Angst.
Thank you so much for sharing this work. It was very moving!
Keep up the good work! -SueV
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1524164 by Not Available.
In appreciation of the time and energy you spent writing this story, I would like to offer you my personal take on your work.
Oh, and please refrain from editing your piece until after the winners are posted in the forum. Thanks!
The suggestions following red check marks are merely that. Suggestions, based on my own personal views. Please only take what you find helpful and turf rest
This is only my two cents worth.
That being said, lets begin.
Characters:
Connie Handmaid:
The main character a self described "Psychic" and teenager, swiftly shows herself to be a very well rounded person. Displaying a wide range of emotions.
Evelyn:
Connie's mother is a strong enough character to portray her bravery and strength of will before her eventual demise.
Plot/Conflict/Pace:
Opening with an introduction of the main character, moving smoothly into a history of the conflict of the story. Adding an emotional challenge to the mix with a sudden resolution to the tale.
Grammar, Punctuation, and Spelling: On the whole, the technical details are quite good.
Some difficulty dealing with past versus present tenses.
suggestion: "there are no true men (male) psychics; only men who..."
First Impression WowFactor: What a great tale! I was quickly drawn into the story and had my attention wrapped up until the last parting words.
My Overall Rating:
I enjoyed your creative story a great deal.
Nicely structured with a good flow to the storyline. I would be quite interested in reading further additions to this "book".(?)
Reviewers and Judges are in the process of reading each story and writing its review.
Winners will be posted in the contest forum no later than the 7th of the month.
The Judge will email the winners and award their prizes prior to posting the results. Best of luck to you!
Thank so much for sharing this piece. Great read! -SueV
Hey PL,
Nice work on the In & Out. I really loved your choice of topic. Idiom challenges are actually one of my favourite pastimes I liked the way you structured it, I was actually only taking a quick peek but it enticed into making at least a comment.
Thanx, it was fun
I love this contest. There's something about taking an idea and paring down to it's very essence that really gets my creative juices flowing! Thank you for being here, and for offering me a fun outlet for my newbie energies!!!
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"No one knows me, really cares for me,I could die and no one would miss me...I want to die!"
are merely that. 
Some difficulty dealing with past versus present tenses.
suggestion: "there are no true men
