I loved this! the rhyme scheme fit right in. Its like a true story of how the world today is and that's what brought me in and interested me. is this how you really feel and what you are going thru or was it based on somebody else life? it was very unique with a great word choice.
I didn't really understand the concept in this. It just told us about what he or she sees in her dreams. Well what makes her dream so special? Is he or she in love? Our brushes taken, but not our day? What are their brushes? if they are painting why did they ignore the canvas? Give more details about who the dream is about, and maybe how long he or she has been dreaming. Was the dream ironic to her?
This poem reminds me of a story or a song i have read before, I dont feel like it was original at all.Maybe put more details or dont start every line with I miss. try telling why you miss those things.
This poem was very sweet and original. it had a very good vocabulary. Although I feel as though its like every other love poem. You didnt really tell us what happened int the story or what the date in the title meant.
I love the line "When they want to cry I direct them to my sholder" because there are so many ways you couldve sayed it and it would have sounded cheesy but it sounds so sweet that way. I didnt like how you kept repeating your friends are your life you love your friends etc.
The last line kind of confused me. Is he her silent tears or the reason for them? It seems as if I have read this before I dont think its very original.
The rhyme scheme was kind of weak. I feel like i've seen this in a movie or heard it in a song before. In some lines there was some good imagery but i feel like it could have been better. Like actuaaly have them talk about why she should'nt miss him or why she should'nt love him.
This story makes you want to keep reading because it has that little bit of suspicion in it. You used a great choice of words while doing your imagery. Overall htis story was really good.
I like the story but i felt as though there should have been more background information to it. Like you said your true love but earlier on in the story you said your friend which one was he ?
This poem had alot of great imagery. It was very easy to comprehend and it was very easy to relate to. The word in between it line made you do a liittle thinking and I enjoyed that. Overall it was a good poem!
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