Well, sir, the idea is definitely readable! Very interesting, if a little 2 dimensional at this point.
1. either you can expand description of situation here, or later, but make sure it gets done.
2.I have no idea what the main character looks like...
3. I loved Jakes and the Nad-es conversation. very alien sounding... now are Nad-es human or not? their mental patterns do not seem human to me... but you keep calling them that
4. The swearing was spontaneous and unnecessary
5. Nice world-building, in general.
6. Grammar editing would be helpful
Need some work, but idea is promising. (reminds me of an anime XD )
Keep working man, u got this.
-theironhand
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