A really wonderful poem. What I liked most is the description. Also, the choice of words is good. The poem has a perfect formatting which is pleasing to the eyes. The rhyming words of course are brilliant. The poem flows swiftly without any glitches. But I have one remark. Never end a line with a full stop in a poem. WRITE ON!!
Hi Kathie, this is my review for your poem 'Too fragile for lace'
I liked the title but I think it would be nice if you keep something shorter. The opening lines are interesting but the only thing that's hindering the flow are the commas in the middle of lines. In some places adding a word would be better.
For example, Katie's tiny fingers,[her]blue eyes
It stresses the name. Also add 'with' at the beginning of the next line.
All in all, I liked the feel of the poem. Though it's short, it creates the mood very quickly. A very good poem in my opinion.
Hi William, this is my review for your poem "MY FRIEND"
THE FIRST IMPRESSION
Well....the first thing that caught my eyes is the absurd formatting. Since your's is a poem that's very important. It can be easily fixed by editing. All the same, the first line attracted my attention. A good start.
THE GOOD
I really like the feel in your poem. The expressions are crisp and clear. The mood created was fine considering this is a very short poem. The theme of the poem was easy to grasp.
THE NOT SO GOOD
Firstly, the poem doesn't flow swiftly. You should refine your choice of words so that the reader really feels to read the poem again.
MY CORRECTIONS/SUGGESTIONS
Despite of everything, there were few typos and mistakes in your poem....
and the other lost it....[It should be-the other lost one]
But I lost my friend But is unappropriate....perhaps So I lost my friend
big differences...no need to make it plural
in [h]is own attitude
what ever I truly lost my closest frien Perhaps...Whatever it is, I truly lost my closest friend
THE FINAL WORD
This is a sad poem about a breakup between two friends. I hope it's not your true experience.
being able to write stories is a boon, use it well
Hi nebwriter, this is my review to your story Homecoming
THE FIRST IMPRESSION
Well, I think its your first attempt in writing. I liked the beginning. As I would like to put it, it grabs the reader into the story.
WHAT I LIKE
I really like the way you narrate the story. Your choice of words is excellent. The story flows without any glitches. A very good start.
MY SUGGESTIONS
Firstly, you should know how to write dialogues because they are a very important component of short stories. Always start a dialogue with a new line no matter how short it may be. It really creates a effect. And also try not to change the point of view too often. It confuses the reader. In your story, it'd be better if you write everything from David's POV. Describe more, the places, the people and events. These little things create a lot of impact in stories.
I'm very glad that you have no spelling or grammatical errors. It's just that your work needs polishing a bit and you're all set.
BOTTOMLINE
I liked the theme of the story. It explains the difference between life in a village and in a city. The dog Oskie, is a very good addition. ALL THE BEST for your future works.
Being able to write stories is a boon. Use it well
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and the other lost it....[It should be-the other lost one]
Perhaps...Whatever it is, I truly lost my closest friend