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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/vacantvagrant
Review Requests: OFF
24 Public Reviews Given
24 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Vacant Vagrant Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Awesome stuff. Keep it up.
2
2
Review of The Couple  Open in new Window.
Review by Vacant Vagrant Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I thoroughly enjoyed this. I admit I am not a huge fan of poetry but this hit home with me. Thanks so much for sharing.
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3
Review of Dream Sequence  Open in new Window.
Review by Vacant Vagrant Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
As we've discussed previously, this is a very interesting story with a lot of holes that I can't wait for you to fill. Keep it up!
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Review by Vacant Vagrant Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Nice. You are as talented...maybe more...at writing as you are editing. The characters were great, I loved the dialogue. I've never heard the phrase "victuals". But even that wasn't enough to damper the tale. Very solid work.
5
5
Review of Brett's Story  Open in new Window.
Review by Vacant Vagrant Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Ok...you've set us up for a very tragic tale. Don't overdo it with description. I got lost in the first few paragraphs, and not in a good way. I, truthfully, got a little bored with it.

It's a short piece, which is good because it means you won't have to cut a lot out. Be careful with run-on sentences.

You have an eye for detail & a heart to write. Great. Just keep at it.
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Review of Uppity  Open in new Window.
Review by Vacant Vagrant Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Nice story. Very intriguing twist. I must admit I am far from a technical writer, so your style seemed good. I like the open-ended nature of the work, and the idea that the character was far from what he seemed. I almost would have rather have Brian discover his true nature than have it spoon-fed to me, but cool story nonetheless
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Review by Vacant Vagrant Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
There are quite a few technical errors in this story. Be sure to reread and check your spelling. One thing I do after a rough draft is read my work out loud to myself to make sure the words sound right. Don't be afraid to do this.

The good news is the story is sound. It's awful and brutal but that's the point, isn't it? The world is a brutal place especially in wartime. It's a good tale. Be sure that you work at it, because I can see what you are trying to say but it isn't clear enough with some of the technical flaws. If there was significance to Sasha/Alex at beginning and end, I missed it. I think there was supposed to be but I just had a hard time understanding.

Keep at it. You have a very raw piece with a lot of potential. I think with the right editor it could be a great story. Good luck. Keep at it.
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Review by Vacant Vagrant Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Interesting story. I might have missed the bit where the emboldened words held some sort of significance. I like the message very much, and I think it carries this piece well. I have admit I had to reread a few times to understand what was going on in spots. I would definitely suggest having someone that is more skilled in the technical aspects of prose and grammar take a look at this story and help with that. I would recommend going with "edgework" on the Request Reviews page...he's harsh with grammatical issues but absolutely encouraging.

Keep up the good work!
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9
Review of The Red Teacup  Open in new Window.
Review by Vacant Vagrant Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Great story. I know there should be more to the review than this but wow. I'm really blown away at the shocker o an ending. I'm going to rec this story on my Facebook fan page. Just an incredible story. Thanks for sharing.
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