This was great! I think that you always need to capitalize the first letter of the first word in quotes, when a person is starting to speak, even though the person doesn't start speaking until the middle of a sentence. Also, your story would look more professional looking if you included the the title of your story, then, 'Chapter 1', instead of just putting the number one. Other than these minor things that I mentioned, everything else looks great! You really have a great story here, very intertaining! I look forward in reading chapter 2. Feel free to check out my writings, if you want. Keep on writing!!!
This is a great story! It really kept my interest all the way through! You really have a good grasp on grammar, spelling and punctuation, not to mention a good knack for story telling. This is really great! Feel free to come and read some of my stories and poetry. Geat job and keep on writing!!! :)
Ahh, I love to read anything about forbidden and lost loves. You done a great job on this. To make your writing look more professtional; always include the name right above your poem or story and when writing poetry always center it in the middle. Including the name of your work just right above your actual writing and centering your poems in the middle of the page, makes your writing look complete, pleasing to the eye and more professional looking. Feel free to check out my writings, I would love to hear what you think. I have written poetry about my deceases son whom I miscarried and I have recently written a new story just yesterday, entitled, 'The Journal Of Ellen Rosenmyer'. Again, great job and keep on writing!!!
This was a great poem. Interesting and unique. I love good poetry, stories and novels about ghosts! I'm not the best at punctuation, grammar and such, but I think that you may need to correct a few things. The line:
“these words are mine, I gave them to you
One night when your mind couldn’t think”.
“I gently held and guided your hand
Together, our minds formed a link“.
The word, "these", I think needs to be capitalized, because this is where she is beginning to speak. Also, I'm not real sure, but, I think the quoations need to be after the periods, question marks, ect.
Other than these few minor mistakes, everything else seems to be pretty good. Also, including the name of your poem would look more professional looking. I hope I've helped some. Great poem and keep on writing!! I have some poetry that I have written if you're interested in checking them out. I would love to hear what you think of them. Let me know when you write more poetry about strange ghostly visitors or anything more of that nature, I would love to read more!
You done very well with this poem. Bringing forth such emotion can be difficult, but you done quite well. The only thing I noticed is that you dont have a lot of punctuation in your poem, such as; periods, exclamation marks, ect.ect. Always remember to put in the correct punctuation at the end of a sentence. And don't forget to capitalize the first letter of the first word afterwards. I'm not the best at punctuating, but I think it does need more punctuation.Good luck and I hope this helps. You have written a great poem!!! Feel free to check out my poetry and stories if you want. Definitely keep writing on!!!!! Well done!!!
I don't really like spiders, but the way you told this story was very interesting and entertaing and made me actually feel sorry for the spider. The way you wrote this story made me really feel for the spider. GREAT JOB! Keep on writing!!! Feel free to check out my portfolio.
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