Warped Sanity's (warpedsanity) Reviews

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Warped Sanity

Review Requests: OFF

1,223 Public Reviews Given

1,228 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

I try to give reviews the way I prefer to receive them. Honesty, thoughts for improvement, and identifying strengths are aspects that I prefer from others, so I give these things in return.

I'm good at...

I can pretty much review anything, whether poetry or short stories. My favorite genres to read are horror and the odder side of fiction, but I am open to reading other genres. If I do review a genre that is not one I particularly enjoy reading, then I am most likely going to review it based on the structure, rather than the content.

Favorite Genres

I tend to gravitate toward writings in the dark genres. With short stories and novels, horror is my favorite. With poetry, I prefer writings that display raw emotions. If your writing tackles a subject that people find offensive, I might like it.

Least Favorite Genres

Christian literature, Western, and Children's. I will NOT read or review anything that consists of XGC material between minors and adults or encourages abuse as acceptable behaviors.

Favorite Item Types

Dark poetry, horror, emotional, autobiographical, erotica, psychology

Least Favorite Item Types

Horror is one of my favorites to read and write. Also, poetry that tackles intense subject matter interests me.

I will not review...

I WILL NOT review anything that encourages abuse as acceptable behavior or includes XGC material between a minor and adult. All review requests asking me to read whole novels or later chapters will be rejected. The reason being is that I can not give a fair review of chapter 3 when I have not read the chapters before that and, the time allowance when requests for reviews are made does not allow for enough time to read a whole novel.

Public Reviews

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201

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4347915

Review of A Gift at the Door

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"

. Welcome to the biggest review war here on WdC, "Game of Thrones"

First impression
I don't know about funny, but the story itself is very heart warming. Well, the dog lover bit gave me a chuckle though.

Strengths
I love how you tell this story, showing how you wanted to be left alone, apparently caring about the dogs more than people. I can relate to that, because I am a hermit too. Like you, I could care less about what my nosy neighbors are doing. Going by the ending, I'm assuming this is non-fictional.

Dialogue is done well. I get a strong sense of who these characters are by words spoken and body language. The guest who eventually becomes your friend seems more proper, especially since you just are originally introduced to her last name, but eventually she seems like a sweet lady.

I like how you mix the relationship of the dogs into the relationship with the friend. Their love did truly bring together a great friendship between you two. I imagine there are other segments of your experiences together somewhere in your port, or at least the end suggests as much.

Suggestions
This is well written, so I have no suggestions for improvement.

Final thoughts
This was a sweet glimpse at how two people can become friends by a dog being in heat. It was an entertaining and heart warming read.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

202

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4347907

Review of A Spider. . . Really

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: E

| (3.5)

I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"

. Welcome to the biggest review war here on WdC, "Game of Thrones"

First impression
This displays something that a lot of people can relate to: A fear of spiders. I kind of like the little guys, that is if they are not poisonous, but I understand how one would have such a fear of them.

Strengths
Dialogue was done well as far as words spoken. They follow normal speech patterns, rather than seeming too formal. The personalities of the characters shine through with the dialogue and body language used.

The dynamics between the son and mom seem realistic, which makes the story believable. Like the mom in the story, I often call my son to take care of pesky things, but my fear is those big water roaches.

The story flows well from subject to subject without any confusing bits to stumble over. The grammar, spelling, and punctuation looks correct as well.

Suggestions
The issue with this is the plot. It is suspected. What would have made it more interesting is if she walked around ignoring the spider because she thought it was a joke only to find out it was real. Or, she freaks out and it is something silly. Anyways, there needs to be something that surprises the reader.

Final thoughts
This is written well and many can relate to it. I enjoyed your little glimpse into someone with a fear of spiders.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

203

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4347781

Review of Talked to Death

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"

. Welcome to the biggest review war her on WdC, "Game of Thrones"

First impression
Hahaha, Well that is a way to cheat Death! Cute story!

Strengths
There was a lot of character development in the dialogue. Death's impatience with the man is clear. Then the man's annoying behavior and lack of understanding is funny.

The dog poo thing was a nice comical touch. Ah, poor Death getting his robe all nasty like that. Then the man's over concern with his carpet, ignoring the impending doom is funny.

That ending was a surprise, which is refreshing. It also added to the comedy of the writing, because it makes it seem as though the man was the last straw.

Suggestions
There needs to be a little clarity with why the man is being the way he is. Death suggests something about maybe he drank bleach, but we never really learn why the man is not getting things very clearly. There could be a lot of reasons that you could add in, like maybe the man is intoxicated or has smoked a lot of marijuana. You could easily add this element into the dialogue.

Final thoughts
This was a light and fun read. It gave me a good chuckle. Thanks for sharing your sense of humor with me.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

204

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4347775

Review of "I'm trying to write something here..."

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"

. Welcome to the biggest review war her on WdC, "Game of Thrones"

First impression

Well, I suppose he got out of that one! Funny.

Strengths
There is a lot of character development here for such a short write. The annoyance was shown clearly in the character death. I felt like I was watching a silly television skit, maybe from MAD or something like that.

I like how he just casually tells Death to get him a dictionary. The nonchalance of it all is pretty comical. Of course we learn he is so nonchalant is because his soul is already taken anyways. Then ending it with Death doing pretty much the same thing works well with this and makes for the perfect conclusion.

Structurally this is written well. I imagine this was written for a dialogue only contest possibly. You did well making it clear who is speaking without the whole "he said" or body language. As a matter of fact, through the dialogue I could imagine the body language. Of course, the writer would seem all unaffected by Death, ignoring him, while Death keeps getting more annoyed.

Suggestions
This is a well written dialogue story, so I have no suggestions to offer that would improve on it.

Final thoughts
This was an entertaining read. Thanks for sharing your imagination with me.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

205

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4347716

Review of The Night I Ate My Words

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: E

| (5.0)

I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"

. Welcome to the biggest review war her on WdC, "Game of Thrones"

First impression

This was cute. I like how you personified your username.

Strengths
There is a lot of character development here, even in such a short write. I am thinking that the Hoove's human is you somewhat. The description of the annoyed human makes me think of a cartoon. You know when they get mad in cartoons and their ears begin to steam and eyes bug out? That is the kind of image I got, but with the addition of profanities being spoken.

The plot of Hooves getting stuck in the library was interesting. Then that little twist at the end gave me a giggle.

Grammatically and structurally this is written well. There were no confusing bits to fumble over.

Suggestions
Honestly, I could not find any fault with this. It is a well written story, so there is nothing that I could suggest that would improve on it more.

Final thoughts
I enjoyed the giggles. It was light and humorous. I'm interested in reading more adventures of Hooves and her human. Thank you for sharing your sense of humor with me and I look forward to reading more around your port.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

206

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14 days may be credited.

#4347695

Review of MY MOM IS THE WORST COOK IN THE WORLD!

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: E

| (3.5)

I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"

. Welcome to the biggest review war her on WdC, "Game of Thrones"

First impression

Good thing your dad is such a great cook! I can so relate, my mother can not cook either. Her favorite thing to cook was meat loaf held together with instant mashed potato flakes

Strengths
The plot, I am sure many can relate to. Not all mothers know how to cook, obviously. There are some comedy elements to this. For example, the hot dogs blowing up in the microwave.

I kind of felt sorry for your mother with the noodle issue. Apparently nobody told her to make sure the water is boiling before putting the noodles in. The soggy outside and hard inside is what happens when you put them in the cold water, before it starts boiling.

For the most part, this is grammatically correct. Paragraphs flow smoothly without any confusing bits.

Suggestions
There is more telling than showing in this story. In other words, you tell us what happens. By showing, you would need to add dialogue, scenery into the actions, and more visual descriptions.

Final thoughts
This was a cute story and many, I am sure, can relate to it. Thanks for sharing this humorous aspect of your mother with WdC.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

207

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4347686

Review of The Reluctant Patient

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"

. Welcome to the biggest review war her on WdC, "Game of Thrones"

First impression
After all the emotional reads yesterday in the medical genre, having a good laugh with your story was refreshing.

Strengths
This was hilarious. That little smoking distraction was good, because I so did not expect that punchline.

Structurally, this is well written. Paragraphs flow smoothly without any gaps that are confusing. Dialogue is done really well, showing plenty of character development. You also avoid the overuse of "he said" and "she said" and instead utilize a lot of body language.

The relationship between the husband and wife was realistic and somewhat stereotypical of marriages. Her concern for him was also a distraction, because it is easy to assume that a wife would be worried about her husband's smoking and be annoyed by the smell of it. The whole bit of the husband being reluctant to go to the doctor is pretty stereotypical of men and then so is the wife being pushy about it. These characteristics made the story believable.

Suggestions
Honestly, this is well written and I could not find anything to suggest that would improve on the writing.

Final thoughts
I enjoyed the good laugh. Thank you for sharing your humor with me.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

208

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14 days may be credited.

#4347680

Review of The Blue Bag Patrol

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"

. Welcome to the biggest review war her on WdC, "Game of Thrones"

First impression
This is a story that only a dog owner could fully appreciate and I am a dog owner. I got a good chuckle from this story.

Strengths
That whole bit in the beginning with the conversation between you and your husband was a good hook for your story. It is a comical reality of pet ownership, or at least those who really care for their pets enough to pay attention to their health.

Yes, that whole poop deal is important when evaluating the health of your pet. I remember laughing at the chart in the Veterinarians office that shows different dog poops from healthiest to less healthy.

When you mention how your dog stares at you, waiting for you to pick up his poop so that he can get his treat, it makes me think of my boyfriend's dog. He does the same thing on sidewalks. You can take him for a walk somewhere and he will not go. Then we can be sitting at a coffee shop outside and he will go under the table and poo. I just don't get it

. Luckily mine just likes to find a tall weed to hike her butt up on, so at least she goes in grassy areas.

This was well structured and a comical read that us dog owners can fully appreciate. Poop does become a topic quite often. Like you mention, it is not much different than having a child. Poop is a topic quite a bit when you have a new baby.

Suggestions
Honestly, I could not find any errors in this. Structurally and grammatically it is well written.

Final thoughts
Well, be thankful your dog doesn't eat tampons and underwear. We have learned to leave the bathroom trash and laundry up high, because mine likes to eat used tampons and chew the crotches out of women's dirty underwear. Dogs are gross, but you gotta love them.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

209

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4347184

Review of An Angel

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: E

| (3.5)

I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House"

! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones"

First Impression
This is a very emotive poem that shows the emotions of a parent who struggles with dealing with a child with cancer.

Strengths
I love the way you repeat the lines with the words "white". It strongly reinforces the aspects of innocence, which is fitting since this is a young child.

When you mention, "I thought i would give her her wedding pearls", there seems to be a realization that at some point Cancer will take the child.

I noticed that the shape of the poem seems to take the form of an angel towards the top. I don't know if that was your intention, but it actually is an interesting aspect of this poem.

Suggestions
You repeatedly use the word angle, rather than angel. Angle is a shape, but angel is the winged celestial being

.

In this place my baby girl lays down. - this is a sentence fragment, so I would suggest either rephrasing or adding a comma after the preceding line.

But then her little laugh only makes me cry,- There needs to be a comma before "but", not a period.

Final thoughts
This was a sweet and emotive poem. It is sad that so many innocent children have to face such a circumstance and your poem expresses those emotions clearly.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

210

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4347136

Review of The Abortion Controversy

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House"

! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones"

First Impression
This poem clearly shows the ignorance within both views. No wonder it is such a controversial subject. It was refreshing to read something on such a controversial topic, where the writer writes it, showing all sides, as if they are an observer looking in.

Strengths
Rhymes flow really well without seeming forced. You even use some less commonly used rhymes such as "stillborn" and "shopworn".

The writing is literal and to the point, which is fitting for the perspectives that you are presenting.

Like you express, there are issues with both points of views, which of course is why it is a difficult subject for anyone to agree on.

I like how you use a birth analogy, "stillborn", to explain how the two find resolve between each other. It is both fitting for what happens in abortion arguments and fitting to the subject of the poem.

Suggestions
Honestly, this is a great poem as is, so I have no suggestions on making it better.

Final thoughts
I appreciate your open-mind in looking at all sides of the situation. This was a great read.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

211

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4347109

Review of Spooky Echoes

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House"

! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones"

First Impression
We have something in common. I also was there with a parent watching them die. Like you with your mother. For me, this poem gave me goose bumps because I remember the feeling of reflecting and seeing the contrast in their demise.

Strengths
You use enjambment well here, which heightens the emotional reaction in the reader. Analogies are unique too, which is refreshing. In the beginning of the poem, when you reflect back, the analogy used really shows the pain that you feel when you look back. It is as if you have painful memories that you tried to forget, but you can't seem to dust them away.

Then that second stanza is haunting, because it further explains the unwanted memories. Since the oxygen concentrator is a ghost, the reader knows that someone is dead. Then it is shocking when we find out that it is your mother. You show how amazing she was by expressing that she was a single mother who raised four children on her own, yet you keep seeing her dying in her bed.

Suggestions
This was an excellent free verse and I can not find anyways that I can suggest to make it even better.

Final thoughts
Like your mother, my step-father (whom I considered Dad), was also a very strong person, but like you, I always see him gasping for breath in a bed. That is an image that is difficult to erase from the mind and you display the emotions perfectly here.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

212

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14 days may be credited.

#4347084

Review of I'm so tired of blood

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House"

! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones"

First Impression
This was an emotional write and as one who does not suffer the disorder, I get a strong understanding of the emotional struggles one faces.

Strengths
The emotive qualities are the strongest aspects of this poem. The whole bit about blood explaining the visual and how it tastes, really sets the stage for this poem. Then when you go into how it is to live daily dictated by your blood, the life restricting qualities are really shown. The part in church where the machine beeps inside your bra kind of informs the audience as well as shows your embarrassment.

I like how you use enjambment to intensify emotion. For example, the area in church, putting church line after checking the beeping in your bra, rather than before gives a little bit of an emotional shock to the reader. If it were reversed the affect would not be the same.

Suggestions
This is an excellent poem, so I can not come up with anything to suggest that would make this even better.

Final thoughts
Your vivid words and analogy in this poem were moving and really helped me, as the reader understand the emotional struggles of one with Diabetes. Great poem.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

213

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14 days may be credited.

#4347078

Review of Scarlet Fever

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: E

| (4.5)

I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House"

! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones"

First Impression
The imagery presented here greatly personifies what scarlet fever feels like to the victim of it. I have not experienced the ailment, but by reading your verse I have a strong understanding of the intensity of the fever. Though, it also seems that there is an underlining meaning to this poem. It is as if you are equating it to lust.

Strengths
There are a lot of emotive qualities in this poem that bring the reader into the shoes of someone who is suffering from Scarlet Fever. The comparison with looming in reference to the rising body temperatures was a very creative analogy.

"Seems it's always been her
I fumble every pass"

The above lines give signify that this might be about lust

. I do love a poem that really makes me think.

Suggestions
You use the analogy about fireflies and flames which is cliche. Going by the rest of your poem, I can see that you are creative enough to come up with a more unique analogy. Using cliches diminishes the emotive qualities of the poem.

Final thoughts
This is a great poem with apparent dual meanings. I love how you compared Scarlet Fever to lust. Excellent poem.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

214

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4347064

Review of Please Help Me, Doctor!

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: E

| (5.0)

I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House"

! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones"

First Impression
I like how you show that things have not gotten better in the medical field by equating the past to the present, where money determines quality of care. Well, the poem is from the past, but the statement at the end expresses that the trend continues today.

Strengths
Using different colors to show speech between the doctor and you was a good idea to keep out confusion of who is speaking.

I had to shake my head when the doctor pretty much tells you as a boy to brush it off and go play. The several ailments might be an over exaggeration, but it works to show how faulty the medical field is when it comes to taking better care of people who have money.

Rhymes are consistent with your chosen abcb pattern, and none of them seem forced, which helps this poem flow well.

Suggestions
This is a well written verse, so I don't really have any suggestions for making it even better.

Final thoughts
This was a great poem to show how corrupt our medical system is and how it has been a trend throughout history. It flowed well and had some great emotive qualities.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

215

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14 days may be credited.

#4347033

Review of Crazy in Love

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House"

! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones"

First Impression
I am a bit warped, but I love a good love story that includes the mentally ill. So, I totally get this.

Strengths
There are some interesting analogies here. I like how you describe love with those who are considered insane as " harmonic laughs of two speechless sweethearts". That is an interesting perception. Mental illness runs in my family and, something that I have evaluated is that there is a particular rawness and realness about how they express emotions. So, I can see how you can evaluate this as sweet and harmonic.

"Through the stretched skin of conjoined twins"- I love how you explain that connection to another as conjoined twins. Nicely stated.

Then you take this to a more extreme level with more sociopath lunacy, which many would disagree about them actually understanding real love. But, it is all up to interpretation, so maybe their perception is more intense.

Suggestions
You seem to have forgotten to include some punctuation. The first half of the poem doesn't have ending punctuation, but the second half does. Maybe decide which way you prefer to go and make it consistent throughout.

Final thoughts
I enjoyed your non-conformist views on love. It was refreshing to read something that gives another viewpoint that most do not consider.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

216

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14 days may be credited.

#4347027

Review of Rebecca

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: E

| (4.5)

I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House"

! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones"

First Impression
By the description, I came to the conclusion that this would be about being on morphine while having Multiple Sclerosis. This helped in understanding the poem. It seems as if you are describing the feeling that brings you back to a whimsical time in childhood, while also contrasting it with the pain of the disorder.

Strengths
There is some great imagery here. I may be reading too much into it, but When you mention fluids fueling your muse, it shows to me that the two stanzas about childhood is what the Morphine feels like. That is an excellent analogy to explain the drowsy, daydreaming feeling the drug gives.

Then you share some strong imagery about the pain. I particularly love the following lines:
"my flesh will take its time corroding,
tormenting toxic bombs exploding;
within this shriveled shell of stone."

With these lines, the pain you feel is clearly shown to a high degree.

Suggestions
the dark eternity I browse.- The reversal of the subject and predicate here interrupts the flow of the poem.

Final thoughts
This is a very emotive poem, filled with imagery that clearly shows the contrast of the pain you feel in the disorder and the feeling when that pain is numbed through drugs.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

217

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4346502

Review of The North Remembers

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House"

! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones"

First Impression
There is a rumor going around that you sit and plot all year on how to challeng GoTers. I think that there is truth to that.

Strengths
It is apparent that a lot of thought and preparation went into this torture chamber. I love the names of the wheel turns by the way! Very creative.

The rules are easy to understand if you actually read them. I appreciate how you add that those who forfit have to wait another 72 hours before spinning again. It is only fair, especially to those who actually complete their activity.

The 24 hour wait thing is good too, because there are people like me who actually work and can not sit around spinning a wheel all day. Then those who do not work would rack up all the points

.

I love how the different rooms incorporate involvement between the different houses by tagging other teams. There is a lot of room for houses to strategize, which makes the game a lot more fun.

Suggestions
This is well thought out and way beyond anything I would creatively think up, so I have no ideas for making it even better. It is excellent as is.

Final thoughts
Thank you for all the time you have put together creating this awesome activity.

Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

218

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4346496

Review of Poetic Traditions Poetry Contest

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: E

| (5.0)

I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House"

! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones"

First Impression
It has been a while since I have entered this contest, but I do think that it an important contribution to WdC.

Strengths
I appreciate that this encourages creativity through structured verse. It seems that the modern fads lack appreciation for meter, which is an important part of writing poetry.

The page is constructed well with rules being easy to follow without any confusing bits. You are also clear on what rewards are.

The fact that you share previous winners is an ego boost to writers, encouraging them to submit more writing. What writer doesn't like their writing highlighted.

Suggestions
This contest is put together well, so I have no suggestions for improvement.

Final thoughts
This is an excellent contest that encourages the appreciation for metered and rhyming poetry. It is truly an excellent contest and I hope that it continues to run for a long time.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

219

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4346489

Review of Twisted Tales Contest

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House"

! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones"

First Impression
This is an excellent contest that encourages aspects that make for great story writing.

Strengths
I like that you enforce the importance of more than one twist in a story. It encourages a better quality of writing.

Rules are clear without any confusing bits. The page has an explanation of possible awards, which is helpful for those who submit. You even let your entrants know that "you hate sad stories". Good to know if a writer is known for their emotional writing.

It is pretty neat that you offer to review all entrants and even give them gps for entering.

Suggestions
The contest is put together well, and honestly I can not find any way that I would suggest to improve on it. The only complaint I would have is that I am not skilled enough to win it

Final thoughts
Maybe I will submit to this again. Only with practice will I even get better anyhow. This is a great contest and I hope it continues to get more entrants.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

220

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4346474

Review of The Survivalist

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House"

! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones"

First Impression
So, Robert turned you into a flesh eating sex zombie and you turned him into a roach. Funny! This story gave me a giggle.

Strengths
The character development was done well with the subject of the story. His transition and emotions toward it were shown well.

Going by your rants and political poetry, I can't help but think that the president he rants about is futuristic version of Trump.

The transition toward turning into a roach was done really well. I suspected that he was turning into a roach, but then again, I have a warped mind. Not everyone would come to that conclusion.

Suggestions
This a well crafted short write and error free, so I have no suggestions to give.

Final thoughts
This was perfect for Distorted Minds and it was an entertaining read. Hopefully you will continue to contribute in future rounds.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

221

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4346442

Review of Rushin' Intelligence

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: E

| (5.0)

I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House"

! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones"

First Impression
Although I do not hold all the political views as you, I do find your political themed poetry entertaining and well crafted.

Strengths
The poem flows well, almost dancing like a funny political song, sang folk-like. Rhymes are consistent without any feeling forced.

My favorite aspect here is the sarcasm. You use a topic that many agree is something wrong going on with our political system and churn it into a comedic verse. With all the memes going around poking fun at trump, it is a challenge to come up with wording that would not be cliche, but you accomplished it.

Suggestions
This is an expertly crafted poem and I have no suggestions that would improve on it. It is awesome as is.

Final thoughts
Thank you for sharing your comedic views and hopefully you will continue to share your poetry with the Rebel Poetry Contest.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

222

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4346438

Review of The Flame Of Mortality

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House"

! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones"

First Impression
This was horrific, but symbolic at the same time. As always I have enjoyed the read into your demented mind.

Strengths
Some of the best horror stories derive from the horror writers nightmares, so it is interesting that you chose a nightmare as a dream. The whole heart in a box is an interesting concept.

Maybe it is because I am a poet, but for me, it seems as though the significance of removing the heart for the nightmares to stop is to remove emotion, so that they will stop. Or, maybe I am just reading too much into it.

The atmosphere with the dark room and single candle gives that creepy image, which is fitting for horror and this dark tale.

Suggestions
Honestly, I could not find any ways that I could suggest improvement. This is well edited and an excellent read as is.

Final thoughts
Well, I love horror, so with it being a free genre review day with GoT I had to stop by your lovely port and of course I was not disappointed.
Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

223

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4346412

Review of Saving Grace

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House"

! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones"

First Impression
This is an excellent magical tell. As always your poetic skills shine through.

Strengths
Rhymes are consistent throughout with your aabb rhyme scheme. None seem forced and when read out loud the poem flows smoothly.

The imagery in the uncovering of the story is one of the best aspects of this poem. The relationship between the girl and dragon makes this story. Then you threw in a little mythology and history with Atlantis and Casa Nuevo, which adds to the extravagance of the story.

Suggestions
This is a well crafted poem and I do not have any advice to apply that would improve on this already excellent poem.

Final thoughts
I enjoyed the magical ride with your dragon story in a poem. You did well with this prompt and it is deserving of the ribbon that adorns it.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

224

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4346395

Review of The Lady and the Dragon

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: 13+

| (3.5)

I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House"

! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones"

First Impression
This is a lovely epic tale told in poetic verse. I enjoyed the beauty of your words and the story that you tell.

Strengths
The story that you tell using imagery is the best part of this. The kinship between the woman and the dragon as her protector is a magically sweet aspect to this poem.

Although it does not rhyme it flows well due to somewhat consistent meter.

Suggestions

Replies the dragon, rough and rudely,/Let me be upon your back.- I really don't think that you meant that the dragon wanted to be on someone's back and instead meant that the someone else wanted to be on his back. So, I would consider adding some clarity here.

Disdains the dragon simple steel.- This line makes no sense. Did you mean "simple still" or were you meaning that the dragon was saying, "simple steel" to mock someone with a sword?

With its claws, honed and ivory,/ Tears the gem from the soul.- This is a sentence fragment, so I would suggest either rephrasing or changing the punctuation.

Final thoughts
This is truly a sweet magical tell and I have enjoyed the read. Hopefully you will get around to editing this in the future.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

225

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4346382

Review of The Dragon Pearl

Review by Warped Sanity

In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House"

! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones"

First Impression
This was an excellent use of the prompt words that were given. It tells a wonderfully imaginative story as well.

Strengths
The strength here is in the imagery used to tell this story in poetic form. It takes the reader to that world of fantasy where dragons fly freely and wizards cast spells. The idea of adding a magical pearl into the verse was very creative.

Rhymes are consistant with some less common rhymes like "gem" and "djinni".

Suggestions
So that he could his story expound.- The reversal of the subject and predicate in this line makes it seem forced, which interrupts with the flow. Maybe consider rearranging the sentence and visiting some sister rhymes to correct it.

Also, capitalization with every beginning line is unneeded. Visually, it would be better if you only added capitalization where puctuaation requires it.

Final thoughts
This was an enjoyable read and I loved your imaginative take on the prompts. I enjoyed the journey expressed in your verse.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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