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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/wat2ryte
Review Requests: OFF
22 Public Reviews Given
22 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I'm an easy style reviewer. If the sentence is too long, I will simply ask, is it possible to say the point in fewer words? I enjoy reading, so I will look for the flow of your sentence, paragraph structure. Only if the punctuation alters your meaning will I point that out, otherwise I may assume you will catch that in your editing process..
I'm good at...
encouragement and affirmation. I love sharing insight. telling stories, and sharing what as inspired me with others. helping with research. Understanding sentence structure. Reading….
Favorite Genres
Relationships - Sports - Spiritual themes - animal stories( not cruelty) - Health issues - nutrition - Body language - social sciences - hiking - family - nature - travel - running - history - art - music - education - youth
Least Favorite Genres
game/fishing - boating - crafts - witchcraft - occult - horror - weather -
Favorite Item Types
Baseball, Basketball - Diet and Nutrition - Church life - School life - writing - teaching - community outreach - Poetry - short stories - essays -
Least Favorite Item Types
motorcycles - circus -
I will not review...
Anything involving the occult.
Public Reviews
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Review of The Tooth Puller  Open in new Window.
Review by Antway Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Duane:
Your piece regarding the craftsman and his tools is intriguing. The reader can quickly apply the principles of the 'tooth pullers' to any craft or talent people may have. There is always a way to take the mind off the unbearable pain, in those needing special help.

I appreciated the unspoken tension of an apparent dirty city, and the non caring attitude of its citizens ( assuming those hurrying by in the carriage were visiting), against the tooth puller ( and his apprentice) heading to a bar to numb a patient and pull his tooth out.

Of course, the emotions of reading this story, range from anticipation, to disgust as you let the reader in on the "life and wisdom of an 'expert' while performing his craft"

Good job on creating sentences that move toward the dramatic, but true statement of life. Blood can and often does make money for many!

Hmmm... left this reader wondering if the apprentice ever became a successful 'tooth puller!'

You are great at writing irony with a twist of mystery!!



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Off With His Head  Open in new Window.
Review by Antway Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Keaten:

Well perhaps it's difficult to come up with a better ending when your head is off!!! lol

You give us an immediate description of the executioner's disposition with regard to carrying out his job! God is in the judging business, and determines the fate of all surrounding the death of a human, by any means. I appreciate your letting the reader in on how you, the describer of this process is considering how you got into this position. In that sense, it is quite metaphorically clear that many human beings have a responsibility in their fate at the head-cutting-off stump.

In your sentence that states "I did a real bad thing, but compared to this, such a thing was child's play...." as I continue to mull over that, is leaving me a bit bewildered. what is "this" referring to? I will continue of course to read it in its context to make sure I know what you are referring to. But perhaps identifying the culprit would certainly help to know deeper your feeling as the axe is falling!

I can feel the emotion, that one goes through in your writing, when speaking out on any issue, with intent to rectify or bring attention to a matter. By the directing order of a Powerful figure, life is fragile. It can end with the impulse of a short tempered individual.

The power of writing, especially truth, can result in 'shoot from the hip' danger, which after all, ends the future power of the poet, cause the voice is silenced! Now if you can think about a flash back to what led to the axe falling, your ending can be more heroic and life changing for all who remain! or I suppose we can all live with a short lived poet!! smile...

Great start to an intriguing lesson on life. Keep reflecting!! Thanks for sharing!!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by Antway Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Beth:
Thanks for sharing those heartfelt thoughts! Many, including this reader can identify with hard times. Many have tried the self-medicate approach to dealing with those rough bumps in their journey. But you have helped us all to understand that God never leaves us nor forsakes us. Like a pilot who warns of choppy weather up ahead fasten your seat belt, so God lets us know that "through the valley of the shadow of death", we need not fear evil, cause He is with us.

I appreciate your vulnerability in sharing that God places people in our lives who are his angels sent to help us at the right moment. We may have ignored or rejected them earlier in our lives, but preserved for moments of affliction they are indeed a welcomed presence for that "off road" moment.

I'm glad you didn't keep this in. Many will have their lives turned around because of your sharing!

Stay strong in the arms of Jesus, and keep writing as a testimony and inspiration for many!!!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Dreams  Open in new Window.
Review by Antway Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Sarah: I'm glad to read that it was written WHEN life sucked!! I can take a chance and validate that it no longer sucks.. or is not as bad.

I was drawn into the piece by the opening line. The words, "the only escape...." gave me a feeling that all other options had been explored leading to the only.... If this is what was intended then it certainly locks one into reading on to see if the only way of escape was taken, or is there another? As this night goes on, the moon is a symbol that lights up a worsening condition. I commend you for providing a line that leads deeper into this known to the author, but unknown to the reader, terror.

You appear to have a future in "Mystery writing" I think all humans can relate to some point in life where their past is cautiously lurking. A nice description for guilt and anger that hangs around! "always a menace to a sacred secret" is a deep truth!

It is a piece that is powerful for those contemplating ending it all. As the author though, I trust that expression ( in this case writing about it), has been a perfect medicine to prevent ending a life!
Cause after all, the world would miss this real thought and truth!

Keep writing! and I look for a victory follow up soon!!
good job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
5
5
Review by Antway Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Ronil .

An in depth look at the greed of many in business and politics! Reminds me of the phrase, "Powerful corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." It does seem like Solomon's observation in Proverbs, that bribes work. People appear to have high standards and lofty goals when they enter positions of power, many proclaiming that they will be different. Your point that these positions are to be servant focused, is a point long disregarded in public service offices around our country and the world.

I appreciate your point that stewardship is simply taking care of that which is not ours. In Biblical times, it was duly noted along with other historical facts regarding nations of power, that many "Kingdoms" crumbled when they no longer took care of their poor. It appears that even in recruiting employment to certain "classified" jobs, that the appeal to one's greed and how they respond or shows a propensity toward avarice is almost a high criteria to be selected. John Perkins, in his book, "Confessions of An Economic Hit Man" certainly bears that shocking revelation regarding him being targeted at a young age as a candidate for ripping the natural resources of countries around the world at the expense of the poor.

As you briefly pointed to a resolution of the planets disposition towards a more powerful and greedy existence, it can be disheartening to think that, legislation of any kind, "No Child Left Behind", "Faith Based Initiatives", "Lottery to improve Our Schools", even "ObamaCare", that somewhere lurking in the bushes surrounding the good heartedness is the dark corporate lobbying, politician pocket percentages, to assure that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. We need a heart change. The understanding that we all are accountable to a higher judge when all is said and done. Perhaps what your essay did for me is challenge me to commit to servanthood, as an antidote to greed. Maybe if it starts with the two of us, it will spread faster than an epidemic like plague!

As you pointed out, before we even read an account of selfishness's entrance into this world in the book of Genesis, greed was present. Perhaps the last book of the Bible points to a time after it, when the call comes to the 'TRUE STEWARDS" to get away from that power, and don't be engaged in the pop culture of controlling others by ruling all of the resources of the world:

3"For all the nations have drunk of the wine of the passion of her immorality.…and the merchants of the earth have become rich by the wealth of her sensuality." Then I heard another voice from heaven saying, “Come out of her, my people, lest you take part in her sins, lest you share in her plagues;…"
Revelation 18:3,4

Here's to an unselfish Kingdom soon to be a reality…
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Review of Golden Rule  Open in new Window.
Review by Antway Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
50's Child - Thank you for your insight into the Golden Rule. I agree that generally speaking, our parents should be teachers and models of how we are to interact with other people. Parents are stewards given the responsibility to care for the next generation, and cultivate them to make the world a better place to live.

Life seems to go well when others treat us so well. What can become a stormy part of life's journey is when the unexpected or even the expected "rude or nasty" character enters our space. How we adjust, agree or disagree with these intrusive darts to an otherwise smooth path, makes all the difference in the world. You have shared your experience that provides one of the best examples of the golden rule. To be in retail and calmly address the irate customer is a calling of the highest order!! The statement you read that has set a responsible parameter for you to operate in, is funny but insightful!! Thanks for being such a great model, and showing many that cordiality in the face of subtle and overt attacks can still be a choice.

Your essay pictured you in a world full of cynicism, as one who has been a shining light. Although you are no longer in the retail business, you are still following your calling to train and teach this important quality of life to demonstrate. I am reminded of one of Solomon's wise sayings regarding intense situations with the brash tempered humans of the earth:

15 A soft answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge,
but the mouths of fools pour out folly.
3 The eyes of the Lord are in every place,
keeping watch on the evil and the good.
4 A gentle[a] tongue is a tree of life,
but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

Proverbs 15:1-4
English Standard Version (ESV)

What can help many, is studying the lives of those "peacemakers" who are both famous and not so famous. These are refreshing personalities that war against the television images of those who chose to solve disagreements with violence or intimidation.

Blessed are the peacemakers
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