This is really well done. There are some really beautiful lines here (I think my favourite is "Her smile no longer flew adrift, Along the edges of his heart")
I would say you'd benefit from focusing on the 'flow' of the poem. Some of these stanzas have a real rhythm to them, the first one especially, but there are other where there are just one or two extra syllables that make it slightly clunky to read.
Overall, a lovely piece. Thank you for sharing it.
P.S. Sucks to hear about the break up. Hope you're doing okay. :)
So glad somebody decided to use this universe for some GTS material! I wanted to but it turns out you can no longer make interactives with a free account:(
Anyway, fantastic idea!! It's also nice to see a handful of decent writers adding to it.
I've had so much fun reading this and adding chapters to it myself and plan on continuing to do so for a long time!;)
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