I am hooked on this story and look forward to reading the rest of it. I love wolves and people who can shapeshift into wolves really interest me.
There are a few things that need to be looked at with this story. First thing, because there is swearing in this story it can't be rated E for everyone due to Writing.com's rules.
Second, there is a grammar issue that I can't let go because it drives me crazy. In the sentence "Summers were pretty isolated for my dad and I." It should be dad and me or me and dad because you shouldn't use I with a preposition. If you take my dad out of the sentence it makes no sense. "Summers were pretty isolated for I" use this senerio if you ever question whether you should use I or me.
Third, there are several punctuation errors and this story could use a re-read and a polishing.
That's it for now. I look forward to reading more or your work.
I love the way you wrote this poem. It is slightly mysterious to what it actually going on and it would make a great song, in fact, it reminds me of songs written by the band called The Cure. I love how there is at least one sentence that repeats from the previous stanza and when you get to the end it repeats from the first stanza.
There are a few things that could be fixed, like cacaphony. I do believe it is spelled cacophony. and steel toed should be hyphenated so that it is steel-toed.
I love how this poem was written getting a little shorter each line. and it looks like an airplane wing. It is a fun poem to read and it was descriptive enough to really picture what was happening. It made me laugh a little by the end and made me wonder what the teacher did to the student that made the airplane.
I didn't notice any technical errors and I figure that it was planned out well and re-read quite a few times and polished over. I don't see any way to really improve upon it. It is a job well done.
Wow. I loved, Loved, Loved, this story. It was compelling from the start and I couldn't stop reading it. I had to know what happened by every word I read and I couldn't wait to get to the end to finally find out what was going to happen.
It was well written and I didn't notice any grammatical or punctuation errors.
I feel that it had been read over and polished quite well and I don't see any way to improve upon it.
I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
Great Work. I can see why it was given an award in a contest.
This poem has a nostalgic tone. It is nice to have an adult in your life who is encouraging. I wish that I would have had that in my life and maybe I would have done a lot better than what I have. You are a lucky person. I found one grammatical mistake but if it was how you wrote it, it wouldn't be right, however, I just wanted to point it out: "And when I did good" Good should be well, but this is your poem and there is no need to change it unless you can figure out how and make it sound right. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
This is a very beautiful poem. I can tell that you have paid close attention to detail with the wording. It feels like a lot of time and thought was put into this poem. It is thought-provoking and makes me feel like the point of view is that of a young adult who has just realized that there is more to like then his or hers wants. I don't really know how to improve this poem. It looks like it has been re-read and polished up quite nicely. There are no noticeable errors. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Not sure if this is from personal experience, or just from observation, but it sounds like a story of the life of a parent with adult children and missing her children. It is hard to have your children grow up and see them not need you anymore when you are the one who has taken care of them for at least eighteen years. When they don't need you anymore, it just has to be hard. I enjoyed the insight very much as I have a two-year-old who needs me more than anything right now. But one day he will want to be on his own, and the thought of that is so hard, especially since my son has a mild case of cerebral palsy. As for the writing itself, I found a few errors, but they were few. There is a spot where you have put your and it should be you're. I think with a re-read you could polish it off and take care of the few minor infractions. I look forward to reading more of your work.
This story started out promising, but I feel like it is missing a few "days". I am very interest in what happens on the other days. What I did read was very well done and even flowed well. It has some punctuation and grammar issues, but nothing that a read through and a little polishing can't fix. I look forward to reading the rest of this story and some of your other work.
This poem makes me feel nostalgic like when I was a kid and summer felt longer than it should have. It was well written and flowed quite well making it easy to read. I didn't find any noticeable mistakes. Not sure how to improve it, it seems perfect the way it is. It looks like it had a good polishing at least once. I look forward to reading more of your work.
I enjoyed reading this insight into the life of a school teacher. It was easy to read and even a little informative. I didn't notice any punctuation, grammar, or other technical errors. Over all, I found this to be a very well done work. I hope to read more of your writing in the future.
I love your poem about the winged unicorn, but then I love fantasy creatures of all sorts. It was well written and it looks like it was very well thought out. I didn't find any noticeable punctuation errors, however, in the line Then she rest upon a bed of warm starlight; it should be rests not rest. Other than that, I didn't see any other mistakes. This poem feels magical and whimsical and would make a really good story. I hope to read more of your work.
Where to start? I really enjoyed the idea of this story. A cursed lamp that grants wishes and the last wish releases a cursed family from the lamp and replaces it with the family that makes the wishes, is a wonderful idea for a story. This story is really rough and has lots and lots of punctuation errors and also it flips flops from the husband telling the story to the wife telling the story to a third person point of view, which makes the story a little confusing. Sticking with one point of view is the best way to tell a story. I feel that with some time and work, this story will polish up nicely. One last thing, It's been rated E for everyone and it has some swearing in it as well as replacement words that aren't swear words per-say, like dang, but if they are used, it can't be rated E for everyone. I see a lot of creativity in you, so keep trying and you will get a lot better. Writing is something that has to be worked at to become good. Practice is the key to accomplishments.
I really don't know where to begin. This poem was amazing and the wording painted colors and pictures of calmness and relaxation. I really didn't notice any major errors and the structure was well done. The poem reminded me of Shakespear's writings. Over all, I really enjoyed this poem and would love to read more of your work.
I liked the premise of this story, but then, I love fairies. What I loved most about it was Kat. I found her to be a very cute character. The story itself was very rough and didn't really flow, and I found many punctuation errors. There was a line that felt like it was missing a word too.
Chin towards the corner where the green shape had vanished,
Also, the story feels like it is missing vital information and needed a little more character development, however, if it was written for a contest I understand that sometimes it is hard to give a lot of detail.
Over all, I felt that I would like to know a little more about this world and the characters in it and I would definitely like to read more of your work.
A very nice Haiku. I can tell a lot of thought and time was spent in the creation of this wonderful poem. It gave me a feeling togetherness and routine. I can relate to it, immensely, as it sounds a lot like my life, very routine, but when you have a toddler you have to have routine. I will defiantly be reading more from this author.
I loved this poem and found it very thought provoking. It was beautifully written and the story is very vivid and paints a picture. It was so visual that I could see the poem as opposed to just reading words. I would love to read more entries by this author.
What I like about this poem is the honesty of the author. It was very cute and I love the rhyming and the flow of the poem. It provoked feelings of nostalgia for time that has past because I think about the past a lot and I always find it hard to believe that this day will never happen again. For instance, 8-4-2017 is gone and will never happen ever again. I feel that this poem was well written for its intent and I would enjoy reading anything else from this author.
I loved that this story was about the end of all life on our world and that in the end, those who had hope were saved from being destroyed. It was very thought provoking and made me wish that all the world leaders would read this story because maybe they would realize that all life is important and worth saving What I didn't like about this story is how rough it felt. It didn't flow as well as I would have liked. What need to be changed in this story is that there were a lot of missing commas and without the commas, there were thoughts that felt like they ran on and on and on. That said, I would still like to read more from this author and look forward to it.
I was really interested in reading this story but half way through it really lost my attention. I felt like it droned on and on with descriptions of the island that really didn't feel like it had anything to do with What happened to Danny and was really unnecessary. I actually had to stop reading because my brain was starting to hurt. However, what I did read was promising in the fact that I could tell that the author really wanted the reader to know how it felt to be on the island and what the native beliefs were which despite not finishing the story, I have a feeling that what the natives believed had something to do with the reason the story is named "What happened to Danny". There were parts that flowed well and others that were really rough. And I also felt like it repeated a lot of things over and over again, giving me a very Dejavu feeling.
In conclusion, this story needs some work.
Hello Camron, my name is A.J. and I enjoyed your poem very much. I found it very thought provoking in the sense that it made me realize that from the day we are born we start to die, and also gave me a sense of feeling very vulnerable. When I was a much younger person I used to spend a lot of time out at night and it reminded me of those days that have long past. I would have to say that the thing I really liked most about this poem is that it gave me a feeling of nostalgia and that is a feeling I love most. I know that we shouldn't live in the past, but I had an awesome childhood. The thing I liked least about it is a feeling of being naked and I don't like feeling that way. What I would change about this poem is the flow. It felt a little clumsy in the middle and at the end. However, this poem is very memorable and I would really like to read more of your poetry. Thanks for writing such a great thinkers poem.
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