You are rapidly becoming one of my favorites to read! This was beautifully done and it has a wonderful flow and rhythym. My favorite line is "when someone decided progress was worth suicide.' That's a gorgeous line, I must admit, and absolutely true. All in all, this is a great poem. Don't change a thing!
I really like how the story is written, from Emma's point of view. I love how she imagines how they met, and you can really feel that it's her way of dealing with the trauma and stress of the situation. I would've liked a little more information on the crash, because it was a bit confusing in the beginning. I could really picture the scenes she was imagining, so you did a great job with the imagery. All in all, a good story and you left wanting to know what happened to these people afterward, how they coped with it all. Also, and I don't know if it was my computer loading or what, but the end sentence of your story might have been cut off?
Really good flow to the poem, I liked the rythym. I love the first line, as momentary jerk can be taken two ways. It struck a chord with me because it's a pretty accurate description of what I think the afterlife is like. The only thing I can really critique is the use of the word dreamtime. It kind of jarred me out of the flow, like a wrong note in a melody. Altogether, though, this is beautifully written!
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