Contradiction In Terms

Deliberately impulsive, nonchalantly eager, that's me
Cheerfully depressive and optimistically grim
I'm cryptically simple, and recklessly slow
My skin is thick but I spread myself too thin

Cacophonously quiet, and brazenly shy
Melodic, yet tuneless, with a smile to make you cry
I've got my head in the clouds and my ear to the ground
I'm too tired to give up, and too anxious to try

I'm a credible dropout, a kingdomless king
I'm a newborn Rock of Ages, the hole in the ring
I'm trapped in my freedom and frantically still
I'm an angel with a closet full of sin behind my wings

I'm a useful waste of space; I'm lost, and I'm the map
I'm so deep I could be shallow and I've got dry wit on tap
I'm the serpent in my paradise and I'll be chilling deep in Hell
Because I love to hate the way I am: A contradiction in myself