Fading

Can anybody hear,
These words I just can't seem to say?
Can any of you feel it,
This ache that just won't go away?

It does not fade, shake or disappear,
It does not vacate or wander far.
It breaks and drains and overwhelms,
Until I nearly fall apart.

It kills and burns inside of me,
And I long to feel alive again.
I beg, I scream, I pray for relief,
For all this anxiety to come to an end.

I'm fading from myself,
I'm fading from this world.
Fading out of this so called, "life."
And it all begins to swirl.

Around, inside, out, and back again.
Knocking, beating, pounding,
Always outside my door.
Night and day are all that are left,
Of the things of which I once was sure.

I dream of things that used to be,
Of having something real come back.
But instead I live with this endless dread,
Anxiously relaxed.