1pm

How many are there, anyway? We wonder, with such numerous voices it all sounds like thunder.

I'm going to start with an actual narrative cause, I used to do these more often, and in doing so I feel it helped me learn a lot more about myself than through the art of transforming it into poetry, where the main concern is structure and message. Here, it's simply, knowledge. A record of what is happening in me, right now. I don't know why I ever felt the need to lull my narrative side when I saw that Jeremy's main focus was poetry. Unknmowingly, again, I went and began a change in myself, where I just now notice how much I lost in doing so....
'I havent written a beautiful peice the way I used to since I came here. I don't think. If there were any they were very few and far between. Given everything in me that has changed, and would've inevitableyin the same situation, I think holding on to that part of the talent that I had would have been worth it. Could have grown. But now I have to reach back in and find it. I have to nurture it back to health and feed it current events the way I used to. I love these monsters inside. Are you grasping that yet, my love.


The font on here is a dull grey, making me think these passages as I type them in a low, calming, quiet voice. We talk about the voices in our heads, me and him. And the nanchalance is... so admirable. Between us there is a bond no one else understands. It has been like that since day one, and I, really don't think I'd have it any other way. Our beauty is a vicious one. It's so loud sometimes and big that I feel like it's knocking my heart right off the shelf to make room for itself. Is that bad? Do I let it? I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Marry me off the coast of the waytansea island and all secrets will be revieled in their time...

He has been a doll lately and I hope he sees that I am trying, too. I havent been sitting around, today was the first day I slept in late, I couldnt set my alarm on my phone, it isnt very reliable with one bar of battery since the charger is still at his parents house. Since Christmas.

I've got to get up though and start doing things before he gets home. If I can manage a shower in there it'd be great but I just want to clean the house up a little. I want those dishes done. This is turning into nothing. Oh okay, other focuses have come up. Aur revoir.