One Too Many, or Drinker's Dilemma

A bard in angst is bad but a drunken bard is... you get the picture...

There once was a rowdy young lass
Who had quite a grasp of her glass
With a slap to the table
She dared all men able
“Who can drink me onto my ass!”

I was thinking I might be the lad
As a good bit of practice I had
So ready or not
I planted the shot
Since the mistress didn't look half bad

Now I won't be ashamed to say
We drank in the bar all that day
And into the night
Causing a fright
To the barkeep weary of our stay

The last bottle of liquor we kept
And out to a farmhouse we crept
At the last shot of rum
It was me on my bum
Yet not before in my lap she slept

All desire was out of me now
Sooner have gotten milk from a plow
Oh what a sin
The state I was in
All my plans had been ruined and how