One Thing

As I look back now I wish I could take back that moment. I will always have a reminder from that day. The scarring is more than just skin deep and there is no way it can heal. We were young, our words were foolish, but words mean nothing now, for what I have to say will never be heard.

***

Friday afternoons were what everyone waited for. The high anticipation of this afternoon filled the air, the last day of term. The day had lingered on, it seemed like the school day would never end. As the final bell sounded the halls filled with buzzing children as they rushed home.

“Hey there.” Derrick grabbed me by the shoulder and spun me around until I was looking into his blue eyes gleaming with eagerness. He leant closer and kissed me, his warm lips made me melt. When finished he coolly stood back up and smiled. “Do you need a lift?”

“No I’m fine, I’ve…” My sentence was cut short by a familiar voice screaming across the quad.

“Hey did you ask them?” Jenny asked puffing as she ran towards me. “Come on don’t keep me in suspense.”

“Yeah.” I answered in a casual voice.

“Well?” Jenny was getting frustrated, she hated when I stalled when answering questions.

“They said yes.” I answered, trying to hide my smile. Jenny knew that tonight was the night my parents were to leave for their vacation and they were going to send me away to my aunts for the two weeks of holidays. Jenny had the idea that I stay at her place for the two weeks. We were just like sisters so it would be a fun holiday, anything would be better than going over to my aunts, listening to prehistoric music and eating food that had no traces of salt, sugar or flavour. Anything would have been better.

Jenny screamed as she jumped up and down with excitement. “This is going to be the best holidays ever.”

***

“So what are we going to do?” Jenny asked as she held up one of my party tops in front of her. We only had a short time to collect some clothes for me that would last the two weeks; I didn’t know what we would be doing so I didn’t know what clothes I would need for the two weeks.

“I don’t know.” I replied as I grabbed a handful of tops and shoved them into the bottom of a duffel bag.

A soft bell chimed as Jenny reached for her mobile and began typing away at the small keypad.

“Who’s it from?” I asked as I tried to take a peek at the message.

“Oh it’s from no one.” Jenny quickly slipped the phone back into her pocket. “So are we ready to go?”

“I guess.” I zipped up the bag and threw it over my shoulder.

***

“I’m just going up to the room.” Jenny quickly finished her dinner and rushed upstairs. There was no keeping her back; she just wanted to spend time alone. On the car trip back to her place she was rather quiet and now this secrecy. Jenny never kept any secrets from me so why was she now?

I finished my meal shortly after and rushed up the stairs. I was just about to knock on the door and enter before I hear Jenny in a heated conversation on the phone.

“I thought I told you not to call here?” Jenny raged. “I don’t want to hear any excuses… no… I can’t… stop calling here… bye.”

I paused outside for a minute before entering; I did not want her to think I was eavesdropping in on the conversation.

“Is everything alright?” I asked as I saw the distressed look on her face.

“I’m fine.” Jenny just snapped and then raised her eyes to meet mine and smiled. “I’m fine, just haven’t been feeling well.”

“Well I hope you’re not sick all the holidays.” I tried to act sympathetically but I knew there was something else going on and I was going to find out what she was keeping from me.


***

Night could not come any sooner. The tension between the two of us had grown so thick that you could cut it with a knife. I waited for Jenny to fall asleep before I reached for her mobile phone. Something told me that I shouldn’t be snooping around in her private messages, but I had to find out what had upset her this afternoon. It wasn’t like I was betraying her; I just wanted to help her.

Holding her mobile my stomach was stricken with guilt but I still looked in her messages. Now I wish I had minded my own business, the last message that Jenny had received was from Derrick. “Party on Saturday come with me.”

Anger swelled in the pit of my stomach as I checked her last call. My hands were furiously trembling as I saw the name, Derrick. Why was Derrick calling her? Why was Derrick asking her out? He was with me, and she was my best friend, how could she do something like that to me?

***

The next day I tried to avoid Jenny. If I spoke to her I knew I would lose my calm.

“Are you okay?” Jenny asked as she put an arm on my shoulder.

I pushed her arm away. I could not keep this in anymore. “Why is Derrick calling you?” I screamed.

“It’s not what you… hey why have you been at my phone?” Jenny argued.

“I was worried about you, I can see why.” I continued, my voice raising as I spoke. “You were worried about me finding out.”

“Who’s it to you who calls me?” She raged.

“He’s my boyfriend, you slut!” I screamed without thinking of what I was saying.

“You bitch.” She pulled her hand back and hit me across the cheek “What would you know”.

I was about to retaliate when her mother came through the door. “Is everything okay?”

Neither of us could say a word, we just gave a slight nod.

***

I struggled to fall asleep that night. I felt really bad for what I had said to her. This was the longest I had gone without speaking to her. I looked over to her bed but she wasn’t there. I saw her mobile phone sitting on the desk, I just had to check it just one more time to see if I could be mistaken somehow. This time I looked in the sent messages, there was the one she sent to Derrick. “No, she’s my friend so leave me alone.” This made me feel really bad, she was telling the truth and I had betrayed her.

There was a smell of something burning in the air. I moved closer to the bedroom door, the door handle searing with heat. Faint with the dim light but still noticeable was the smoke that was seeping into the room from the slight crack beneath the door.

“Jenny” I called out as I darted out of the bedroom. I wasn't thinking about what I was doing, I just had to find her and get out of the smoke filled passage.

My lungs were suffocating, the smoke was overpowering. I could not see anything; the ash was stinging my eyes. My skin was burning. I could not go on any more. Just as I had about given up hope a firm hand grasped my wrist and dragged me from the burning house.

I lay on the lawn, gasping for clean air. All of my tries to run back into the blazing house was thwarted, one of the firemen held me back. I could only watch the house as it was engulfed in flames. There was nothing I could do and I didn't even know where Jenny was.

***

I was later told that Jenny had not made it. She had been trapped inside, where the fire had originated, there was never any escape for her. I will never get a chance to take back the nasty words that had filled me that night. Words that I needn’t have said because I was mistaken about her. I should have trusted her; she was my friend, my sister. I will always be reminded of that night, every time I look in the mirror. As the years go by these bitter words still eat away at my soul for the last words she heard should have been “I’m sorry.”