Hyacinths and Irises

Hyacinths and Irises

A young woman slowly walked down the street, along the sidewalk, holding a light blue hyacinth and a lavender iris in one hand close to her chest. The afternoon had been hot and humid but the woman barely noticed at all. In an hour and a half or so, the sun would be setting and it would become cooler anyway. The trees around her swayed slightly as the wind blew through them, and their leaves floated to the ground around her, almost as if they were worshipping the ground she walked on.

“Good afternoon, Lana!” called an elderly woman who was sweeping her porch with a broom clutched in her hands.

The woman merely gave a small smile before continuing along. At twenty-two, Lana Yin could hardly be called a girl. Her light brown hair hung loosely a few inches past her shoulders and the slight curls at the end seemed to bounce as she walked. Her hazel eyes, usually so bright and cheerful, seemed dull and dark. People had once told her that, because of her eyes, they could read her like an open book. At this reminder, she lowered her eyes to the ground, not wanting to allow any stranger to be able to see the incredible sadness she felt.

When she reached the park, she stared at the empty basketball court, a small smile unknowingly playing upon her lips.

A young girl skipped happily with her jump rope as she looked up. The sky was clear with no signs of any clouds and if she squinted against the light, she could spot a few birds flapping their way across the blue. The sun beat down upon her shoulders and she was soon out of breath. Her dark hair seemed to absorb the sunlight and made her feel twice as hot, so she sought the shade from under a large tree. She continued to skip under the tree until she heard yelling coming from the basketball court.

“I’m not short! I can play!” A young boy of about her age with blond hair glared at the other four boys that were now surrounding him.

The tallest of the four laughed and shoved the boy, making him fall to the ground. “Yeah, right, Mason. You are too short. Say, what’s your name again?”

"Adam!” the boy declared defiantly as he stood up.

“Okay, Adam.” He bent down a little until he was eye-level with him. “If you can touch my hand, you can play with us.” He straightened and lifted his arm high, and being the tallest one there, there was no way the boy would be able to reach it and everyone knew it.

“That’s not fair!” Adam cried. “You’re too tall. That’s not fair!”

“Too bad, kid.”

“I’m not a kid!”

“You are too!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!

“Look, kid. You’re six. We’re all eight. We’re not kids. You are. And kids can’t play with us. Right?” He looked around at his friends for support.

“Yeah!”

The four of them started to walk away but Adam caught up to the tallest one and began pounding his fists against him. “I want to play! I want to play! Let me play! Please?”

The boy yanked Adam by the wrist and shoved him again. “Don’t be such a baby.” And the four of them walked away, leaving him crying on the ground. He didn’t even notice when another figure appeared next to him.

“Go away,” he muttered. “I don’t like mean people.”

“Don’t cry.”

Startled, the young boy looked up to see a girl his age, her hair blocking out half the sunlight from hitting him. “Huh?”

She crouched down. “Don’t cry. My mommy says that if you let them see you cry, then you’re letting them win.”

“Go away.”

The girl cocked her head in confusion. “Why?”

“You’re a girl,” he muttered.

“So?”

“I don’t like girls.”

“Oh.” There was a long silence where he wiped his eyes, angry with himself for crying. He stood up and began to walk away when she broke the silence. “I don’t think you’re short.”

He stopped. “Huh?”

She stood up and came to stop next to him. “I don’t think you’re short.” She stood on her toes. “See? I’m on my tippytoes and you’re still taller!”

“I’m still not tall enough to play with them, though.”

“So? Mommy says that things change later. She said that I might get better at jump roping so maybe you’ll get taller.” She flashed him a toothy grin.

“Do you only listen to what Mommy says?” he retorted.

She only stared at the ground and he could clearly tell her chin was trembling. A stab of guilt hit him. He hadn’t meant to be mean to her. “Sorry.”

She immediately grinned. “It’s okay!” she exclaimed, as she suddenly grabbed his hands and began swinging in circles. She stopped when he pulled away. She stepped closer and, clasping her hands behind her back like a schoolgirl, peered at him. “So what’s your name? Was it Adam? I forget.”

“Yeah.”

“C’mon! What’re you looking so sad for? It’s a sunny day!” She jumped around with her hands in the air.

He wanted to roll his eyes and run away but her cheerfulness was becoming contagious and he soon found himself smiling in spite of recent events.

She stopped jumping and looked at him with a big grin. “My name’s Lana! Can I be your friend?”

She shook her head slightly, giving a sigh before continuing to make her way around the park. We were so young. Young, immature, and unknowing of the future. Soon, she realized she was in front of an old outdoor hockey rink. She slowly walked around the abandoned hockey rink with her hand trailing along, as if she were inspecting each aspect of it. Her hand came to a stop as she noticed a dent on one side of the rink.

“Go, Adam!” she screamed from the sidelines. “You can do it! Shoot it! Just shoot it!” She jumped up and down in the upcoming excitement, but disappointment settled over her when she heard murmurs erupt in the crowd. He hadn’t made the shot and now his team members were slapping him on the back, telling him it was all right. She knew they were deeply disappointed and felt sorry for the team but her heart dropped when she saw him.

He had fallen against the benches and was lying there as he stared up at the sky. Some of his closer teammates went over to try to comfort him but he merely shook his head and looked away. Lana stood there watching him until every other person had left the rink, leaving only the two of them. He still hadn’t moved. Slowly, she made her way towards him and stopped in front of him. He blinked, but otherwise made no other movement.

“I thought I told you to leave me alone.”

“You never told me that.”

He whipped his head around and gaped at her. “Lana? What’re you doing here?”

She swatted him on the head. “I’m supporting you, silly. What does it look like I’m doing?”

“But I thought you said you had a dance competition?”

“I read it wrong. The competition was for twelve-year-olds.” She giggled. “And I’m obviously not twelve. So I came here to watch you play!”

He sighed before standing up and grabbing his hockey stick. At eleven, five years after the basketball court incident, Adam had indeed grown taller. At least, much taller than he had expected.

Without another word, he grabbed his bag and walked along the side of the rink, taking the shortcut that would take him home faster.

“Wait!” she called, hurrying to catch up to him. “Why are you running away?”

“I should’ve made that shot! I saw how to make it too, but then I just lost my focus! I don’t even know how!” With that, he took his hockey stick and swung it hard against the rink, making a dent against the side. Lana let out a little scream of surprise, causing him to apologize for his behavior.

“It’s not your fault. So what if you lost this shot? You have lots and lots of other shots later!”

“How would you know?”

She just shrugged. “I just know.”

Tears slowly trailed down her cheeks as she ran a finger over the dent that was still evident even twelve years later. She took a deep breath and rubbed the back of her hand over her eyes, erasing all traces of wetness around them. What she couldn’t erase, however, was the redness tinted in her pupils.

She hurriedly walked away from the park. She didn’t care where she went, she just knew she had to get as far away from it as she could before she completely lost her composure.

“Hey, Lana!” She looked up to see a fellow classmate of hers walking towards her.

“Hey, Skyler,” she said softly, glancing at the ground once again.

He came up to her with his eyes full of concern. “What’s wrong, Lana? You’re not usually so down. What – ohh.”

He abruptly stopped in mid-sentence when Lana brought her head up to look at him. He sighed deeply before pulling her into a quick hug. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay. You know you can always talk to me.” He paused. “I’m going to leave you alone for now, okay?” And with that, he walked off.

She sighed. Had it been her eyes again? They hadn’t been lying when they said her whole world was open in front of them with just a look in her eyes.

“Don’t you dare make fun of her again, Jackson!” yelled Adam, as he stepped protectively in front of his best friend, who was crying.

Jackson rolled his eyes. “It’s not my fault she believed every goddamn word that came out of my mouth. I’m just saying, she should’ve realized sooner I was only playing with her. Who could actually like her?” Snickers were heard from his group. “Why is she such a crybaby? She’s fifteen now, not eight!” His eyes narrowed mockingly at her. “Maybe she should go back to third grade. Girls cry all the time there.” More laughter was heard from his group while Adam heard another choked back sob coming from behind him.

He glared at Jackson. “Just leave! Lana doesn’t want to see you ever again and neither do I! And don’t come near her again!”

“Pfft! I wouldn’t come near you guys with a ten foot pole, don’t worry. Come on, guys. Let’s leave the crybaby alone or she might die from all that water loss.”

Adam waited until they were all gone before he turned his attention to Lana. She immediately lunged for him and tackled him in a hug, letting her sobs out.

“I c-can’t believe I believed him! I th-thought he was for real. I thought he really c-cared about me,” she sobbed into him. “I feel so s-stupid now. He’s right. I am a c-crybaby.”

“No, Lana, who cares if you cry? You can cry whenever you want.”

She smiled weakly at him. “I’m so pathetic.”

“Jackson’s pathetic, Lana. Come on, he picks on people who are clearly better than he is. What does that say about him? He sucks but he just doesn’t know it yet. And it wasn’t your fault you didn’t realize it sooner. I didn’t either. I thought he was actually good for you.” He patted her on the head. “So now you can call me a loser too.”

She gave him a watery smile. “I’d never call you a loser. You’re only my best friend.”

You’re only my best friend. Lana shook her head with a small smile tugging at her lips at the thought. She had been best friends with Adam for fifteen years. Most people would kill to have had a best friend for that long and here Lana was, someone who actually had such a thing. And come to think of it, it had all started after he had called her a girl and almost walked off.

She turned the corner and suddenly realized she had stopped in front of her best friend’s house. She took a deep breath and rang the doorbell, bracing herself for what she knew was going to come.

“Lana! What a surprise!” An older woman in her late-forties smiled warmly at her before stepping side and waving a hand inside. “Come in, Shayla will be coming down soon. I just told her to put away her laundry for the moment.” There was a pause before Mrs. Kane lowered her voice and looked at her. “I’m so sorry for what happened, Lana. I really am.”

Lana swallowed hard but merely nodded.

“Lana!” A scream erupted before Lana was tackled in a hug. A feeling of déjà vu washed over her but she dismissed it. She knew it was only a memory. Cascades of blonde hair covered her face and Lana had to laugh as she gently pushed her friend off her.

“Hey, Shayla.”

“Lana, how’ve you been? I just got back from college and oh, it feels so great to be home. I never really noticed how much I missed being home and being with the people here.” Her eyes grew sadder. “Lana, I – ”

Lana squeezed her eyes shut, hoping she would be able to block out what was coming.

“I’m really sorry. It’s horrible, what happened, and I’m – I’ll always be here for you, okay? You can always come to me. I know you used to go to him but – Lana!”

Shayla never had a chance to finish her sentence since Lana had bolted out of the door and had begun running down the sidewalk. She couldn’t take it anymore. It was too hard. A year had already passed but it was still too hard. When she finally opened her eyes again, her first reaction was surprise. Surprise that she had made it out of the house and down the sidewalk with her eyes closed. Then she chided herself for making such a silly observation. That’s when she realized that her face was once again streaked with tears. Tears that must’ve flowed unconsciously when her eyes had been closed. Why had she gone there when she had already known what would happen?

“Am I ever going to see you at all?” she asked in a small voice.

“Of course, you will,” he assured her. “I’ll come home during break and we’ll hang out. We’re not going too far away from home.”

“But – but you know what they say. They say that at college, you find new people to hang out with and I – I…”

“Lana, you’ll always be my best friend, okay?” He took her hands into his. “Always. I don’t care how many new people I meet in college. You’re still the one I’ve known for, what, twelve years now?” He smiled.

“Just twelve?”

“Twelve and more. We’ll always be friends. Best friends, okay? Don’t forget that.”
There was a moment of silence before he saw a pout form on her lips. “Hey, what’s the pout for?”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “I hate always having to look up at you whenever I talk to you. Why are you so tall?”

“Oh, but the better to make fun of you with, of course!” He flashed her a smile. “Now I always having something to tease you with. Your shortness!”

“Hey, man, I wasn’t the short guy who wanted to play basketball when he was six!” she shot back.

“No, you weren’t, but you were the one who told me that I’d definitely get taller in the future.”

“And I regret saying that.”

He laughed and lightly punched her in the shoulder. “No, you don’t!”

“Yes, I do. Now I have a monster for a best friend.”

“Better a monster than nothing at all,” he quipped.

“Oh, you’re impossible!” she complained.

He patted her on the shoulder. “Height doesn’t matter. At least you’re my friend now. Here, come with me. I want to show you something.” He grabbed her hand and she followed him until she realized they were at his house.

“Ma, I’m home!” he called as he passed through
the house. “I’ll be back soon though. I just want to show Lana something!”

“Okay, dear!”

“What’re you doing?”

“Hang on.” He stopped outside the back door and turned to her. “Okay, wait here.”

She obeyed but with confusion. Seconds later he came back with one hand held behind his back.

She eyed him warily. “Adam, what is that? What’re you hiding? You better not be hiding a hose behind that. You’re not planning on spraying – ” She stopped when he pulled his hand from behind him and held a single hyacinth in his hand. Her mouth dropped open as she stared at it.

“Adam, it’s so pretty. Where’d you find it? What is it called?”

He chuckled. “It’s called a hyacinth. My mom brought a couple back when she went to Iran to do some research. She even bought some seeds.”

“Why’d she bring them back?”

“Because I told her to.”

“Why?”

He handed it to her. “Here. It’s for you. Do you know what ‘hyacinth’ means?”

She shook her head as she continued to stare and finger the beautiful flower in her hands.

“I looked it up. It means ‘constancy.’ And I thought it was perfect for you. And it’s my graduation present for you.” There was a pause before he plowed on. “I know, I know, it’s not expensive or whatever like other people got you but I figured it was good for you. I mean, you’ve been my very best friend for twelve years. If that’s not constancy, then I don’t know – ”

“Shut up, Adam,” she said suddenly. She stared at his stunned expression. “I don’t particularly care for expensive gifts. Do you know how much this means to me? It’s perfect. It’s beautiful and it has so much meaning behind it.” She threw herself at him, hugging him tightly. “Thank you so much.”

She let go of him and smiled.

He patted her on the head. “Now there’s the smile I’m used to.”

“We’ll always be best friends?”

“Always.”

Always. We’ll always be best friends. Lana trudged down the road until her sandaled feet felt the cool touch of grass and she looked up in surprise. Hadn’t she just been on the sidewalk? Her eyes widened when she realized where she was. Headstone after headstone surrounded her and Lana realized she had unconsciously walked into the cemetery. She froze, unsure of what to do. She really didn’t want to be there. She had tried avoiding it at all possible costs and yet, here she was; her feet had taken her there against her better knowledge. Finally, she decided that he didn’t deserve her constant cold shoulder. She sought the headstone she had visited so frequently before and knelt down in front of it, praying she wouldn’t start crying until she could get all her thoughts out. She stared at the engravings on it and traced a finger over the letters.

In Loving Memory
Adam Maxwell Mason
1984-2005
You’ll always be in our hearts and our memories

“Adam,” she said softly. “I miss you. More than you can probably imagine.” She glanced around near the headstone and brushed her fingers lightly over the now withered hyacinths lying against it. “You remember hyacinths right? You told me it meant ‘constancy.’” She laid the fresh, light blue hyacinth down with the others. “So here’s another one. And – and I brought another flower.” She laid the second flower down too. “It’s an iris. Do you know what that means? You probably do, but I had to look it up. It means ‘your friendship means so much to me.’ And it also means ‘wisdom’ and ‘faith.’”

“Adam…” she began, stopping when she heard her voice crack. “You meant so much to me. You really did. You were my only true best friend. I mean, I have Shayla now but – but she’s not the same as you. She didn’t know me when I was six-years-old. She wasn’t there when I broke my doll and she wasn’t the one who just took it and popped the head back in.” A single tear trailed down her cheek and she knew that more would be coming. “You’re not supposed to be dead,” she whispered. “You’re not. You were supposed to graduate college. We were supposed to grow old together and get married at the same time and live next door to each other for the rest of our lives. Now, you’ve – you’ve left me and I have to go through this alone. I miss you, I really do. I would give anything just to hear your voice again but I know I can’t.”

She blinked rapidly, trying to clear her vision but it was no use; tears were flowing freely now and dotting the bottom of the headstone with wet drops. “You were always there for me, even for the dumbest things. You stood up for me and helped me up when I fell. Who’s going to do that now? Who’s going to tell me I’m too short to play basketball? Who’s going to tell me which guy sucks?” She finally stopped talking and rested her head against the cool stone and just cried quietly.

Finally, she picked her head up and rearranged the flowers against it so that it laid in a neat row. “I have to get out of here, Adam. I have to get out of this town. Everything here reminds me of you. So many times I almost gave myself a heart attack because I thought I saw you when it really wasn’t you. I – I – I can’t do this anymore. It hurts too much. I need to go. I need time. A year isn’t enough. I don’t know how long it’ll take me. Maybe forever. But I really do miss you. I wish you were alive. I wish you were here so that you could make fun of me and push me around. But I just – ” She didn’t know what else to say. She knelt there for another few minutes, allowing the cool wind to blow through her hair and she stared at the sky. The sun was setting now and dark red-orange lines streaked the sky towards the equally red-orange sun.

She stood up and let out a deep breath. “I’ll come back sometime later, I promise. Just know that I love you, I miss you, and I just…really wish you were here. You’ll always be my best friend. That’s something that’ll never change.” When she had rearranged the flowers, she had probably been too preoccupied to have noticed the gray sheet of newspaper tucked safely under the flowers.

University Student Gunned Down After Trying to Become Mediator

Temple University junior Adam Mason was killed after becoming involved in an argument. Sources say there had been an intense argument on the first floor of the dorm between two young men over money. The older one, identified as Jake Burgess, 22, was threatening Andrew Beatty, 21, to kill him if he did not hand over the $200 he had won in a bet. When Beatty did not comply, Burgess had proceeded to pull out a gun on him.

At that moment, Mason, who had been curious about the sudden increase in noise level, entered the scene. Beatty, who is now being detained, said that Mason had tried to convince Burgess to let go of the gun. He had even offered Burgess the $200 if Beatty was not able to pay it, but Burgess had snarled, “If it’s not coming from him, then I don’t want it” and shot Mason in the chest. Mason, captain of the university soccer team, was pronounced dead at the scene.

Burgess has also been detained and may serve up to twenty years in prison.

Lana stopped at the entrance of the cemetery and turned to look backwards. I’ll be back with another hyacinth and another iris. I promise. She squinted lightly against the sunlight and gazed into the sunset, before finally turning back around.

I’ll see you again, someday, right?