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confusion, time, future, betrayal |
Tims is killing me. My future has rusted. The cup is lost, neither full nor empty. I cannot even gain perspective. Thoughts are in shambles. Pieces I gather but cannot arrange in coherent order. Idecipherably fucked. Some are missing, others I do not recognize as my own. Who's in there? Flee! My mind is a prison in need of no other prisoner. They push my meals silently under the grate. No other contact. No loved ones write, for they do not know the address where I reside. Within these walls I beg to scream, pleading to have my voice heard. Someone has wired my mouth shut. Insecurity and inadequacy lace my lips with invisible threads. And him. He who pretends to care. Loves this pretty face, but cannot face the demon in the rose-shaped mask. Every rose has its thorns. They hide amidst foliage and prick the fool who yearns to tame me. When all I really want is to be tamed. Untie me and see that destruction is not fate. Sedate me and Listen. No one has ears. You are ear-less, shallow and hollow. Shells with no snails. Just a slug at heart. Nothing to hide behind, where will you run to when you leave a trail behind to follow? But I will not follow, No. For that shows compassion I was never given my fair share of. The flowers on my desk cling to life, though I know not why. Their receiver is as fake as the one who bestowed them. And trust me. Neither of us give a damn if you live or die. |