Abuse Lives On...and On

Abuse Lives On…and On
By Marilyn Mackenzie
July 22, 2003


Yesterday as I listened to the radio while waiting in my car, I heard these words: "A person who always puts his/her needs before those of his/her spouse or family is being abusive."

I pondered for a while and could see the truth in that statement. The abusive person can hide beneath smiles and pretty words. But if a person insists on always having his/her own needs met, not even considering the needs and desires of others around him/her, that person is being abusive. This abuse can occur in the workplace, at home, at school, even in our churches.

One who insists on having his own needs fulfilled above all others surely isn’t demonstrating love. In the Bible, 1 Corinthians Chapter 13 – the Love Chapter – tells us that we can be doing grand and glorious things but if we have not love, we are nothing.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a NIV

Abuse and love just don’t fit together at all, for love is unselfish and abuse is the most selfish act of all. The abuser needs to be in control, to be superior. Abuse demands, and love kindly requests.

One who truly loves knows that in being patient and kind, in showing tenderness and care towards those around us, love will be returned and our needs will be fulfilled without having to ask.

As a society, we’ve chosen a world other than the one designed by our Creator. Rather than demonstrating love to those around us, we tend to abuse them. In the workplace, we step on others to get ahead. When neighbors fight in the house next door, we turn up our stereos so we do not hear. At home, we yell and scream instead of talking calmly about life’s problems. And so, abuse lives on and on.

Love is a much better solution.