night

My heart stings so,
I cannot breathe.
Why did I let you,
Touch me,
Kiss Me,
Hold me.

I barely knew you.
Your hands were so warm.
It felt so good.
I wanted to stop.
But I didn't.

I was so naive.
I was but a child.
Innocent,
And you took that away.
Just ripped the door open.

Now i can't go back,
To that time.
When i knew what was right.
And what was wrong.

My thoughts were so clear.
But my actions were not.
A single drink,.
So strong.
Blew me away.

I came to you,
To find the ground once more.
We had fun before.
I thought I could trust you.
So Naive.

Your arms were so warm.
Your smile so secure.
It felt too good.
Too much at once.

You laid out a red carpet.
I followed it so carefully.
I didn't see the direction,
That it was to take me.

I was so scared,
I never knew that feeling,
Until that moment.
My blood turned cold,
My face hid my fear.
I pretended to smile,
Inside I shed tears.

You knew how to disguise it,
To make it seem right.
I wish I could take back that night.

It suddenly dawned on me,
What was I doing.
All my principles,
My morals,
All out the window.

I didn't want it to go so far,
And yet I let it.
Why?

For the comfort of being in your arms,
I paid an awful price.
My innocence,
It's gone.
You took it away.
You didn't even ask.
My heart screamed for it.

But it was too late.
I no longer see,
The world the same way.
You killed my inner child,
The purity of my soul.

I hate all that is you,
Yet I crave to come back.
I took the wrong road.
Now I'm on a different track.

I finally fled the scene,
And found my own home,
Slid under the covers,
And rested my head.
In hopes to forget.

But when I woke up,
The world,
Was a different shade of red,
And I began to cry.
I felt as if I was dead,
No longer living.

You sucked the life out,
All that was me,
And instead you left me with,
The horrible memory.

You opened a door,
That I had left locked.
And Now I can't close.
It haunts my dreams
This pandora's box

Now I must fight them,
The monsters under my bed,
No longer are my protectors here to save me.

I'm all alone.
In isolation from those,
Who taught me to read,
And tie my own shoes.

The world is no longer
The same place I saw,
There is no true love,
I can't can't listen to that music.

It annoys and disgusts me.
Only yesterday I believed.
I lived in the moment,
You took that away.

The flashbacks remind me,
That I'm no longer a child.
And they bring me back to the moment,
When you showed me your world.

And I hate it,
But I cannot leave.
I'm part of it now.
And I cannot stop crying.
Because my soul is dying.
I hate you,
I despise you.
Get out of my head.
I cannot stop seeing that treacherous bed.