wave pull

I walk placidly through the rain and feel its tear drops upon my skin. Tears in my eyes and pain in my heart, I don’t feel its chilliness.
The rain drops form a pool around me as I walk towards my journey’s end.
Why? One may ask me;
Why should someone so young; Carry a burden so big?
That it strangles your throat. Drags the little precious life in you and sucks away that juice of sweetness in the very existence of you.
I don’t know; is all I can answer.
But what I know is that when you make a choice; it tends to affect your destiny and the comfort of your being alive. It tends to change the way you feel about yourself and others around you.
It makes you want to grow up.
I stop short at the beach, for this is the end of my journey. The waves have been calling out to me since that night. I have longed to feel its arms around me its coolness enclosed above my head.
I stare as they dance seductively in front of me. They look beautiful in my eyes and at last I feel some sense of peace. My sandals have come off because I want to feel the sea’s sand underneath the soles of my feet. It’s cold and its rough hide scrubs gently beneath my feet.
I move closer to the water for the wind had begun to sing in my ear that wonderful howling opera.
I sway gently to rhythm of the wind and waves and stretch out my hands to embrace their love.
The waves are beating widely against the rocks now, as they acknowledge my presence. The wind is ravenous; I know they want me to be here right now with them, they feel my soul, my want for them. I’m oblivious now to the showers of rain.
All I can here is the beautiful voices of the waves
“Come to us”
“Come to us” they cry repeatedly.
“Yes I would love to”
I would love to throw myself beneath the water and swallow as much as I could and then allow myself to sink slowly to the bed of the sea; out of sight and not to be found by anyone.
But I’m too scared too take the easy way out of this predicament of mine
I’m scared to take my life.