Daddy

I can remember you
From when I was a child
As I stood in a warm
White room full of love
Standing at the window watching
The people and cars taking
Turns at the traffic lights
I can remember you, my first feeling of warmth to you
The tight red rope of love
Which only I could feel
Then we met, I was blank
My mind disinfected with love
Paintings and toys from where I was
When I first laid my eyes on you
All over the walls with my words
Words that coloured the clean
Disinfected squares of love
With a wild intent red
I struggled to hold back
But I couldn't because
you're my dad

I needed to be me
Show you who I am, what I am
The battle was not won nor lost
It changed us both, for the best
Still I fight those feelings
From when I saw you
Loved you, but you couldn't love me back
You just walked away from me
Saying nothing, not even acknowledging me
I was only a little girl and you made me me cry
Every night I used to think of you, and cry

Cry and cry, tear drops one after the other
The tingling feeling of the cold unsettled tears against my face
Making my eyes blow-up, looking saw and red
I hated you, hated you for what you had put me through
The pain and the anger was building up
Then I exploded
Now I say what I think
I say what I am feeling
Acting like a drunken, my words slurred
Do you know why? You, it was all you
I couldn't concentrate, with my heart weeping
I was only young then so imagine what damage you have done now
I love you now but then I couldn't, I wouldn't
It hurts to sy it but you should know because
You're my dad
-X-