Daddy's Girl - Chapter 2

Cheryl felt like she went through the day on auto-pilot. She had four families to deal with and wasn’t able to focus on any of them. Today had been one of the days she wished she could have cancelled her cases. Her first one, a mother who needed to learn to clean, was as uncooperative as always. Two hours later she was on the road again, heading out of town to her next family. She spent an hour and a half with a teenager who had a two-week old son. She spent another two hours with a mother of two teenagers. The last appointment was an hour and a half spent with a family with three kids. Cheryl’s mind wasn’t focused and she didn’t feel she gave the families the attention they deserved. She was too preoccupied worrying about her father, wondering how the surgery was going or if it was done already. She hurried home after her last appointment hoping she’d either find a message waiting on the answering machine or catch the phone call she knew would be coming.

She walked into the kitchen and saw three messages waiting on the machine for her. Her pulse quickened and muscles tensed as she pressed the button to hear the messages.

“Cheryl, this is Kimberly. Your nine o’clock and your one o’clock both cancelled tomorrow. They want you to call to reschedule their appointments. Call me if you need any more information. Thanks. Bye.” Cheryl was slightly relieved; perhaps she could drive to the cities in the morning.

“Cheryl, call me when you get home.” Sam wasn’t known for his long and detailed messages and Cheryl grabbed the phone to call her husband as soon as the next message was done playing.

“Cheryl? This is Sandy. You remember, your dad’s sister? I need you to call me as soon as you get this message. Marlene gave me your number. It’s about your dad. Here’s my cell number, 555-1212. Talk to you soon. Bye.” Cheryl dialed Sandy’s number first, Sam could wait.

“Hello, Sandy?” Cheryl was nervous, feeling her palms start to sweat and her stomach tighten.

“Cheryl, thanks for calling me back. I have some news, although it’s not good news.”

“Damn. What’s going on?” Cheryl's heart started to beat faster, she was suddenly afraid of what she might hear.

“Your dad is out of surgery, but there were some complications. He had a stroke while he was in surgery. It’s not looking good, hon.”

Cheryl wasn’t sure how to handle Sandy’s sudden endearment. “Well, how is he now? I mean, is he awake? Does he know what happened? Is he going to be okay?”

“No, he isn’t awake, he’s resting right now. We’re not sure if he can understand what happened, he can’t talk. Cheryl, we don’t know if he’s going to be okay, it looks like it’s a long road ahead of us. There’s more news.” Sandy’s voice was soft, gentle.

“More? What?” Cheryl felt a lump in her throat as she forced herself to listen to her aunt.

“The cancer spread into his lymph nodes. It’s not looking good for your dad, Cheryl. It’s not looking good at all. I’m sorry sweetie, I really am. I wish I had better news for you.” Sandy sounded sincere as she tried to comfort her.

“I have to get down there. Listen, I’m coming down in the morning. Will you be there?” Cheryl decided work would have to wait, everything would have to wait. She needed to go and see her dad before it was too late.

“I’ll be here. I’m going to Linda’s shortly, but I’ll be back around eight or so in the morning. What time are you coming?”

“I’ll leave here by seven at the latest, probably earlier. I’ll be at the hospital by eight. What room is he in?” Cheryl’s mind was racing, making a mental list of what needed to be done before morning.

“He’s in room 432. I’ll be looking for you. Marlene will be here as well, I’m going to get her before I come here.”

“Okay, thanks Sandy. I really appreciate you letting me know. I’ll see you in the morning then.”

“Okay sweetie, bye.”

Cheryl put the phone down for a minute and reached for a cigarette. She grabbed her weekly planner and looked to see who needed to be called to reschedule appointments. Remembering she had to call Sam, she quickly dialed his cell number.

“Hello?” Sam’s voice was loud, he was in his truck and she could tell he was driving.

“Sam? Hi, it’s me. You called?” Cheryl tried to figure out how to tell him about her dad.

“Where have you been? I thought you were done with your last appointment at four? It’s five-thirty already.” Sam sounded irritated.

“It takes me almost an hour to get home, I told you that. Anyway, I had to call Sandy, dad’s sister, when I got home. That’s part of the reason it took so long, sorry hon.”

“Well, how’s your dad? What’s the news?” Sam’s tone softened a bit.

“It’s not good the way it sounds. Dad had a stroke during surgery. He can’t talk from what I understand. Sandy also said his cancer spread to his lymph nodes. I’m really worried. I’m going to the cities in the morning.” Cheryl braced herself for his reaction.

“What for? Damn Cheryl, I don’t understand you. He did nothing but hurt you when you were a child, yet you’re more than willing to run to his side every damn time he needs you. I don’t want you driving to the cities by yourself and I can’t take off work, you know that.” The irritation was back in Sam’s voice.

“I know you don’t understand. He’s my dad, that’s all I can tell you. What’s done is done, I can’t change it. But I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t get down there to see him. This is serious, I’m going. With or without you. I’ll be fine, I’m a big girl. I drive all over for work, what’s the big deal going to the cities by myself?” Cheryl took a deep breath as she felt her anger rise.

“Fine, but keep in touch, would you? I don’t want to worry about you all day long.” he said to her.

“Aren’t you coming home tonight? You said this morning when we talked you’d be home.” Cheryl felt the lump return to her throat. More than anything, she needed her husband tonight if for nothing else but to hold and comfort her.

“No, I have to work late. By the time I’m done working, you’ll be sleeping. I’ll stay in the motor home tonight. I probably won’t be home until Friday actually, that’s part of the reason I called you.” It was only Wednesday, two more days before she would see him.

“Oh, okay. Well, I guess that’s that then. I’m going to leave early in the morning, probably around six-thirty or seven. I’ll call before I go.” Cheryl’s voice betrayed her disappointment and she fought back her tears.

“Damn, don’t do that to me Cheryl. I’m sorry, but you know I work long hours. I can’t just drop everything and come home right now.” Sam sounded frustrated and Cheryl wanted to be done with the conversation.

“It’s okay, I’ll be fine. I’m tired and worried. Don’t worry about it. I know you have to work. I’m not upset with you, okay? I’ll let you go. I have to go now and call to reschedule some appointments. I’ll call before I go to bed. Bye Sam, be careful.”

She heard him take a deep breath. “Okay Cheryl. I’ll talk to you later then. You’ll be fine, you’re tough. Talk to you later, bye,”

Cheryl took a deep breath. “Settle down. Reschedule your appointments and deal with what you need to so you can get on the road right away.” She thought out loud and knew no one was there to hear her. She called the last two families she had appointments with, explained the situation, and rescheduled with them. After calling and leaving a message with the office secretary, she sat down and smoked another cigarette trying to relieve some tension. After making a fresh pot of coffee and pouring herself some, she went in and sat in her chair. Sitting there, smoking and drinking her coffee, she allowed her mind to drift back to the days of her childhood once again.

**************************************************

They were dancing and laughing. Cheryl danced while she watched her dad dance and sing along to “Rock Around the Clock” by Bill Hailey and the Comets. “This is real music, baby, real music. C’mon, move those feet like I taught you, honey!”

She bounced up and down on her toes, like he showed her, moving to the fast beat of the music. The music was loud but they didn’t care. She loved the times when they would dance around the living room without a care or a worry about anyone or anything. Her mom was outside talking with the neighbor lady. Her brothers were down at the beach fishing and her baby sister was asleep in her crib in their room. “Dad, this is so much fun. Spin me again, please? Please?” Cheryl loved it when he would take her hand and spin her round and round while they danced. She would get dizzy and stagger and her dad would comment she better look out, her mom might think she was taking sips of his beer.

“Okay baby, let’s spin one more time!” He spun her around and she laughed and giggled while he did it. “That’s enough, enough!” He laughed when he stopped and watched her stagger while she tried to regain her balance. “We better turn the music down before your mother comes in and catches us.”

“Aw dad, do we have to? She’s outside, talking to the neighbor. Please, just one more dance? Please?” Cheryl asked, her big brown eyes pleading with him not to stop.

“No, if your mother comes in and hears how loud this is, we’ll both be in trouble honey, we better quit now. We had some fun, didn’t we?” His tone was soft and gentle but she knew better than to keep asking.

“Okay.” She said, deciding she didn’t want her mother to get angry with either of them. “I guess I’ll go see what the boys are doing, if they’re catching any fish. Thanks daddy, that was so fun!” Cheryl ran over and gave her dad a kiss on the cheek. His arms wrapped around her and held her there.

“Yes it was fun, baby. It was.” He held her to him for a minute before he pushed her away. He looked at her, and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. “Go on then, honey. See if those boys of mine caught any fish for supper tomorrow.”

“Okay! See you in a little while! I’ll be down at the beach.” Cheryl turned to go out the door just as her mother was walking in.

“Where do you think you’re off to young lady?” Her mother looked coldly at her.

“Just to see if the boys caught any fish, mom. Is that okay? I asked dad, he said it was okay.” Cheryl told her mom.

“Fine, five minutes, and then I want you back here to help me in the kitchen. Oh, by the way, I hope you and your dad had fun, I heard the music. It was loud enough to hear down the block.”

Cheryl smiled and said excitedly, “We were dancing. We had so much fun! You should’ve seen me. I’m learning to dance really good.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you had a great time. Go on now. You don’t have a lot of time.” Cheryl’s mom turned and walked into the living room where her dad was sitting, listening to Johnny Rivers sing ‘The Poor Side of Town’.

“Ernie, turn that shit down, half the neighborhood can hear it.” Cheryl heard her mother yell at her dad as she walked across the lawn and down to the beach. She knew he would get yelled at until she came back up to the house in a few minutes. She wasn’t sorry though, they had fun while they danced and she didn’t care if her mom was mad about it.

Cheryl went down to the lake and sat on the beach, watching the boys fish. Tony, the youngest of the three, looked intense while he cast his line in the water and slowly reeled it back in. He didn’t talk to the others, he just fished. Dan and Bob were far less serious, arguing more about who would clean the fish when they were done. Bob was the oldest of the five kids and had the attitude that gave him special privileges over the others. Cheryl could hear him telling Dan, “You and Tony can clean most of them, after all, you need the practice more than I do.” Cheryl knew Dan would run and whine to mom as he always did when he thought he was being picked on or bossed around by either Bob or Cheryl.

“You guys got lots of fish?” Cheryl yelled.

“We got a whole bucket full, Cheryl, you should see ‘em.” Bob yelled back to her, lifting the bucket of fish as though she could see the fish through the shiny metal container. “C’mon down and look!”

“I don’t know, I gotta get back to the house or mom will yell. I only have a couple minutes.”

“Aw, c’mon Cheryl, you gotta look. We’ve been fishing for hours. Don’t be such a baby, mom won’t care if you’re a couple minutes late.” Bob teased her often about being a baby and knew by saying what he did, it was almost a dare for her to come down to the dock.

“Okay, I’m coming. But if I get yelled at, I’m gonna sock you one, Bob!” Cheryl took his taunt as a dare and walked down to the deck. “Wow, you guys do have lots of fish. Have fun cleaning ‘em, it’s going to take you hours.” Cheryl peered into the bucket, picking up a couple of the fish to see how big they were. “This one is puny, you should’ve thrown it back. It’s too little to clean and eat.”

“Throw it then, we kept all the fish cause we want to show mom and dad how many we caught.” Bob looked at the fish Cheryl held up. “Yeah, that one is kinda small. Throw it on the beach, we don’t need it, we have tons more.”

Cheryl threw the fish in the weeds along the beach. “Well, I better get back up to the house, mom’s gonna be mad at me if I don’t hurry up.”

“Okay. Sorry if I got you in trouble, I just wanted you to see the fish is all.” Bob’s voice was sincere as he said it, he often witnessed Cheryl getting in trouble with their mom.

“It’s okay, thanks for showing me. Hey, can I fish with you guys tomorrow? I never get to go fishing.” Cheryl looked at Bob hoping he’d say yes.

“Sure, I don’t care.” Bob gave her a look only a brother could give then turned back to his fishing.

Cheryl walked back into the house, knowing she’d been gone longer than five minutes. “Cheryl, didn’t I tell you five minutes? Why can’t you follow simple instructions?” Her mother demanded.

“I’m sorry, mom. I didn’t think it was too long. I was just watching them fish. They sure do have lots of ‘em in their bucket down there. It’ll take the boys all night to clean all those fish. Dad says we can have the fish for supper tomorrow night, can we?” Cheryl tried to make light of being late and hoped her mom would forget.

“Sure, I don’t care what you and your dad planned for supper tomorrow, I have to work. I better not come home to find my kitchen a mess though. I’ll get you both out of bed to clean it up.” Her mother looked at her and Cheryl knew she would do it.

“I always clean up after I cook something, mom.” Cheryl said it without thinking, knowing her mom wouldn’t agree.

“Oh, I remember the last time you tried baking that cake that flopped, remember? There was flour all over this kitchen. I had to have you clean it three times before you got it all cleaned up.”

“That cake didn’t flop. It was good. You even had two pieces.” Cheryl remembered the cake and how proud she was when she was finished frosting it. She went to get her mom, begging her to come and look to see her first home made cake. Her mom looked at it and said, “How come it’s so flat? Did you follow the recipe like I told you to?”

“Oh okay, yes. I had two pieces. It wasn’t too bad. You did okay for your first cake. I know your dad sure liked it, he ate half the cake, didn’t he?” While she said it, her mom looked at Cheryl with angry eyes. Cheryl felt guilty because her dad liked the cake and ate two pieces.

“That’s not my fault mom, I didn’t make him eat it. But you did get two….”

“Mom, mom, look at all these fish we caught!” The boys came running into the kitchen stopping Cheryl from saying anymore. They proudly displayed their bucket of fish.

“Oh my, you guys did great down there today, didn’t you?” Her mom looked at the boys with pride, smiling while Cheryl watched, wishing just once her mom would look at her that way. “Let me see what you got there!” Walking over to the boys, she peered in the bucket. She knelt down along with the boys to look at all the crappies and sunnies they caught.

With her mom and the boys busy fussing over all the fish, Cheryl quietly slipped off to the bathroom. She heard them talk about cleaning them, and knew she wouldn’t be needed in the kitchen for at least another hour. “I wish mom would smile at me, I wish she would look at my stuff. She just loves the boys more than me, I know it.” Cheryl thought to herself, knowing there was no one to say the words to. She shut the door behind her. She felt a knot in her throat, her eyes well up with tears. She stood there for a minute, holding her breath, trying to stop herself from crying. She heard a soft knock on the door and silently hoped it was her mom, coming to see what was wrong with her. Opening it, she saw her dad standing there.

“Let me in, baby. It’s okay.”

She looked at him, fear and worry setting in, not knowing why he wanted to come in the bathroom with her. “But daddy…”

“No, shhh, it’s okay, mom’s busy with the boys right now. C’mon baby, let me in.”

Cheryl stepped aside letting her father in the bathroom with her. Shutting the door behind him, he looked down at her and smiled the smile she knew was only for her. She looked at him and felt her stomach tighten with fear. His private visits were always at night and they hadn’t even had supper. She worried her mom would hear him or see he wasn’t in his chair, drinking his beer and watching television. She worried she’d get caught being alone in the bathroom with him. She looked at him, eyes searching him for some sign, some reason why he’d want to talk to her in the bathroom. He looked down at her, standing before her, his hand reaching to softly stroke her hair and caress her cheek. Soft and quiet, he whispered to her, “It’s okay, baby.”

“But mom…” Cheryl whispered. As she felt his fingers touch her hair and trace down her cheeks, she knew what he wanted and she knew she couldn't say no.

“Mom is busy, she won’t know. Daddy needs you, baby. Daddy loves his girl. Shhh…this won’t be long honey, I promise…”

*************************************************

Cheryl stopped the journey back and looked out the window, tears falling down her cheeks as she remembered things she wished she could forget. She lit a cigarette and went to pour herself more coffee. Wandering back to the living room, she turned the television on just to hear something other than her own thoughts milling around in her head. She thought about calling Sam but dismissed it as she knew he wouldn’t have time to listen. He never had time or patience to hear anything about her dad. She’d just try to forget the memories for the night and focus on something, anything else. She thought about going to bed for the night, but knew it was too early and she wouldn’t be able to sleep. She settled into her chair, coffee and cigarettes close by, picked up a pen and her journal, and began to write.