My Dearest Kiefer

First Place



Dear Kiefer,


I had to write to let you know that I am absolutely infatuated with you. I never miss an episode of 24 and the chance to gaze upon your perfect male form. As much as I long to meet you in person, I know there is no way I will ever get close to you. So, I have to ask a favor: would you please send me something of yours, something you've touched or worn? Maybe a shirt you've sweat in, or a pair of underpants that have rubbed against your tight little behind, and you may have possibly let a small fart slip out inside of them.

If you can't spare any clothing, maybe you could send me a lock of hair, a fingernail clipping or a scab you've picked.


I would also be happy with something you were planning on throwing out. I'd take a used toothbrush, a Kleenex, a bandage with a drop of blood on it, a paper plate, or plastic fork that has touched those sexy lips. You see, it really doesn't matter what it is as long as it has touched you, or you have used it some way. I would greatly appreciate anything you send to me. You are the sexiest man alive.

XOXO,
Molly

P.S I'd even take your empty soda can with your spit in the bottom.


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