Snake! Snake!

SNAKE!! SNAKE!!

I'll tell to you a story,
And this will make you quake,
About an old bush lady,
And a big old Tiger Snake.

Now Tigers can be cranky,
It's best if you stay back,
Just let em wander off,
If disturbed they might attack.

Out of the corner of her eye,
She thought she saw a mouse,
She turned and looked just as the tiger
Disappeared under the house.

She wasn't very happy,
To know that it was there,
So she called her husband out,
To tell him of the scare.

Now old Arthur was a wary chap,
And came up with a plan,
He'd show the snake a thing or two,
This wily old bush man.

He went inside and put some milk,
In the bottom of a pan,
And set it by the back door steps,
A very clever plan.

But Old Joe Blake* was cunning,
He knew what it was about,
So he stayed hidden where he was
And wouldn't venture out.

Old Arthur then got sneaky,
Music would be grouse,
He wound up the old phonograph,
And put it near the house.

The music charmed the savage beast,
And as it poked out its head,
He fired the old shot-gun off,
And shot the poor snake dead.

A pity that his aim was poor,
As I am sad to tell,
For as the second barrel went off,
He killed the phonograph as well.


* "Old Joe Blake" is Australian rhyming slang for "snake".