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Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #1234723
A one hour golf lesson
The instructor seemed to be a friendly sort.  He was all smiles and explained to us how we were going to love hitting little white balls into a hole in the ground with what he called a putter.  Now, I've been on a golf course with my father many years ago, and drove the cart for him.  There were even times when he would walk the course and I helped pull the bag.  That was back when you could still walk a course and not worry about offending people who were faster than you.

"Pick up the putter, place your hands to form a "v" on the shaft, hold your chin up and your buttocks up and back", were the words I was hearing.  Now, I'm getting a little older and don't want to complain but there was not much I could do in a position like this.  Hitting a golf ball on a tee seemed near impossible.

We started by swinging the putter in our left hand only to show how important our left hand was.  We didn't use a ball; just swinging and trying to hit the rubber tee in the ground was hard enough.  Then we went to placing our hands correctly, shoulders back, buttocks in the air and swinging wildly to hit a very small ball placed on that rubber tee.

"You can practice at home and know that your stance is correct by placing your buttocks on the wall and swinging the putter without hitting the wall", came his words.  I'm getting a mental image of all the sheetrock I would be replacing if Ms. Grace decided to swing a club anywhere near a wall. 

I made it through the lesson!  Today, I have sore muscles in both arms and the putter is still in the back seat of my car.  Friends have said that golf can be an addiction  and once I learn to play, I'll want to be out on the course every chance I get.  People, I'm here to tell you that I do not need another addiction.  I do not have the poise or the determination or the patience to chase a little white ball all over a golf course.  Am I missing something?
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