Blacksmith

From darkness I came

Twenty-five years ago I came face to face with the God of all Creation
I was only a child
Nevertheless
He took it upon himself to snap me like a twig
Broken, I began anew
and stepped out into the life of adolescence something different than most of my friends
with an ancient wisdom hidden inside

Not wanting to let this new-found thing be only a hushed whisper
I found some small strength and told a few others

But adolescence is adolescence
and adolescence is a time where courage and strength are measured on other people’s faces
not necessarily within your own heart

Therefore I stopped telling
and as the words stopped coming from my lips
the words inside of me grew hollow
the wisdom sparse
and I shut it off, sealed it away, locked it up,
set myself to my own devices and pleased many as I went along

Back into the darkness I went

First a year, then five
then nearly ten
until I came face to face with that face once again

And it pierced me like this

“Sit down. I have to tell you something. I’m pregnant. Oh, and there is something else.
I don’t want to be married anymore.”

Its funny how pain has a way of lighting up the darkness. Of setting fire to your whole world. Of burning down your home, and your family, your career, your pride, and finally
most finally
your hope

So began my sojourn into the fire

and another three burning years went by
And in the middle when I knew that no one loved me and I would never hear those words again
It was as if the words inside of me just
just disappeared

But God hears prayers from the Pit

Hallelujah from the Pit

and He will build and build upon everything
every small piece of a fractured heart until it starts to not feel like broken stone anymore
and He will piece together that broken mind and spirit and will
and slowly turn it, turn it towards Him
and He will take those words lost long ago in that deep void
and He will begin to shout

as He shouted at me
Dawn!
Dawn!
it is a new Dawn!

and that is the name of my wife
and that is the name of the other half of me
and that is how I know that
God is a god of creation
God is a god of healing
God is a god of blacksmiths
that takes the twisted metal of your life
brings it into the fire
and forges for you something gleaming, shining, brilliant in the darkness, sharp and strong
so that when you look at it
the once great pain
falls away
and you are in awe of the skill with which He hath wrought